It's not. At all. Just longer.
Hating tropes is really just about reoccuring patterns/trends that people see often that they find annoying, tbh 
Sort of like how there's a reoccuring pattern/trend among creatives to discuss what tropes they hate, and you find that trend annoying 
It's not the trend of hating them that bothers me, it's that it is inherently mean to announce it. It can hurt people. Someone (especially new and self-conscious creators) might be writing a story that's quite decent which uses certain tropes, but they see this sort of talk and it makes them feel like their work is now bad because it contains certain tropes.
I know it seems a bit much but I guess I'm sensitive to the protection and nurturing of new creators. Maybe because I'm old or something.
It just feels like unnecessary bullying to me, even if bullying isn't the intention. It's like saying "I hate the violin, it sounds so awful" and maybe a discussion about it in a music forum. And then the kid who plays the violin now feels bad.
I agree that sometimes the discussion about hated tropes can be rather unproductive and toxic due to its nature. Especially when it is focused on dunking a specific series or creators, without explaining what kind of execution makes that tropes bad. It sounds more like something unsuited for a meaningful discussion and rather a rant/vent thread.
However, if the kid who plays violin visits a thread titled "Instruments you dislike," they should expect if there is someone who happens to hate violin. If they don't want to hear people's bad opinions about instruments, there's a back button. If you cannot stand the idea of someone disliking your creation or what you do, I don't think you are ready to post it on or even being on the internet.
I get where you're coming from but I've seen this argument as an excuse so many times for negative behavior, I could go on forever about it.
"If you don't like it, don't look." But that's the same argument that often waters the seeds of negativity that frequently ruin entire communities, enable elitism and cliques, and generally offers nothing actually of value.
@candiedcotton @DasIstWunderblyat
Would you claim that is wrong to speak about disliking problematic tropes like the romanticization of abuse?
Yes.
For one, I believe the term "don't romanticize abuse" or whatever is wrong and severely generalizing, as well as something that frequently comes from an ableist viewpoint. As long as it's legal, people should write what they want, and there will be someone out there who will enjoy it.
I am not speaking about tackling abusive relationships in romance, i am talking about portraying abusive relationships in a positive light.......
And I'm fine with that. A lot of people do like Twilight. A lot of people like 50 Shades of Gray, or Beauty and the Beast, or Game of Thrones. All of which portray unhealthy and abusive relationships in various positive ways. It is not my place to police what people read or judge them for it. That's a very dangerous mentality to have.
People have the right to like or dislike anything. I would argue that trying to censor the expressions of dislike is counterproductive, specially in a forum that tackles topics involving writing where one could make a constructive critique by justifying why one dislike certain trope/s or their excecution......
Maybe other person may like it and that's fair, here people come to express opinions, not to assert dominance or whatever........
If people get offended over other people's tastes, that's their problem.
I'm not trying to censor anyone, I'm saying that people shouldn't care what tropes others do and don't like and should write what they enjoy. I've said that attacking tropes doesn't give us anything productive or positive and in turn can actually be harmful to the community and especially new and/or young creators who are more susceptible to that judgement. And all of these things are true, do you not agree? Whether you continue the behavior is on you. I won't try and stop you. I'm just speaking what I believe to be true, and trying to be thoughtful of the many people who come to communities such as this.
I get where you are coming from......Personally i see tropes as tools that can make a story worst or better depending on how they are executed.
Most examples here will probably use cases involving poorly implemented tropes. Nobody here is hating on tropes per se.
Some users here already mentioned that more than the trope itself the issue often comes with a poor implementation, so i guess this conversation is becoming constructive for OP or any new writer who sees this topic.
Yes, luckily we have a really good, healthy community here with a lot of extremely intelligent and kind people. So there's quite a lot of wonderful advice, even when the door is open for the bad stuff to leak in.
Pretty much agree with @Freemints30
It sounds like your looking to see what people hate "the most" and actively trying to avoid it but I can promise you that at least one person here will say they hate "liers revealed" because it never makes sense. Or "hot abusive relationships" because it only gives people the worng impression of romance- BUT they totally like a piece of media with these tropes in it and they'll either hand wave it saying "not the same" or "doesn't bother me"
I know plenty of people who say they hate the "chosen one" trope but absolutely love Harry Potter. This is fine. Phycologicaly what's happening is people prob see one trope WAY more saturated in their lives then other tropes and as such it can be a "familiarity breeds contempt" situation. They also just might not be THINKING of these tropes in the action of comedy medias when they show up because it's not the "romance genre"
We're also sometimes here just to vent rather then state a true fact "bully to lover" annoys the fuck out of me but I'm never gonna tell you not to write your own story if that's the story your inspired to do- and you SHOULDN'T stop writing it just because half the people in a threat say they hate it or find it unappealing unless your actively writing a story for those 5 people.
Write the story you want to write. The better question would be which trope you want to have in your romance and see what people think it looks like when it's done worng or correctly and pile that information. Your still gonna get mixed opinions but you'll have a better understanding of which audience your trying to appeal to.
Either way to answer the question I don't really like the romance genre to begin with x3 so the genre itself "annoys" me. Don't know if it's cause I'm ace or because I'm just very sick of people being super horny for each other within the first few moments of meeting each other but everyone everywhere always just feels WAY too horny
Behavior that would be considered sexual harassment if the perpetrator was either average looking or ugly. Good looks are everything.
What do you mean by "good looks are everything"?
Good looks justify sexual harrassment for you as a reader?
I don´t mean to ask this question in a judgemental way, I think
that a lot of readers think that way
I've been on both sides of the coin. I've felt hurt by proxy when listening to people hating on things, but that also included people hating on people who hate on things, which previously made me constantly worry about what I can or cannot say and whether people would get mad at me for ribbing something in good humor.
I agree that "don't like, don't look" is often used to silence people who are trying to tell you something you said was hurtful, but I think it's only bad if it's impossible to determine whether you like something before you look at it.
For instance, if someone reads a book, dislikes it and criticizes it for being poorly written, that's an invalid use of 'don't like, don't look' because there's no way the critic could've known it was poorly written before reading it. On the other hand, if someone writes a scene with a graphic description of gore and tags it with 'content warning: contains gore', and then someone reads it and says it's bad because gore is bad, then it's like ... you knew it was something you don't like, so ... don't look?
I guess in general, I don't think the best way to prevent people from getting hurt is to forbid people from saying hurtful things. No-one gets to decide if something someone said 'offers nothing of value'. I think it's enough if we're upfront about what we're going to say and warn people if we know we're going to be negative, so people can easily avoid it :]
I meant to say that realistically, good looks give you an unfair advantage not just in romance but also in life in general.
Good looks can give you a lighter criminal sentence:
https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2003/05/13/853637.htm1
Good looks also help advance your career
Being born good looking rolls out the red carpet to higher self confidence and having a more abundant life in general
Sexual harassment and all other crimes should be punished EQUALLY regardless of the looks level of the guilty.
Thanks for clearing that up and (sorry for off topic) yes I think good looks give you an unfair advantage,
as other superficial things too. In some cases good looks or the other superficial attributes can mean
a disadvantage when people get reduced to the good looks for example.
I´m in the entertainment business all my life, charisma is really important.
With other attributes I mean age or if you are male or female etc.
But whatever you look at, you can always find disadvantages
