I haven't been doing anything for my VN for like weeks and it was supposed to be released for halloween...sigh. Switching anti-deprassants during production period is not something I recommend...
Oh man! I have a passive personality type and I know this kind of friendship all too well. I was never sure whether it was me or them or a bad mesh of personalities.
I figure that sometimes people mistake my passivity for submission. Some people love to be leaders of their friendship group and, actually, there's nothing wrong with that. If you're trying to lead somebody who doesn't want to be led, however, it can make some nasty friction. I've had several friendships where my friend seems to think I'm constantly disrespecting them and I'm confused about what I'm doing that's annoying them so badly...
i still dont get people who are so against outdoor cats. man, theyre like a degree of separation from being straight up wild animals, particularly in places where they breed w wild cat species. what, dyou expect everyone to turn their houses into a kitty jungle gym rather than let it just get some fresh fucking air?
i used to have the outdoorsiest of outdoorsy cats, and he could not be satisfied indoors. he needed an expanse of new territory to explore, and he needed to hunt, bc hed spent his earliest months abandoned in a garden. so we gave him that. when it turned out we had catnappers in the area and he got stolen, we gave him back to the shelter when we got him back. yknow what theyre gonna do? make him a farmer's cat, not a bloody indoors cat. the responsible thing when it wasnt safe for him to be an outdoors cat here, was to let him be an outdoors cat somewhere else, somewhere safe.
if your cat dies bc it got run over on the main road, the problem wasnt you letting it out. it was you deciding to keep a cat that wasnt satisfied staying indoors while living so close to a main road. damn.
My cat liked to sleep in the undercarriages of other people's cars. We think he got taken for a ride, got off, and didn't know how to get back home.
His name was Marco, after the Animorphs character.
i wont lie, cats do do some pretty dumb shit
This reminds me of a thing I read the other day about a family with an outdoor-indoor cat. Apparently their neighbor had a problem with the cat, so they took it 10 miles away from it's home, and dumped it. The family is pressing charges, and still looking for their lost pet.
We have a few cats like that, but we only let them in the yard. Not because of cars... mostly, but cuz people can be so awful for no reason. Hell, every Halloween black cats turn up mutilated around neighborhoods in our city as a holiday "tradition". Plus I live in a desert, and the last thing I want is a coyote, or javelina to get one of my cats.
I always had indoor/outdoor cats. They like to lay in the yard and eat field mice.
The current cat I have now I only have because he just showed up one day and inserted himself into our family between the other cats.
He's a lazy shit who became afraid of the outdoors now tho.
oh thats a bloody dick move.
yeah, id definitely keep a cat in on halloween regardless. i just cant respect the concept of just keeping a cat in for its safety, regardless of how it feels about it. its not fair! quality of life > length of life, imo.
Well, if they get past the yard there's not much that can be done. Personally I don't think being torn apart by a larger predator after desperately trying to escape would equal a "quality life", but different strokes for different folks. I've personally seen, and buried, too many pets who've been killed in their youth to be completely "who cares what happens."
Unless that cat was previously a stray, of course. Since they're not completely ignorant to the dangers of the outside, and know how to defend themselves. I'd still be wary if I didn't see the cat within a few weeks, though.
ahh yeah, im probably biased bc my cat was previously a stray, and he was very competent outdoors. that didnt stop us from losing our shit if he didnt come back for his second breakfast though.
i just dont think its fair to condemn the concept of outdoor cats across the board
lol i can't stop thinking about my grandparents' place. it CRAWLS with wild cats (they feed them) XD
Then again, put that many cats in an apartment building and they're no better than vermin.
I had a crazy cat lady for an aunt. Every piece of furniture she had was slowly dissolving under an onslaught of cat piss.
I don't disagree, it is awful to force your cats to stay if they don't want to (I had to keep my cats in my room for a while cuz my mom's husband was an abusive ass who went after the cats if they were out. I felt pretty shitty for having to do that), but I feel it depends on the outdoor cat. Most of my indoor-outdoor cats were born, and raised indoors. They were never taught basic survival skills, hell, when they're lucky enough to catch prey they don't even know to eat it. If any of them got past the yard they'd most likely get scared, get lost, then die from something. It'd be like letting a toddler run loose in the wilderness by themselves.
So yeah, to me outdoor cats who were born outdoor cats are fine, but a cat born indoors, with no survival experience is less fine.
Anyways, I don't want to keep derailing the thread, so I'll be ending my end of the conversation.
this is none of my business dear god
Talk to her. Try to explain to her her how certain behaviors have been making you feel. If she's truly a "pretty sweet person", she'll most likely strive to do better moving forward. If not, well..
I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes we have to cut ties when relationship change. You have your whole life ahead of you to meet new people and form new bonds 
See if you can get her to understand you; then make an informed decision. I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you!
Man, I've tried this but it always ends up with me telling her how I feel and then the argument gets turned into a huge insult fight. And the next day we act as if nothing happened and we're friends again... But maybe next time I'll take a different approach thanks for the advice!
Wow, that's rough. I think maybe the whole "pretend nothing happened" thing might not be the best approach, since it's basically supressing any negative/hurtful feelings that need to be addressed and resolved. I hope it all works out for you girl
