Jan 2021
5 / 12
Jan 2021
Jan 2021
arpeggiomax87
Jan '21

The concept of doing something such as creating content, and realizing not being able to do anything but that. It gets to where you realize you're a sad, pathetic human being to continue into this dim, dark pathway to the depths of hell.

You lost all joy in your life, heed answers yet you relinquish them without intent, paying for your attempts to do something much more than say a common fool impose towards everything/everyone else until you make them run away from you.

You become bitter, ignorant, ungrateful and deliberate in your hateful stampede through those who help you in any possible retort to your problems.

They don't open their eyes yet they impede judgement based on their common efforts to advocate your worth as a person.

It's as dim as that pathway to hell.

I don't have hope.anymore. I don't have answers, I have nothing. My life is taking a down-whirl spiral and I feel like I'm going nowhere. I thought I could at lease have some salvation on my work, but im stuck dead in the hole, and now i am paying for the inevitable.

I've completely lost my moral thought process and my mind, and all I do is hurt help. I'm a help hurter and It's come down to where It's not worth being alive for.

I don't know why I'm writing this, but I just need something. Anything. Just please.

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    Jan '21

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    Jan '21
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lunagraves714
Jan '21

I don’t know if this is at all helpful, but I want you to know you’re not alone. Creating comics and novels is incredibly hard, and sometimes it feels like it’s going nowhere fast. Life is hard too. But sometimes when I’m going through tough times, I try to focus back on the good days that have passed, and I remember them. They’re good because of the bad I experienced, kind of like giving it perspective. I still have really bad days sometimes, but it’s okay. The sun still shines, the birds chirp, the butterflies float around the gardens—these are the things I cling onto because they make me smile. I find it best to seek out what makes you smile and hold it close to your heart. Trying something new also helps because it creates new memories and new experiences you might enjoy. Painting just for fun or ranting on a piece of paper is also a great outlet to give your mind and emotions a break. Point is, please don't give up.

Shadymeadows
Jan '21

I'm sorry for your pain. I hope you can find contentment with your art and life even though it can be really hard. I struggle with it way too often but remind myself that I make it for myself more then anyone else.

peach
Jan '21

Oh nooo, I don't know you, but reading this made me sad, and it's relatable as well - that feeling of not contributing anything, of feeling useless in ways...it's hard :cry: But you're the only one who can be you, who can tell the stories you have to tell. Keep going. All voices matter :two_hearts:

irresponsiblepics
Jan '21

If the op is about making comics.
Working with any form of consumption is diminished returns. Its just how it is.
Accept that and move on. Dont accept it then give up.

If the op is about life.

Guess what?
Even though you don't think it is right now....YOU are the one behind the wheels. It is only you who can change its direction.
Venting is fine but it won't change anything. People will advise you but it won't change anything.
Only YOU can do this.
I suggest walking from any negativity in your life and focus on the positives...as small as they are.

You are breathing. Thats a start. Find yourself.

Buy that mental boat and ride the waves. You will master it.

surenlicious
Jan '21

This sounds like the part a therapist should come in, which I am not, but I hope one could be an option for you.

Look, speaking as someone who on March 27th 2020 went ROCK-bottom and assumed I would never get up again- I fell downward after 15 years. Pieces of me were being chipped away during this period little by little, and tldr, I finally crumbled. Reading your story is like an eerie mirror to what I once felt.

But I'll agree with what @irresponsiblepics said above, YOU are the one who is going to get yourself up. When rock bottom is reached, often no one will help you up. Everyone can give you advise, tell them their viewpoint and give you a nudge and a wink, but at the end of the day you are once again left with your own hurt.

It's you who at the end of the day also can help yourself up again. It's YOU who must and CAN heal.

I speak from a very lonely, but tenacious experience. I want you to know, that I very much hope you will find your strength again. This world is gorgeous, do you know that? It's gorgeous because we have you in it.

It's okay to lie at the bottom- feel the ground, breathe in the air, let your roots find their foundations again. And after that, you dust yourself off, and try again.

Stay strong.

demikuro
Jan '21

I'm going to tell you something that may come as rude, but I'm doing it because I come from the same place where you are right now.

You are in despair. Stop everything you are doing and abandon your attempts to mend what is completely shattered, you are only making it worse.

I can't tell you enough how good it will do to your dream if you leave it alone for a month, or a couple of months. Don't try to "make work" anything, in the state you are, you can't.

This often happens when we expect immediate succes. It's even worse when you NEED it to be immediate.

I don't know how old are you or for how long have you, actively, tried to "succeed" in this webcomic thing. It often takes years, but if you love what you are doing, you are willing to go as long as needed.

Step back, look at your dream and look at youself, try to remember the reason of why you are doing this, because, let me tell you, if the reason why you are doing something has become just money... is never going to happen.

For your well being, remember, and redefine yourself.
Be safe.

ar-ninetysix
Jan '21
1

Your feelings are absolutely valid and yes, life definitely sucks in some way or another tbh, but I don't believe that your harsh times are gonna last forever. Do I think you should see an expert about this? Maybe, but that's your decision you'll have to make if or when you're able and determined to go through with it.

Quite frankly, if everything's useless, take a break from it all. Take a vacation if you can (not a trip somewhere, we're still in the corona ages), lose yourself in some other mindless activity. The burden of always creating something was wearing down on you anyways, why not do something just bc you can do it and idk it looked mildly interesting? Hell, what's stopping you, the futility of life? Take it a step further in that belief, isn't that futility itself kinda stupid to begin with?? Shut that shit outta yo mind, who gives a damn, learn to crochet, go rival against your local grandmas, they're your temporary competition now bc lord knows they ain't got much time left, I-

Dude, you got this. You got friends and family, whether you feel like invalidating them or not. You got a body and you got time, whether you feel like you're tired beyond the point of recovery or just being lazy. Or just skip over this, I know what it's it like, I can hear it in your mind "damn everybody really thinks they're a motovational speaker all of sudden, they're just doing this to make themselves feel better instead of pitying me" and that might be true, but like you're the one who said that you needed something so hey, here you go, I happened to care enough to leave a comment for a total stranger I recognize sometimes on the internet, free of charge.

What you do with your life is none of my business, but you make a good point. Made me write three paragraphs tryna say something, damn, here's a meme you deserve it
11
ble
Jan '21

I can relate to OP.

I feel kinda like that sometimes, but in my case, i feel really down because I can't monetize the shit i do, after trying lot of things, everything has failed, so I constantly feel like I'm wasting my time.

I do agree that taking a break helps. Thinking on my results or about my art just make me feel depresed or frustrated, so i take a break reading, playing games, watching anime, etc just to take a break for the burden of being a creator.