The Most Demotivating thing you have ever been told

[sxxaint]

this is so horrible! i hope she ends up with some karmatically appropriate retribution

[CommanderMarty]

I've been told I look like a girl because of my hair, I keep getting told that it needs to be cut (I do somewhat agree because it gets in the way sometimes) but I don't give enough of a shit to cut it. (And I don't want to)

[MattRAuthor]

So my mum spent years asking if she could read my writing and I was far too nervous to show her. I finally finish a book and let her read it. She read on chapter and said it was 'juvenile'. I would have been sixteen at the time I think.
It took me years to give her another, but I gave her another book last year to read for me before I sent it to agents. She then made a bunch of excuses about why she couldn't read it (she does have narcolepsy and would fall asleep over it all the time, but I didn't blame her). It's been a lot of fun.

[violin]

haha I wish I had the confidence to do that! back then I just took it to heart and thought my interests were lamer than hers, which now as an adult I can see was not the case

honestly I still feel anxiety when I see her at family gatherings and stuff. it's like it just brings me back to my teenage years. it's funny because if i meet a new person that acts just like her it doesn't bother me at all, i just think they're lame and immature

[Prisim]

Aside from what I tell myself about my writing lol, I thankfully haven't had too many bad comments that really punched me in the gut. But the one that made me head scratch and feel bad for a little bit was this one.

"And there it is, the romance. I'll be skimming the rest of this story because I don't like romance." Which came off as "this book now sucks because there's romance in it" and this was in a book with absolutely no romance in it what-so-ever. There's a chance by the end of the series the 2 MC's get together, but that's never something I plan, it just happens if it happens so I don't even know if it'll happen or if they'll wind up just being close friends. I'm a pantser, so often times I'm learning things at the same time the reader is learning it because it's how the book adapted as I wrote it. So to have someone decide they will skim the rest of the book because of the potential for romance between two characters really hit me in the gut. Why even bother skimming? Just stop reading if this mere thought of 2 characters getting together is that excruciating. To think someone was enjoying the book long enough to get half way through it (maybe even longer. I can't remember the exact spot the person made the comment) and then just decided to not like it because of potential romance? Like did my writing suck that badly that the itty bitty hints of a maybe are that off putting?

I've been called cliche a couple of times as well but that one didn't bother me because I know I use a lot of cliches. I like some of my cliches LOL

hey would word it in a way that people with dyslexia shouldn't be writers

As someone with mild dyslexia, I call bullshit to this one and I'm sorry anyone has ever said this to you. Yes, there is a lot we won't be able to catch ourselves no matter how hard we try, but that is where people who can come in to play. I feel like an idiot every time I word swap something that I know is wrong but I don't catch me using it wrong, but that's just how it is. Spell check catches many of my mistakes but it'll never catch everything because of the nature of my struggles. If/when I ever get serious about my writing there will be editors who will catch the things I can't catch myself. Obviously I'll work my ass off to catch them myself first, but it's not the end of the world if I still miss something because there will be someone along the way who will catch it.

[_Glazed]

Ouch, I'd also feel demotivated myself after reading what your friends said to you. :/

For me it's, "for a native english-speaker, you sure need to study your grammar more". Listen, I don't mind it if I make a simple grammar mistake and I get corrected for it, but jeez dude, you could've just told me where I screwed up. I don't see why you needed to word it in such way, y'know? I've seen so many people grammar police others but instead of just pointing out the mistake and going on their way it always something like, "Ooop-" or "I'm sorry I had to laugh-", just why? As someone who often makes mistakes in grammar it's kinda off-putting if you constantly get this stuff, people mistakes, golly. :/

[rajillustration]

There's a few, all happening in College, because that's when I started taking art seriously, and I think the worst offender was either my animation teachers (plural! I had two who did this) who refuse to critique my sketchbook because "You're an illustrator so it's different and I don't want to come off condescending" and like...well I guess you at least acknowledge your insane superiority complex to other art degrees. Wild since you both started off as illustrators and most illustrators take animation courses. Wild.

