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JoshRaed
Oct '23

Like I have a golden rule for comments on gay webcomics: Imagine your comment was said by a homophobic person. Would it make sense as something a homophobe would say? If so, it's a bad comment.

I saw someone unironically comment calling the protagonist of a comic they were reading a "pathetic little queer" but in like a cute, pet name way. Why? Why would you say that?

And the comments also can be extremely infantilising, calling character "babies" or "gaybies" or things like that. I read the comments in a webcomic chapter in which the main characters are currently depressed middle aged men working office jobs, in which someone called them "my little gay boys" like I beg your fucking pardon these characters are at least 35 at this point, possibly 40. When called out for this the commenter changed it to "little gay men" like that makes it better.

I mainly see this for queer webcomics, this infantilizing attitude towards the characters. Straight webcomics or webcomics with no such issue get no such treatment.

I wish people would do this less often. It's very questionable behavior.

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KelheorRegular
Oct '23
1

My guess you never were on Tumblr or seen any fandom behavior? Yes, straight comics are getting this behavior too. Non-romance comic characters are also called babies more than enough. Readers like to coo over characters of any age and any kind of behavior, frequently enough these readers are also 35-40 themselves.

NickRowler
Oct '23
1

I feel like I have seen it in stuff outside of queer media. It's a whole concept of "moe". People become emotionally attached to a character and "want to protect them at all cost". I have seen it especially in anime fandoms and with the Bronies back in the day.

I feel like a lot of the girls who make these type of comments on BL tend to be teenagers, so I think it's best just to ignore them.

RedLenai
Oct '23
1

My most deranged babygirl, he is not only my wife but my mortal enemy. Loving this disaster bisexual of a man that probably doesn't even know what a bidet is. He is an aquarius just like me, filled with daddy issues and emotionally constipated, gotta love this loser who died by a fricking rusty nail after punching God in the face.

Leaving my very obvious Tumblr behavior sample aside, it is not questionable behavior, mind you that the people that usually comment these kind of things about their favorite characters are usually queer, weird, cringe and probably not anymore of the age of 12 to 25 where everything is embarrassing, oh no I have to protect my integrity, nah, these are 30-40 year old people that do something very simple like having fun in a fandom space.

This not only happens to queer fiction, but any kind of fiction actually. Fictional characters don't have ages, actual sexual orientation or anything, they are mere imitations of what a real human is like and no, just because someone makes a fancam about their favorite be gay do crime blorbo doesn't mean they treat actual people the same way.

My recommendation for you, is that if you don't like how certain people react in a place, avoid that place. Or learn to embrace you can be weird and cringe too.

hakei
Oct '23

Agree, such comments tend to come from a place of fun meme-y fandom behavior rather than from a place of malice. And not limited to queer media either.

Example: Old men are sometimes lovingly referred to as "babygirl."


moontokkym
Oct '23

Gay person here. The babying is everywhere, litterally people will just call eachother "baby", "babe" or "bae" as a romantic pet name, same goes for characters.

Personnally when I see that language, like others have said, I assume "internet elder of the Tumblr peak, probably also queer". I find it more awkward when commenters are more hesitant or uncomfortable talking about the queer elements in my story. To me having people baby or thirst after my characters means they're invested, because I also baby ALL of my characters, the one I (and many others) baby the most is the lil sentient marshmallow called JP who is a 2 metre tall gentle giant ex alcoholic 45 year old bodybuilder. They also baby the 8 year old. Both are expressions of affection.

If the comments bother you, don't read the comments on stuff you're reading. I you ever publish a story where people baby your characters, you can say it makes you uncomfortable and calmly set boundaries but that is just how some people express affection for fictional characters.

UrMom
Oct '23

Your statement that 35 - 40 is middle aged to you is giving me an existential crisis.

Can't add anymore to what everyone else has already said. Sure, it can be kinda cringe, but they're not hurting anyone so who cares. At least they're enjoying themselves.

JoshRaed
Oct '23

I thought middle age was 35-50 because your 20’s and early 30’s are when you’re young, and your 60’s are when you’re old.

choilyriel
Oct '23

It's actually pretty normal in fandoms bruh. It's like a meme-y kinda thing. A lot of people actually called their favourite characters pathetic, babygirl, etc. It's normal behaviour in fandom, heck some authors even called their character like that.

If you feel uncomfortable, just read the story and don't read the comments

MK_Wizard
Oct '23

I noticed this problem decades ago when Yaoi was all the rage. The "fans" don't really care about the characters at all or even about the value of the romance itself. To them, seeing two guys making out is just a show for them and they usually only like to watch the pretty boys. It's a fetish not a genuine appreciation for the couple of fiction. And I agree. It needs to stop because it is a form of objectification. It's no different than people leaving lewd comments on a comic that features a beautiful woman. There's nothing with being a gay man or a beautiful woman, but there is something wrong when that's all you care about.

MK_Wizard
Oct '23
RedLenai

I have to say this because I'm an author and I got chased out of town decades ago on another site for asking people to go easy on the dirty comments... and know that I am not coming from a place of judgement. We all have fantasies, but there's a reason some comments are not polite.

Even in real life, catcalling, acting like a pig and being creepy will get in trouble not only socially, but also with the law. It's also why flashing and unwanted touching is not acceptable. None of that is "good clean fun". Now, it's easy to dismiss acting lewd online because you're directing it at fictional character, but in reality, you are directing it at someone real: the author. And it's very embarrassing, stressful and uncomfortable for 90% of your comments on your art to sound like they came from perverts who sound not right in the head. It's not flattering and it's not something they can just ignore. At one point, it becomes frightening and you begin to question what kind of crowd you attracted.

It is NOT ok to have no class even online. And it's not ok that we have normalized doing private behaviour in public spaces. There are times and places for things like that. And I think everyone including the people engaging in the "private behaviour" would be happier if we abided by it.

RedLenai
Oct '23
2

Then I believe, if an author has a problem with it they can close their comment section, make an announcement, limit the access of certain users, blacklist certain words, filter down comments, block users and even more. There are so many tools to curate one's personal experience on the internet; so use them to better enhance your online experience after deciding to expose yourself to strangers on the internet that won't necessarily know what offends you or not, what makes you feel frightened despite they are individuals in a computer that once you turn it off is silent at home. Which is also another thing, sometimes one person spends way too much time online that everything is real and a direct attack to them, so getting off social media to have a sense of reality is also important.

And even with those tools, you won't always be in control of people, the bigger the number the smaller your hands are.

Personally speaking, one person gotta be prepared to accept, tolerate or ignore reactions that aren't necessarily the ones you wants to receive, simply because you make yourself reachable to strangers first, by exposing yourself you put yourself as a target, and you can't always expect that people's jokes or words are just in the right dose you can tolerate. You have tools to curate your experience, but they aren't going to work if you're afraid of "being chased down" so you don't actually use them. At one point you stop chewing your own head over it, you ignore it and avoid making assumptions of a bunch of strangers who not necessarily are indecent, disrespectful and harmful human beings just because they are fans of a non existen person that the author puts themselves into and blurrs the difference between real, fiction and their heart.

I separated myself from the works a long time ago, be it comics, commissions, original characters and such that nowadays I don't care if they objectify them, after all they are products, digital or physical illustrations that'll end up in merch one way or another, so yeah objects too. And personally, it feels a bit egocentric to think that what a person thinks of one of my characters is actually directed at me. It'll be only as stressful and uncomfortable as I let it be, and for that I have to be realistic and balance I won't always have control, I do have tools to curate my experience, I'm the one who decided to go public first. The other half may be responsible, but it is also my responsability too