Smoll, timid artists:

yartzanaserenade 2020-09-01 19:02:38 UTC #22

It is important for us artists to have relationships in the artist community/industry, it is like a bad joke since so many of us are so introverted haha.
In person I'm still terrible too. I am good at smiling and making people feel comfortable (I think) but it really is hard for me to start a conversation or sticking around at all even though I like the person.

yartzanaserenade 2020-09-01 19:14:37 UTC #23

This is the question we all ask ourselves. Are we fit to be artists?

I think if we are asking ourselves that question the answer is probably yes.
The true question is if we are fit to be popular artists, or have an artist business, live from it. This is much trickier because talent or passion have nothing to do but it's more about whether you have the capacity to: 1st sustain the lifestyle, 2nd if you have the personality and charisma necessary to draw people in (or money to pay someone to do so lol), 3rd to have the necessary knowledge (or money..again) and predisposition to promote yourself (and make small creative sacrifices)

I honestly think that I myself am far away from fulfilling these requirements, but I just can't let it go, so I am okay with being a small artist that doesn't live from art but for art.

kmlangleyauthor 2020-09-01 19:19:22 UTC #24

Going back to old comments and posts are the worst! I know some people that constantly share their 5, 8, and 10 year old “memory” posts on social media.. and meanwhile, I’ll go peek every now and then and I cringe sooooo hard. Like, why would I have posted that in the first place? But, like you said, you live you learn, c’est le vie

Before I began posting, I would practically fangirl if the author/creator would reply to one of my comments, even if it was with a simple smiley emoji now that I’m posting my novel, I try so hard to reply to anyone who takes the time to leave me a comment and end up having some really fun conversations out it. It doesn’t always come easily, but by consistently taking that first step, it’ll get easier after a while. As a reader, I legit try to comment something - even if it’s (again) a series of emojis that sum up my emotional state. On the flip side, there’s a few authors/creators that I follow that rarely comment back... and it always makes me just a tiny bit sad. The communication between the creator and reader is part of the beauty on a site like this and I think it’s quite underutilized.

RyzaCobalion 2020-09-01 19:49:55 UTC #25

i honestly feel the same way. i'm may not be cut out for pursuing art a business but honestly as my passion and even if i am a small time artist and make few bits of commissions then that's good enough for me.

TheGentleArtist 2020-09-01 23:22:57 UTC #26

Thanks ^__^ and hey, one of the best ways to get through that feeling of expectations is just being you. It will be tough, but just know that being you will be accepted and don't always mind the the haters if there are any.

Kiweevil 2020-09-02 04:25:06 UTC #27

I was so, so shy when I first started out here in the forums, I wouldn't even share any art that had my comic characters in it. Now I do that all the time because people seem to like my designs, but I'm still a little too shy to engage in conversation with people I don't know or to promote myself.

I get incredibly self conscious about my work, world building, and character designs....mostly because they're just so out there. I mean, my titular character is an alien reaper demon Dog-Ferret hybrid. And when I put it like that, I'm scared people will think I'm a weirdo. I mean I am a weirdo, but it feels much worse when people point it out.

I'm trying to put myself out there more. I shyly admitted to my coworker today that I made a horror webcomic in my freetime but I refused to give out the name. She said she'll track me down so she can subscribe to be and I told her she'll never find me because I use a fake name. Still, she's persistent. She said she'll search through the horror genre until she finds it.

WillowTree 2020-09-02 04:28:13 UTC #28

I'm writing a romance between a shark-monster thing and a fisherman... I don't even want to think about what my friends or family would say if they knew that was the kind of thing I was writing in my spare time

Kiweevil 2020-09-02 04:35:22 UTC #29

Yeaaaaahh I've yet to tell my family any details about my comic. Probably better that way, given that it's NSFW (mostly in the department of gore) and I've got a lot of religious people in my family who would take issue with a little fuzzy demon that slashes open people

WillowTree 2020-09-02 04:44:49 UTC #30

The most my husband even knows is that I write male/male romance. I also told him about my werewolf one, but the shark one is so far a massive secret to everyone but Tapas people lmao

kmlangleyauthor 2020-09-02 16:59:04 UTC #31

I’ve told a grand total of 3 people irl that I’m posting one of my stories online. I bluntly told them not to look for it and that it’s under a fake name, anyway. Thankfully, all three of them have respected my boundaries (which is why I was willing to talk to them in the first place ) but I literally can’t imagine telling anyone else irl about this. I would just curl up in a corner and die. But I’ve always been really shy with sharing anything artistic. I started sharing some of my art on IG last year on a whim and that’s been really fun... and also terrifying since I didn’t fully bury it under a pseudonym

I really struggle with this too. I mean, we’re all weirdos in our own way, right? We just want to find people that appreciate our specific brand of weirdness... but, in doing so, we also open ourselves up to people who don’t appreciate it and that’s so freaking scary

drcharlotterodricks 2020-09-02 17:04:51 UTC #32

You leave me hearts and that's enough to keep me happy

yartzanaserenade 2020-09-02 19:05:06 UTC #33

I asked my husband what he would think if he found out i was writing a romance between a fisherman and a shark, and he said:" Well, I would think it's weird AF and definitely would want to read it."

yartzanaserenade 2020-09-02 19:12:54 UTC #34

it's true! everytime it amazes me how deeply we can bond through art, and the creativity is surely a side of people that doesnt show up very easily during common activities but when it does it never ceases to amaze and it feels like you're getting to know the real person. if that makes sense!

