What's with all the romance gatekeeping these days?

[candiedcotton]

I feel like it's just getting worse and worse over the last year or two.

It's okay to write Disney romance. It's okay to write toxic relationships. It's okay to write smut. It's okay to write cutesy high school "will they won't they" themes.

Really. It's okay.

Why do we have these expectations? How is this any better than "video games make kids bad" or "two swan dads make kids gay" or whatever other crazy nonsense. Why does society worship GoT, which literally romanticizes rape and incest, but rapidly attacks some manga-esque romance with the perv x tsundere trope?

I don't get it. I don't like it. It feels snobbish, uppity, judgmental, condescending, and gatekeeping.

It's okay to not LIKE certain tropes and themes, but why is there so damn much ridicule against them?

And to get it out of the way, no, I'm not talking about romanticizing pedophilia or bestialities or whatever. But things happen in stories. A Handmaid's Tale is incredibly insightful, but I myself cannot read through it (and I've tried) because I genuinely cannot handle the assault scenes. But I don't judge people for reading it and I don't judge the powerful points it carries.

I dunno man. It's 5am.

[BlairFujin]

Yeah, for some reason we've got a real epidemy of people tying everyone's morality to the media they consume...

[candiedcotton]

Right, it's not just me seeing this?

I feel like it's absolutely everywhere lately. I've literally seen someone drop their work because they got comment-bombed about barely inappropriate touching. And even when the character was supposed to come off as a creep to begin with.

It just feels ridiculous.

I feel like we seriously need to ensure we do not support this kind of gatekeeping in this community or it's going to get out of hand fast.

[BlairFujin]

It's been rampant in fandom spaces for a while, genshin impact fandom being probably the best example with their pseudo-incest caused by mistranslation and schrodinger's adults you can't ship with anyone or you'll get called a pedophile
And about the person dropping their work - damn... I feel like I'm so lucky that those people seem to never come across Horny Hell (guess they're app only 'xD) and don't have to deal with kids calling me out for 1000 years wide age gap between immortal demons

[candiedcotton]

My partner is huge into Genshin so I vaguely know what you're talking about, lol.

I know one of the topics people really seem to hate on is teacher x student stuff, but one of the better animes I've seen in the last year had that exact theme. But it was so well done. This girl was completely in love with her teacher, and he actually kept trying to dissuade her. Much of the story revolves around her complex feelings as a teen and this teacher was really brilliant at handling it. She ends up finding him again a few years into adulthood and they do decide to date at that point, but it was all really wholesome.

[NickRowler]

Why does society worship [x] but rapidly attacks [y]?

Maybe these aren’t the same people???

It feels like you are trying to take all the opinions on the internet and sort of turning it into a monolith.

[candiedcotton]

It's an example because GoT is easily the most popular tv show in the west. I have met countless people who loved GoT but then turned around and hated on the aforementioned tropes and themes.

I actually made a reddit poll about it six months or so ago, lol.

[NickRowler]

I don’t watch GoT, not for me. So I don’t have much to say.

My guess however is that most people do not enjoy the show because they are into SA or other taboo things. And I am pretty sure there are people who like GoT yet dislike those parts.

It is also not fair comparing it to YA lit which is recommended for a younger audience.

[candiedcotton]

That's not a fair argument.

That's proposing that people who read taboo topics are into those things themselves IRL, which goes back to "reading about two dad swans isn't gonna make your kid gay". It's nonsensical. I know of an ongoing webcomic that's really popular which has a hugely toxic relationship, and the comments from readers are almost entirely all about hoping the MC escapes the relationship and hating on the abuser.

YA is still adult. Adult is adult, no?

[Lucky_Foot]

I can understand how you feel. It can be frustrating to see certain tropes and themes get ridiculed while others are celebrated. It's important to remember that everyone has their own preferences and opinions when it comes to media. What one person enjoys, another might not. It's okay to write what you want to write and read what you want to read, as long as it's not harmful to others. At the end of the day, it's all about personal choice and respect for others' choices.

I see your internal clock is messed up like mine XD

[candiedcotton]

That's exactly how I feel. It just seems there's a lot of completely unfair judgment going around and it really bothers me.

Yeaaah. I've had insomnia ever since my teens and sleep about every 20 hours or so, lol. My schedule has never been normal.

[NickRowler]

YA is for 12-18. Yes adults can still read them but they are still for a younger audience than GoT.

[BlairFujin]

Then why is it called like this? The name suggests that it should be more for 18 to mid twenties, not for teens. (I'm genuinely asking)

[candiedcotton]

I honestly don't know the ratings so that's fair.

But media with adult themes is usually rated for adults, not kids. So I still don't see the point of your argument.

[Lucky_Foot]

ouch... I recently quit my job, and now my body doesn't know how to handle not being inside a bright store.

My body be like

[candiedcotton]

I assumed that too. Ratings are weird though.

Either way, it doesn't matter because you aren't going to have adult themes in kids' media. That stuff tends to be heavily controlled.

[NickRowler]

I don’t think we should have young teens be reading romance stories that romanticize SA. People out there who are adults can enjoy adult media with darker themes while thinking that YA shouldn’t be normalizing those things.

I am trying to say that just because people like GoT or other adult media doesn’t mean they romanticize SA. Your OP made it seem like people who like GoT aren’t allowed to criticize other media.

[NickRowler]

I didn’t name the genre but when someone says YA books, they mean books for teenagers.

Young adult fiction

[candiedcotton]

I'm pretty sure sex scenes, either consensual or not, are not permitted in media made for kids. At least not in most modern countries.

No, I'm saying there's a hypocrisy. People who enjoy GoT presumably do not get off on SA. People who enjoy comics that HAVE SA do not presumably get off on said SA. It should be fair across the board.

I'm also fairly certain most teens have the same level of access to GoT as they do to adult comics.

[micniactoon]

Nah, young adult is starting from 18 for sure. Nothing "adult" from 12-17.