What is the worst line you’ve ever written, dialogue or prose?

[InfiniteLine]

For sure. That's a great example of a definitely no-no. It depends on the situation, the pacing, etc. A lot of times for me it's a show vs tell decision and it ends up being more efficient and less distracting to the core of the scene to just 'tell' and toss an adverb in there.

The ones I tend to struggle with in first drafts are 'said' modifiers. You're not supposed to too frequently use things besides said, but you're also supposed to avoid adverbs, but you also can't always have an extra sentence showing the tone with which the words were spoken either.

[candiedcotton]

It's a delicate thing for sure and everyone does it differently, but in the end I just think people should think more about how they use adverbs and when, and if those adverbs are adding or taking away from the scene.

[candiedcotton]

Oh man, I know that feeling. I've dealt with it a ton myself.

For showing emotion, one thing I've tried to do is think of what physical action could showcase the emotions that go with the words being spoken. For example:

"Don't read my stuff!" She said angrily, taking the book back.
"Don't read my stuff!" She snapped, taking the book back.
She snatched the book from him, "don't read my stuff!"

It's all the same thing, but how it's written conveys a different level of impact for each one.

[InfiniteLine]

Definitely going to refer back to this example as I do my adverb editing passes going forward!

[TheLemmaLlama]

Probably somewhere on my harddrive, waiting to be edited But out of stuff I've recently published and have no intention of editing, I'd probably give it to this line (it's pretty awkward :'D)

[Hayka]

"It's not like it matters"
I've used this so much in my main character's monologues that it feels like a redundant placeholder I put...like "insert thought" so I'm changing it up. I felt terrible when I noticed it

[Hayka]

and if you're talking about "worst lines that trash characters say that will make you hurl" I have one of those too...
"Girls are like pimples; the smaller the better."

so ummm...this is a line

[Katzalcoatl]

How about:

"I have dedicated my life studying the nature you've created. I beleive it's beauty is something worth understanding."

It would be a simple edit, keeping the same idea, while making it less hawkward.

[harlan]

I entered a bad story writing contest once and my favorite and worst line was:

“He held his shield before him like a shield.”

[LostKelp]

Everytime I see someone die of cringe from shit they have said, I vow to say it again to inflict second hand cringe on everyone around me. I will now be saying, "clutch" often.

[JaveCraze]

those don't really bug me but "he let go a breathe he didn't realize he held" shoots me dead in the spot. I just hate that one for an irrational reason

[candiedcotton]

lol, ah yes, the classic "why is my face turning blue and I'm getting dizzy-- oh, my bad, I forgot to breathe."

[Nugtown]

"My home is my castle." I looked at the boreds of wood beside the windows, and through the light that shone in, a bed in the corner of the room.

I wrote this when I was 13, and when I came back to read this gold mine recently I was actually thrown on the floor for 30 straight minutes asphyxiating from laughter because my SO just read it and said

"bored"

[TheLemmaLlama]

Thanks for the suggest; I'm not sure if it'll work in context though, since the character is basically in the middle of an impassioned rant, so I want the line to keep up that sense of energy/'momentum' But yeah, I don't really wanna go back and edit this project anyway; your suggestion was definitely an improvement on the awkwardness though

[system]

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