4 / 19
Oct 2020

Hello everyone! Here is the player character for a video game I want to make! Her name is Ava Graves and the game starts with her having just been turned into a vampire. The second full body is her right after her first feeding on a human (something she didn't want & she wasn't in control of her body). The first two expressions are also from that moment; the second being during and the first right after she realize what she has done.

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[Please consider liking the 3 Instagram posts I made for this Character Sheet :heart::heart:here2, here1 & here1)

Some more info: she's 21, she's transgender, 1m72. She's quite shy and has huge crush on her childhood bestfriend, Benjie Santiano. He's a 20 yo transgender Filipino man.

Please give me some opinions on her! I would also love to answer questions! :heart:

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    Oct '20
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    Oct '20
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I love the design! Especially the anatomy of the wings and I can't wait to see where take the game.

She's really cute. My only critique is that something in her design feels a bit busy. Even more so once you've got the blood, it's really hard to make out her face. Maybe her face gets lost in her hair too much?

This is especially on the full body shots. It's hard to focus somehow... does that make sense?
I'm not sure what would help... maybe adjusting the eye color to add more contrast? Bring her hair away from her face (just a little bit)?

Thank you for giving a critique :purple_heart::purple_heart:

For the blood, I don't plan on her always being covered in it haha Plus, I tried to put the smears/transfers in logical places for her. For example, she always touch her hair, even worse when she's anxious(like after accidently killing/almost killing :eyes: someone). She's also always crossing her arms for those same reason. Lastly, she tried to wipe her hands on her pants! I tried to show a little bit of personality and tell some sort of story 🥰

As for her hair, I kind of did the same unintentionally? She uses her hair to hide her face and also plays with it all the time so it's almost always ruffled?

I also wanted to keep her a little bit plain as she doesn't like to be stared at. But I could make her eyes a little more vibrant so they stand out more :blush:

Also thanks to @lauragarcia511 and @The_Book_Keeper for the kind comments!

She's adorable! :slight_smile:

With the wings I think they could be a tad larger, and have two bends (like a wrist and an elbow). It'll make them easier to draw in the long run as you can look at your own arms to see how they bend etc. :+1:

Thank you! I will draw them this way in the future 🥰 i wasn't sure about their size, if I should make them bigger. I will noe :slight_smile:

Hi! Tried to apply your comment on the Character Concept for another Vampire character!


..
This is the first version that I drew for Ava

This one is directly copied from the image you showed me!

This one is how I tried to change the shape of the 2nd one so it looks more like the 1st.

I’m not sure which one I prefer :thinking:

Ooooh! I really like the last one. Perhaps you don't need the knuckles down the length (to make it easier to draw etc.) :blush::heart:

This is just my own personal nit pick but does she HAVE to have giant gaping holes in her pants at her knees? Like, natural holes in jeans leave threads and shit and usually don't get that big above the knee. And then why is nothing else got a giant gaping hole, like the sweatshirt?

I feel like the shoes are a missed opportunity for color - like a pop of red to match the eyes. Socks too, also don't need to be white. Heck you even could make the laces have a color or design.

One more nit pick, I'm not sure whyyyyyy this character is wearing mom jeans and then a sweatshirt that exposes their stomach, if they don't want to be the object of attention? Like most shirts would at least go a bit lower on the stomach line. If you want to make a sheet that shows the clothing and how it layers together - that's a seperate kind of character sheet :thumbsup:

I'm also not sold on the eyelashes lines below the eyes, if that's what they are? They either are stylized lashes, which I'd make a bit more.. triangular or something? Or they're like... Frankenstein's monster kind of stitches which I don't think you're going for.

I also think the wings - while it's a concept stage - could be developed more to look perhaps less generic?
Take for example this character here (from Guardian Tales). she has horns and wings (lower on her body because she's a succubus, not a vampire), but her horns are clearly all stylized to be harmonious within each other and look less generic.


Summary

For the holes in the jeans, I have seen jeans like this! And they're made like this? So the shirt doesn't have to have holes too!

As for the shoes, this was addressed on another forum! I'm not sure why I didn't think of this when I was choosing the colors, but the person in that thread proposed the pink/peach of the shirt, which I would prefer to the red, because it would blend with the blood. For the socks, are you talking about the second character I've shown? :sweat_smile: Bc Ava doesn't have lace in her design.

Not explained here, but I did touch on it in that other forum here1, but the shirt was a gift from her best friend Benjie. So not something she would have chosen herself, even if she likes it a lot! And I'm not sure where you live or spend your internet time, but a crop top and highrise jeans are pretty normal to see worn together :sweat_smile: Also, I'm also someone who hates attention too, I have social anxiety(something I decided Ava has haha), and I will sometimes wear something bc I really love it, even though it's eyecatching! I will be anxious about it all day tho! So it's not weird for her to be wearing that :slight_smile: But also, Benjie makes her feel safe so :blush:

This is a Character Concept sheet! Not a Character Turnaround or something that will be used to animate or create her 3D model(not her final one at least). Which is why the wings were sketched that way! This isn't final! (I even changed the way I did the wing for another character's concept sheet) I wanted them to look like bat wings tho, so the newest sketches are better :+1: I still haven't thought of the colours or how I want the texture to be like.

Finally, they're eyelashes :sweat_smile: You probably didn't look at my Instagram, bc it's something that I do often! (Not that exaggerated tho) My art style is clearly really stylized tho, especially the face! Not sure how I will translate them into a 3d model, but I'm far from that stage haha

These are clearly white laces and pretty plain socks.

And when I mean you could design the shoes a different way, outside of color or the laces being like a rainbow pattern (there's tons of different lace styles kids use that aren't solid colors, like how lanyards are all different) you can also change the lacing itself.

i thought you were talking about the fabric :cold_sweat: but this can be an idea! i will think about it

Not knowing what genre the videogame is it's hard to give a good critique, but still, I have a feeling that the hair covers the face a bit too much. Even if it's intentional by the character's character (NPI), it makes her face hard to read, and in game itself it will probably be even less discernible. Probably would dial it back a bit, or do the reverse and dial it up to eleven and let the hair cover up even more. Maybe that even the whole face but the eyes are just hair! X)
On a sidenote, I find it really curious that she and her crush essentially genderflipped, if I had read that correctly.