What have you had to go through to make your story?

Quite a lot, this will be long, I'm so sorry, I talk a lot xD What today is my comic started in the end of 2008 as a death note fanfic when I was 12/13. I was already a depressed kid, I just didn't know about it. And writing was my refugee. Writing and drawing was all I had. I started this fanfic after my best friend at the time showed me what BL was and I was mesmerized, I was like "what magnificent genre is that, why is this so good?", it was love at fisrt sight, so I had to make my own too. Right there, that girl created a monster, I never stoped creating BL afterwards xD

2009 I changed schools, my depression got way worse. I spent almost 6 months not talkings to anyone in school, you see, I have social anxiety and I got to know it only in adult life, so I spent all my timing there drawing, writing novels (my fanfic and others), and reading manga. A teacher that was kinda of a tutor of the class even pushed me to the side and asked me what was happening, why I had no friends, if it was needed to call my parents to bring me to a terapist to help me go through all this. That day I cried a lot after that talk (yeah, in class even xD). Eventually I was accepted in a group and I got friends, I'm friends to them to this day, so yay.

I don't rememeber when, I decided to transform my fanfic to an original, so I rewrote everything, recreated all the characters. At this point I was in high school already, and dealing with depression, suicide ideation, but I can't remember much of this time of my life. I remember I tended to isolate myself a lot. And made what today is my best friend online, which may be important in the future.

After school is where the chaos begins and my mental health declines. After school I stoped writing novels for good. I also stoped drawing because of depression. I was pressured to make a university that I didn't want to do, so my mental health was fucked. I kept going to uni for 4.5 years. I dissociated a lot, so I don't remember a thing about those years. Yeah, today I know I have dissociative identity disorder, what makes my recolection of things really foggy, specially traumatic events. What made me stop going to uni was a suicide atempt, that no one at home knew about (even though we all live together lol), and that best friend I talked about saved my life talking to my mom about it. So that's when I started my treatment, finally. It was 2017 already at this point. I stoped going to university altogether, but I didn't start drawing again 'til something tragic happened...

In 2018 I started working with my mom in her beauty salon. I was making my treatment with my psycologist. Things would get better. Until my father died. It was chaotic, it was really early morning and my mom called me to tell me my father had a heart atack and it was bad, and it was for me to be ready to wake up my sister, and I cried after we hang up. But after that I didn't cry anymore. Everyone, literally everyone kept telling me to be strong for my mother and my sister, cuz I'm the oldest. No one cared for me and what I felt. That day I took all the pills we had at home, in the funeral I was so out of it I don't remember a thing. After that, my dad had some money at the bank, and my mom gave me and my sister our parts. With that money, I bought an ipad. That's when I started drawing again. About 7 months after my dad's death.

I kept drawing here and there, not thinking about coming back to write novels again. My mental health was unstable, I had a couple more suicides atempts in the meanwhile. Until 2020 came. I was reading a lot of webcomic for a while now, and I finally thought: I want to make one. What I was going to talk about though? And I rememberd that story I had that I loved, that one that borned as a fanfic and acompanied me through my teens. But as it was it wouldn't work anymore, I wanted to make it more real, more personal. So I though: why not make my character have depression as I do? I can tell my experience with it. So it began. I started writing the script with the passion I had as a teen, like I never had stopped writing. And in starting it made wonders to my mental health, omg I can't even begin with it. It was awesome. But then, the end of 2020 came....

I don't really remember what happened, again, dissociation. I just remember that in january 2021 I was so bad, my mental heath was so so bad, I had a crises and my body just couldnt fuction properly. And my mother took me to my psychistrist. She made me go outpatient in a mental hospital. And I'm still to this day, yeah, almost 2 years, I'm totally unstable, my depression comes and goes so fast and so deeply and it affects my work so much, so so much... I can't work anymore, so I just make my comics nowadays. Obviously I have good days, but I barely can work on my comic sometimes, and that's my passion project. I'm like disebled for now, ultill it all goes away.

I try to use my experience with my mental health in my comic to make it real, to make it representative of how chaotic it is and stuff like that. And even though sometimes I can't even draw a single panel because of my mental health, I keep trying to work on it for the few people who reads it and believes in my story, I can't give up now, I'm working on it for 2.5 years now. If you count since the begining, I'm working on it for 14 years. I can't stop now. I went through a lot with my mind and this story is still in it, so it's worth trying to tell it.

I'm sorry for the wall of text and thank you for those who read it xD It's hard trying to remember things because of DiD but the key things I think I can.

Currently I'm going through pain from a torn tendon in my shoulder while drawing.

I do quite a bit of lifting in my carer job so it's starting to take its toll methinks.
Can still draw at least but have to take more breaks.
Tempted to train myself to draw with my left arm

My story as Crow's Worth started out as a Naruto parody comic that I started writing back in 2005-2006. But over time I sort of distanced myself from Naruto and tried to develop my own story. Growing up, I dealt with bad anxiety as well as childhood depression and a difficult relationship with food, which sort of got reflected into the story.

Around 2010-ish, I was planning on turning it into a webcomic but sort of felt like I wasn't "good enough" to pull it off. So I sort of shelved it.

