This reminds me of a thing I read the other day about a family with an outdoor-indoor cat. Apparently their neighbor had a problem with the cat, so they took it 10 miles away from it's home, and dumped it. The family is pressing charges, and still looking for their lost pet.
We have a few cats like that, but we only let them in the yard. Not because of cars... mostly, but cuz people can be so awful for no reason. Hell, every Halloween black cats turn up mutilated around neighborhoods in our city as a holiday "tradition". Plus I live in a desert, and the last thing I want is a coyote, or javelina to get one of my cats.
Well, if they get past the yard there's not much that can be done. Personally I don't think being torn apart by a larger predator after desperately trying to escape would equal a "quality life", but different strokes for different folks. I've personally seen, and buried, too many pets who've been killed in their youth to be completely "who cares what happens."
Unless that cat was previously a stray, of course. Since they're not completely ignorant to the dangers of the outside, and know how to defend themselves. I'd still be wary if I didn't see the cat within a few weeks, though.
I don't disagree, it is awful to force your cats to stay if they don't want to (I had to keep my cats in my room for a while cuz my mom's husband was an abusive ass who went after the cats if they were out. I felt pretty shitty for having to do that), but I feel it depends on the outdoor cat. Most of my indoor-outdoor cats were born, and raised indoors. They were never taught basic survival skills, hell, when they're lucky enough to catch prey they don't even know to eat it. If any of them got past the yard they'd most likely get scared, get lost, then die from something. It'd be like letting a toddler run loose in the wilderness by themselves.
So yeah, to me outdoor cats who were born outdoor cats are fine, but a cat born indoors, with no survival experience is less fine.
Anyways, I don't want to keep derailing the thread, so I'll be ending my end of the conversation.
this is none of my business dear god
Talk to her. Try to explain to her her how certain behaviors have been making you feel. If she's truly a "pretty sweet person", she'll most likely strive to do better moving forward. If not, well..
I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes we have to cut ties when relationship change. You have your whole life ahead of you to meet new people and form new bonds
See if you can get her to understand you; then make an informed decision. I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you!
Wow, that's rough. I think maybe the whole "pretend nothing happened" thing might not be the best approach, since it's basically supressing any negative/hurtful feelings that need to be addressed and resolved. I hope it all works out for you girl
#but let me not turn this into a group therapy thread, pfft
- Help me I'm swedish so when that one is played I ACTUALLY KNOW THE BLOODY LYRICS SO IT'S STUCK EVEN HARDER
- I am fucking pissy because I can kinda sing... until I approach a microphone. Then I sound like a half dead bird on the road screaming for sweet mercy.
I USED TO BE A NEAT SOPRANO DAMMIT IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD TO BECOME A GOOD BARITONE
Outdoor cats are illegal in the area I live... this was not a thing we realized was a thing since all neighbourhoods we lived in before it was both perfectly fine and normal.
Every time one of our cats got out we would get a 500$ fine. We had a neighbour that really fucking hated us, so one of the many things he would complain to the city for or get us fined for was if they spotted our cats out of the house, and honestly, we got warnings and fines so friggen often it was pretty clear that he was practically stalking our house to see if they got out.
One of our outdoor cats ended up getting poisoned and dying. The other one was just didn't come back one day. Another neighbour asked us what happened to our cats and was pretty disappointed to learn that they had passed. Apparently they kept the mice out of her shed (we're right across the street from a small forest area, so there are LOTS of small animals that live there, it's why the cats liked going out so much) and since they disappeared her shed and a lot of the garages in the neighbourhood have been infested with them. You honestly can't go on a walk without seeing mice run across the sidewalk or around you. (remember it's a no outdoor cats policy neighbourhood, so we were likely not the only ones that got fines if our cats got out)
Personally, I think outdoor cats are less unsightly then seeing mice everywhere and in everything but I guess that's just my opinion.