And then the other was a teacher who I think was going through a real rough time and said "If you don't make it in 2 years then what even are you doing? You'll never succeed after that so either delete your social media and change your art name so no one will know who you were or just go into accounting." Which is maybe the worst advice I've ever recieved. And I even knew it at the time that it was bad advice, but he's a white guy who came from a position where he graduated in the 90's when it was a lot easier to get entry level illustration jobs, he had an agent out of college, so he was living off of pure illustration in 6 months. Yes he worked hard but hot DAMN good thing he didn't fail or he would have just thrown in the towel. He would have never known how good he truly was if he only gave pursuing art 2 years.

And like what even success, right? Like we all work other jobs when we have other jobs. It's fine. The push to become a full time illustrator is honestly overrated.

Funily enough the same teacher who told us that later went full Papa bear when a visiting artist told us we were terrible (we were 1 month illustration students at the time so we were terrible), and like totally was like "Don't listen to that guy! he's an asshole! You don't want to be like him! Go have a real life unlike that guy, that slimeball, that dickweed! he has no friends!" so like...he wasn't terrible all the time just occasionally he had some doubt that I think was more centered on himself than us.

[ratscout]

One of my siblings basically convinced me to stop drawing by saying, "No matter how much you draw, you just don't seem to improve while (other siblings) just keep on improving." And that was pretty much it for me drawing seriously. Nowadays, I only do it for fun every now and again. XD

[akemikae]

"You know there's 16 year old's that draw better than you." (I'm 26)

"When are you going to start drawing something better than that cartoon stuff?"

And a billion other versions of the same question asking when I'll start doing "real" art. It doesn't bother me all the time, but a lot of the time it really makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong by drawing what I like. (even though I arguably have worked hard to make it my own style...)

A decent amount of stuff I get told has already been mentioned...but the age one really gets me.

[drawnbyyannan]

When I post an "art improvement" thing on instagram and there's always that one person that says they like the old one better. It ticks me off especially when they don't say why.

[drawnbyyannan]

Totally feel you on that age thing.

[cherrystark]

I know that feeling. I stopped doing art as a kid because whenever I brought it up, people always talked about how good someone else was. Took my desire to practice since I never got the chance to use it. On the flip side, if someone knew I was skilled in a certain medium, that's all I ever did. It became a circle of stress and demotivation

[sorrelyn]

"I love you."

"Okay."

[oshirockingham]

I don't wanna talk about it.
It's too demotivating to remember.
Now I'm demotivated.

[Possum]

Gotta say, I stan the character development from the teacher???

[Carossmo]

Dang that sucks... I became an animator once XD it was fun while it lasted haahah

[gmaximin]

Me asking after 2min of passionate explanations about an episode I was particularly proud of:
“So, what do you think, do you like it?”
My wife: “...
... ...
... ...
... ...
by the way... what for dinner?”

That was slightly crushing...

[ar-ninetysix]

Quite frankly.. The most demotivating thing that's been said to me doesn't exist.

I used to often ask for feedback on little previews or full songs of music I've made when I post 'em online and usually no one responds. That lack of response has been more demotivating than any potential mean comment. At least with a mean comment, I can ask what I could change, but to just have no one say anything???? It always gives off that vibe to me that people don't care about what I have to put out there, and that's never the case bc literally everybody I've talked to in person about my music always tells me that they see something great in what I can do. But again, since there's so little interaction with the actual thing online (those same people included), it just comes off as a compliment out of pity like "man, nobody cares, nice try though"

It's because of that I've never been fond of promoting my music much, but that's also why no one's able to say anything about what I'm working on either, and so I just tend to get stuck in this destructive spiral of a catch-22 that I created My music's for me obviously, but god, do I want people's opinion on it

[CommanderMarty]

I fucking feel you on that, I have even said in the past that I would rather get hate than no feedback.

[DiscountedArtist]

"When are you going to start drawing something better than that cartoon stuff?"

I don't get why people say this. A big part of the future of art is the "cartoon stuff." Cartoons are literally the reason why many people start art. And cartoons generate much more money than realism.