11 / 27
Jul 2016

I get a pet tiger that will do anything at my will...

You start writing a statement after each of your twists so others can have fun too...

…but then realize that there are no others, because the forum doesn't exist.

I found a nice painting at the thrift shop...

... and thought to myself "I can make this shit" so I didn't buy it.

Instead, I went home to get my art supplies...

When you go home, you realise that you have no home... you're a hobo there are no art supplies...

I feed my pet Magikarp...

…but instead of thanking me, it screams.

I buy a coffee at the same place every morning...

...because the coffee shop owner would murder you otherwise.

I smoke two joints in da mornin'...

...but today my stash was dry and so was my dealer.

I started to draw a cute comic...

You never finished it...felling abandoned, it comes to life and eats you...
People subscribe to my comic...
Retired!

…in order to better understand their estranged father, who is a retired ninja.

Your aunt gives you a horrible sweater...

Which has a picture of Bin Laden on it... The police think you're a terrorist and arrest you for life...

I wish Donald Trump was a Pokemon...

2 months later

... but bulls are too.

I wake up with a really bad hangover...

Into that giant pine tree...

The gay dude dodged the bullet...

...when he left his fiance at the alter, and realized he was in love with his best man instead.

you thought your coffee tasted kind of off this morning...

. . . until you realized your tears had made it salty.

John was going strong with his girlfriend for four years . . .