The idea of a prologue crafted in illustration to set the stage/tone for the season. A+. Keep that; it's doing serious work for your setup.
Lol, I was today years old when I realized Barr was the tapas elf daddy I needed in my life.
I've never even considered an ability user's magic being a limited consumable resource. Something that depletes with fatigue but always regenerates? Sure. An isolated resource that decides status and worth while claiming unity in the same breath? Nope, never heard of it.
Sounds messy. Sign me up.
Our first interpretation of Sherry. She's my sweet little elf FL, I immediately want only the best and to keep her safe. Then you hit us with, she's 5'9"... oh kayyy noted she can handle herself. My point is, good job on establishing a distinct voice for her.
When you start a series, it's very hard to keep from dumping all your lore on the reader at once. We get a fair amount of it, but the exposition gives the reader time to breathe and also ties in with the Sherry and Orras interaction.
The win for you is that none of it feels useless. Dwarf beard length indicates age? Subtle, but it's one of those things that click for a reader later in a story.
A very small thing that I noticed: you are very conscious about the constraints you've set up for the world, and I clearly see the intent to make sure nothing is missed.
There's nothing wrong with that, but you want to be careful when it starts to trickle into description. (I still struggle with this to this day). Trust the reader a bit more and try not to be too overly descriptive.
For example, if the beat shows Sherry getting out of this really cool muscle car, the act of further explaining the door opening can become redundant. Again, not a problem at all, just something to keep in mind for future episodes as you tighten your prose.
I love that even in high fantasy, with cross-species races, we still find humans tainting the masses. Typical.
Whew, when Orras was first introduced into the story, I was not aware that was the start of his evil villain arc, lol.
The dynamic between Mort and Sherry is compelling. It makes us yearn to know about their backstory AND, fun fact, when that happens, you know you've caught your readers in an emotional thirst trap.
It's always refreshing when you get to a moral point where you hate/love the main characters. I love that you're making us feel not only Sherry's and Mort's plight, but every single person who was affected by Mort's death. THAT is what makes readers keep clicking next at 3am.
AHHHHH, Mr. Tol selling black market smartphones and carrier plans is golden. I love that!
I can tell how much you poured into this, and that two years of effort show. Again, congrats, it's working!
I'm going to let Part One marinate before jumping into the next. (Because honestly? Deadbone stressed me out. Just crunching away on a body limb like a french fry this early in the morning.... I haven't even made coffee yet, lol.)
But yes, excited to jump into Part Two tomorrow! I want to make sure I give it the thorough read it deserves, as you've spent a significant amount of time building this world, and there are a lot of intersecting arcs.
