Just as a reminder -- because this is a BL thread -- make sure the discussion is civil and relatively chill.
On my end, I've only concluded that the same problems are prevalent in other genres. But when it comes to genres that provide a glimpse into people's actual livelihoods (not even just romance/bl/gl, but coming of age, historical, etc) -- it becomes trickier to try and dissect it all.
Because again, a lot of problematic BL that's labeled romantic might come from a bad promo...or it comes from mimicking the older stuff (which was more or less smut -- I'll be honest with you). Now, BL has started to evolve, and that's with the inclusion of other genres like LGBTQIA+ and WLW. At the same time, the connotations haven't all gone away completely, and that in lies part of the problem.
Also -- there's the aspect of art. If someone doesn't dive into Japanese mange-styled comics or cartoonish comics -- yes, the artsyle will be the same for them. And that's the same throughout the board -- if I never read a superhero comic in my life, and I saw two comics that had similar art designs, I too would think "all superhero comics kinda look the same". I can't do that.
Outside of the connotations, it kinda has to do with wanting to explore outside of the genres we work it? Or at least read a bit more of the comics we don't like. Don't have to like the stories, but understanding story-elements is very important to me. Think that's why I'm able to tell different horror sub-genres apart, even if they have similar elements XD