What Keeps the Fire Alive

[Christy_Oshima]

Hello everyone!

I was just curious for something.
You see, the novel i'm writing and publishing here on Tapas is perhaps the first project that i work on with a certain flow. That alone is big cause it is hard to maintain a consistency while having ADHD. However, there are times that when i am at my lowest, the first thought that hits me is to throw everything away, give up and stop trying that hard. Honestly, the past couple of months this thought has crossed my mind more than once, yet i find myself standing up and using those shadows to help me create. What keeps me motivated even then? It might sound crazy and insane, but one particular character pops up and offers me a helping hand, reminding me why i started writing in the first place. He is one of my most beloved characters and always keeps the fire in me alive.

So, what is your light during the darkness? To whom it belongs the voice that tells you not to give up?

[Spectorium_1]

Unfortunately, its my inner asianess, because I grew up in a high expectation family, so not finishing something was a big no no.
But when I'm about to give up, the character I think of Sung Jin Woo, specifically Beru from solo levelling. Probably cause it was my first manhwa and light novel series. Unfortunately, the manhwa doesn't show it, but Chugong takes the "bugs dont give up" to another level.

[TroyVSTheWorld]

Unfortunately, its my inner asianess, because I grew up in a high expectation family, so not finishing something was a big no no.

You know, as an American, my favorite japanese term is "Ganbare", which roughly translates to "Let us commence work on this task and see it through to the finish"

[PapaDom]

Hatred.

...oh wait, comic making. Uhmmm... actually, it keeps me occupied by doing something I like instead of wasting my time all day.

[darthmongoose]

I'm self-aware enough to admit that part of why I like making webcomics more than long-form print comics is that I like putting up my work and getting an immediate response.

There are works I make purely for my own enjoyment and never share with anyone, which are nice because I don't need to maintain a schedule or anything. Those are usually in just prose format without illustrations. Comics are just so much work per page, I've never made a comic without aiming for an audience.

Generally if I want to actually get a project done (not for it just to be doodles or drabbles I chip away at now and then but will likely never complete), it needs to be part of my schedule and working towards a concrete goal, and ideally I need to be able to show it to people at intervals and be reassured that it was worth the work I put in. Every week I make two pages of Errant, I put them on Patreon and then a week later, they go up on Tapas, and then after finishing the first four chapters, I had enough to make a solid print book and enough readers to run a kickstarter for that. It's all about that momentum and habit for me.

[margodraws]

Yes to external validation lol. It's not the main reason to create, but it surely doesn't hurt.

Tbh though, I think just have a strong internal drive to create. If I go more than a few days without drawing, I get restless and crabby-- this has been true since I was a kid.

[BitterOath]

I don't aim to keep the fire alive, I aim to focus on improvement. And I'll never improve if I don't get the ugly drawings/writings out of my system. I do my best in the moment, so I can do better tomorrow.

Pros do this, too - I think there was a Simpsons writer who said that their best work started with awful writing. They would write whatever, sleep, and wake up with new eyes for their story. And this is something I consistently hear about any time I go looking for art and writing advice.

And ditto on the restlessness if I don't create for a couple of days. I'm on break right now, and I would much rather be working on comic pages. :''D

[VibrantFox]

"i can't quit coz who else is gonna write about my ocs" and various versions of that "do it for her/him/them" meme with these characters i've had for all these years along with a healthy amount of spite

but fr my biggest motivator is just the need to be able to share these stories that've been stuck in my head for years and to breathe life into these little brain people who've been with me forever. like i can enjoy relishing in their worlds thru daydreams and sketches but to put them out into the world and share em with other folks is the goal.

and while i'm always debating on whether spite is really the word i'm looking for there's part of me that wants to prove folks who i feel have doubted me or my ability or bits of myself that held doubt wrong. just to stand and say "Ha! screw you i can do the thing/i did do the thing!" pushes me forward because despite whatever seeds of fear or questioning anything or anyone tried to put in me the feeling triumph when overcoming that is just really satisfying

plus art has become this thing where if i'm not doing it for to long i get antsy so there's no way i can just cold turkey stop or quit because something in me will still drag me back

it also helps to think about all the things and people who've inspired me (especially those who're very close to me) so it's like not just for my own sake or the sake of proving doubters wrong but also to honor the me that was inspired by all these things and to hopefully do the same for others in inspiring them and even if not i can say i honored the wish of a me that existed in the past to make things like those folks who i admired and respected so much

[angie_draws_things]

I draw comics because it keeps me drawing something. Otherwise, I would probably be wasting my time on video games or drinking.

However, I also look at the number of readers and fret because I don't want to disappoint the growing number of readers, especially the ones who comment and interact with me regularly.

[KennethLopezJr921]

I cant really give up on my comic because I feel it would be pointless if I did. I've put 6 years of work into creating it and its one of the reasons why I wanted to become a professional artist. Not only would quitting be putting all of that hard work to waste, but I feel I wouldn't really have any drive as an artist. If you don't have any ambitions, is life truly worth living?

I wouldn't say its for external validation. I mostly see that as a bonus and side affect. For me, Crescent Blue and drawing in general is just a way for me to express myself. Hell, my series even started out as something for me to enjoy alone, only did I decide that sharing it with others couldn't hurt. If I was then I'd probably be having second thoughts about my series because how much I struggle to find an audience (hopefully soon tho 🤞) and Id be going insane over not putting out updates as quickly as my piers because of school. Plus, I sorta did that on my Instagram art account 2 years ago and that really fucked me up mentally and I don't wanna go through that again lol

[TheLemmaLlama]

Tbh I don't consider it bad for me personally if my 'fire' dies out. Because that would mean one of two things:

• Someone else has finally created the story I've always wanted to read, or said the things I want to say in the ways I want to say them. Basically, someone did my job for me!

• I've gotten over my emotional baggage to the extent that I no longer feel the need to dump said baggage in the form of a story.

As long as neither of these two things come to pass, I will continue to feel compelled to create.

Either way, I win.

[thepenmonster]

Motivation?

Alive?

...

I'm gonna have to go look those words up.

[nkapit]

I feel worse if I don’t

[Ordinaryaverageguy]

The fuel that feeds my fire is reader comments & likes; you know, the usual. Sometimes firewood is scarce.

[OohitsEli]

For me? Ironically, it's probably the fact that this comic is my special interest so autism is kinda the reason. I really like this story and the characters and wish to tell it and it makes me happy so I just continue, and if one day it doesn't make me happy then I'll take a break until motivation comes back because trust me it will lol

[system]

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