In 2013/14, I was really depressed and felt lost. I ended up cracking open an old notebook with the comic and it ended up cheering me up. I then was determined to actually go through with making it a series. Tho I also realized I needed to rewrite a lot of it and overhaul the lore. There were things in the original comic that were so stupid they just had to go.

I have been working on the series on and off since 2014. Similar to before, I do add some personal things in, like my struggle with my health. I also feel like I improved a lot since I started. I do plan to eventually wrap up the series soon.

I'm gonna leave out a lot cause it involves a lot of other people's personal details and that's not cool

but my current story isn't my first story so I'm not sure if I should start there
or if I should start with my older stories. they were made around the same time-ish anyway

I had to drop out of high school in 2010 because I was having seizures from stress. one of my teachers was stalking me and I lost a lot of friends to this. Art was all I really had at this point. in my mind art was the only thing that wouldn't leave me, so I had to draw every day.
I was going through depression and suicidal ideation but I wasn't aware of it so I buried it deep inside.
I created my first webcomic which did decently on DA but I had no idea about writing so it went on permanent hiatus while I practiced writing. which is where my current story came from. My current story scared me when I first wrote it, the fact that it could come out of my imagination, made me anxious to write so I put it on hold "till I was an adult" I don't think I knew back then that I was just venting.
in 2012 I ended up moving and losing contact with what few friends I had left. (and I hadn't realized my old friends were horrible people) I'd see them a few times a year if anything at this point I mostly just talked to people online. Shorty after my 18th birthday I got asked out by ""someone"" who was a functioning alcoholic and I said yes cause everyone told me to.
I spent a lot of time holed up in my room just trying to pass the time watching TV

2013 is when I met my current boyfriend (LDR) who encouraged me to keep working on my stories, cause until that point I had just been sketching concepts but not really working on them anymore.

My turtle passed away, she was always very sickly but I had her since I was 9 so she was supposed to live longer than I was

And I'm gonna be honest I don't remember much of this year

2014
my dog passed away, and just a few months later my mom decided the best way to cope would be to get a new one, also to get birds and snakes that she's not going to take care of but that I have to take care of. My suicidal ideations became LOUDER, I would occasionally go for walks outside in the middle of the night just to see if my family noticed or cared and they didn't, I'd be gone for hours by the ocean, every time just wondering why I didn't have the guts to drown myself.

that was also the year of the last convention I went to. I got harassed by a drunk homeless man grabbing my hair and telling me I look pretty (in front of a lot of people) and everyone forgot it was my birthday despite knowing me for like a decade. then they act like it's my fault??? That's when I decided to stop talking to them to this day the only person I talk to now is my sister, and even that's hard.

2015
this year nearly every day was just a constant mental breakdown, i'd be crying all the time I eventually had one so big that happened to be on easter that my mom signed me up for a therapist but I was on a waitlist for a year.

My dad started sending his stalker letters in the mail again and he found me and my sisters social media so we had to delete them

2016
I overdosed on benzodiazepines- not on purpose but for those that don't know if you take them a lot your body gets used to them and they don't work so you want more. and I had been taking them since I was 11 without a prescription.

We moved again, we were supposed to buy a really big house for the whole family but my uncle stole all the money from my grandfather's will so we ended up getting an apartment that was in a shit neighborhood with black mold and leaky pipes

2017
Finally got a therapist, after a few months there I told her about the suicidal ideations and I opted to go to the hospital, by choice.
I moved in with my grandmother a day afterward while the day I came back from the hospital my mom was packing to move to Florida and she ended up selling our dog to her friend.
living with her was only slightly easier cause I knew I wasn't gonna be homeless and I wasn't gonna starve where mom would steal my money and forget to feed me.

I saved up some money so I could go to California and visit my boyfriend and that would be the thing from 2017- 2019 when I would go there and come back and eventually around new years 2020 after he moved to AZ I moved in with his family and we found a place together. And while I'm still in therapy and the suicidal thoughts come back every now and then I'm doing loads better. And honestly writing all this down I'm kinda proud I got this far.
when you only see yourself in the present, it's hard to see just how much progress you've made.

well i started the story maybe 15 years ago as just something cool inspired at the time from world events and characters i made up as conglomerations of parts from more well know charcters, at the time gundam wing was on so there was that to,alot has happened in the last 7 years tough as my grandpa passed and lilttle mroe then 2 years ago my mom passed away as well as two pet dogs that same year , those are just the 2 bggets moments there wre some good and bad intersperced in that 7 year run but not worth anythign really

What I had to go through is probably less deep than everyone else.
But when I was very young and starting comics, I used to be afraid of drawing extreme body poses, angles, and backgrounds. I happen to be very unmotivated if I have to draw them.
I know they're essential in making comics, so I have to suck it up and do it, although I have never liked the result. I asked my sisters to help me sometimes, but they also had things to do, so I couldn't ask them to help me all the time.
I slowly learn about the alternatives to doing the things I hate, and I find out I don't have to come up with poses and angles with my brain. I learned about references and apps to help me create those. Now i'm still struggling a bit, but to produce good content, I got to keep going and improve myself!