PaulDevers 2020-09-02 20:52:57 UTC #35

I have told like, nobody about my comic. It's pretty much all I ever draw, but honestly, I don't ever ask anybody to read it? I'm super nervous to tell anybody, or even post any art anywhere? For a multitude of reasons. Hell, even my brother, who knows about the story, I don't ask to read it? I'm just super embarrassed about the thought of trying to advertise. So, I don't, and that's kind of a problem.
I don't really know how to talk to anybody, or try and enter a conversation at all. I've got literally a whole second comic that I have content enough to start posting for and I have not posted any of it. I'm just so nervous about trying to present the idea to anybody. I don't know, I'm just unsure about how to talk to anybody. I need to try and put myself out there more on the forums as opposed to like just, dropping a link and scurrying off into the darkness.
Kind of just rambling here. I'm glad to hear about how many duos are a thing in the comic making process here! It's nice to hear about stuff like that.

NellieVP318 2020-09-02 20:54:33 UTC #36

I'm a timid and shy writer as well. Well, I did used to do art and I have posted up my art online but it took until I was about 19 to push myself to post my first writing online.

Even through I have posted up stuff before in the place, it is still very nerve racking for me to 'brag' or self-promote myself even my work. It's something I have to work on. But I'm getting there and it's probably a good things I'm not doing this for a living as well. I gave up that kind of thing a long time ago.

nostalgicroxas 2020-09-02 21:39:19 UTC #37

I totally agreee but imagine if the creator is super duper shy? Like saying lol or thanks and emotes so many times they might feel like they're not being genuine? It's a very hard slope

This is entirely me lol But I also don't ask people to read my stuff or advertise it strongly. Some people don't even realize I'm working on a novel or writing until they see me editing it during breaks at work. I carry that kind of attitude online :: I post it and if someone finds it or reads it YAY. I do make a point to participate in threads that kind of allow for the "drop and run" scheme - like post your last page, post a random sentence, post your last sentence, ect ect. I can drop something funny or interesting in most of those and then run - and for some of them you don't even need to post a link to your work. You CAN but you aren't required. It's way more casual and I see it more as a way to hold myself accountable.

kmlangleyauthor 2020-09-02 22:03:02 UTC #38

It really is!! Being shy and/or anxious is so freaking hard and there’s no one-size-fits-all way of going about anything. Another beauty of a site like this being able to post and run - whether a new episode or in the comments. And that’s just a lot harder to do irl, so I’m very grateful for this community. Because there is absolutely 0% chance I would have ever let anyone read my novel irl and I have a feeling the same is true of quite a few other creators (I’m sorry if I was coming across as pushy!)

yartzanaserenade 2020-09-06 02:44:19 UTC #39

After a while of being social I always get to the point where it gets harder and harder to interact. It saddens me cause i want to respond and interact to everyone equally but it becomes so hard and even the people that I really like start falling on the background.

CttMaurice 2020-09-06 05:08:35 UTC #40

I personally consider myself a good writer and artist. I have been trying to do as best as I possibly could non stop for the past umm, like a year and a half I think? But yea, it's been like a full-time job ever since then. That doesn't pay of course.
"Ahh"
If I had to be honest, the effect that stories have on my emotional state and the ability that they have to change someone's life is what drew me to it. I was watching a show that made me fall in love with storytelling. But of course, I was never the social type, and in general, I never touched social media apart from simply lurking for memes and good art. Now I have to do all these promotions and network. Ahh, it's just so overbearing to me.

Honestly, glad to hear that other creators have this issue too. Makes me feel more at ease with my anxiety. T-T

nostalgicroxas 2020-09-06 05:51:38 UTC #41

I just noticed I've been feeling crummy the last few days in my attempt to write and asked myself why just now. Cause somehow I've slipped back into that obsession of checking my numbers. "Is it popular yet?!!" Guh. I could just be tired (switching my sleep from waking up at midnight to waking up closer to noon) or I could just be hungry (haven't had dinner yet), or I could just be in a bad mental state right now because I'm allowing myself to obsess myself into unhappiness.

Summary

And I mean stuff like this.

I have finally broken the curse of 66 subs this week and hit 75 steadily and instead I'm mad and bitter that all these subs are on the piece I actively use like two braincells for and it updates only twice a month in 500 word bursts.
Like on the one hand I'm glad people like it. I like it. On the other hand, I feel like it's syphoning off subs from the work that it's a spin-off of and actively makes me want to just stop updating/delete the entire thing and burn in a dumpster fire.

Again. I could just be tired/hungry and ill from sleep issues and what not.

I just think it's important for me personally in all my introvertedness to recognize that I spend more energy being upset about something rather than letting myself remember to be happy about stuff. Sure I haven't written something quite new in the last three days but I've made a little game plan and have ducks in a row ready to be shot. I'm looking forward to writing it and fleshing it out.

Summary

I have people who actually read my writing here on Tapas and it's not smut trash fanfic stuff I literally wrote to test Ao3's audiences to see if that'll draw people in to read actual serious works by the same author.
At the same time, that work above, BTC? It's got almost double more views on any chapter with a "M" label. Like. Tapas as a whole you're better, but down to the nitty gritty, you aren't. Course that's just comparing a few hundred or twenty something views, where Ao3 just breaks the perv chart with being over 8k views

heavy serious eyerolling

I hope it's just :: I'm sick cause x y z medical / sleep / food.

Summary

It's just annoyances like this that make me want to flat out abandon Tapas and trying to share my works at all. It's okay to feel upset, frustrated and disgruntled. But like that thread happening right now that's like "share you accomplishments" and I'm super motivated in all my irritation right now to post something like "I have people who read it and I'm this close to pulling the actual plug on this dumpster fire that no one reads". Gotta love that symmetry. chef kiss