Who else thinks this trope is awful?

[joannekwan]

A boyfriend character like that needs an equally strong love interest to balance him, match him and give as good as they get without crossing into abuse territory

This pretty much is The Phantom Thread, where the love interest over the course of the movie learns about the main guy and figures how to handle him and they end up in this weird relationship that's kind of screwy but entertainingly so and the two end up complementing each other pretty well.

(Side note: It wasn't presented as a sweeping romantic romance either.)

[JoshRaid]

No, I genuinely don't have any experience with tsundere as a trope, I just thought I understood it based on what I heard about it.

[snailienz]

Hot take but what they WISH they wrote was "hot man is super protective and cares about his significant other" hotter take, bl is a LARGE culprite of this same damn thing and I hate it.

[HGohwell]

the two end up complementing each other pretty well.

I think this is the most important thing write any couple. If they don't compliment each other, what's the point in them?

One of my favourite odd but very entertaining couples that could have fallen into abusive but actually didn't was a niche manga that told the villain's side of the anime. And these two fucked up former child soldiers were sadistic cold commanding planner and sniper who cries at movies about animals and the energetic, book dumb, womanizing combat specialist with good instincts. And their relationship, while could have fallen into controlling from the more obviously dominant sniper character, but balances it with a lot of "because my gut says so" being right and an equal amount of "yeah I know you're trying to be protective but I'm gonna do my thing anyway" and in the end the seemingly softer character being the one very much in control and just letting the other do their thing because they trusted each other when it came down to it and it was fantastic and a mess and incredibly fun to read and I wish I could remember it's name.

[Shredder]

Wait... Hang on... Jormungand? I loved that one!

[HGohwell]

Nope, never even heard of that but if it's got the same premise I'm sold on it already, time to go hunt it down.

[Shredder]

Same sort of idea, it follows an arms dealer and her group of bodyguards, her newest addition to her group of bodyguards is a young child soldier who the story focuses on.

[colorgoat]

I wish we can have a conversation about how bad and fetishy m/m can get with tropes like this that can be legitimately harmful instead of just going "ughhh too much bl" every month, which doesn't help at all either

[Shredder]

I'm not into BL and I doubt I will be in the future, but is it really that bad? My preconception of it has always been kinda "two men showing a sweet side to one another"

[snailienz]

True! I actually am more upset by the fact that so MUCH bl includes tropes that stereortype mlm as predatory or promiscuous (especially on the "top" side, bc holy shit if your top acts like that stab him????hello????)

[Seaby]

This actually reminds me of how Killing Stalking does the abusive lover trope 'right'.
As in, the possessive love interest is a literal serial killer, and the MC is deranged enough to forgive him after he breaks his legs to keep him from running away (and a plethora of other terrible things). It exemplifies these negative traits to their extremes and doesn't try to pretend it's cute or desirable, it's unapologetic psychological horror.

[rajillustration]

one of my biggest peeves with the trope (which is bad in itself) is that it forces the author to write themselves into a wall--how do they write that this character changed when the character is in fact unable to change? I dunno either, author, good luck with that.

[Seaby]

Especially when they decide to give up and give their characters a personality transplant. Change takes time, it's not possible for them to wake up one day and realize how much of a jerk they've been and instantly stop being heartless.

[rajillustration]

Lol yes, the number of stories I've read and watched where the problematic characters all walk into therapy and then three weeks later are like "I'm better now!"

lol that's not how therapy works.

[indagold]

If you're gonna do a story like that, at least make him look like this

[colorgoat]

I mean, there's tons of content that's sweet and genuine like that!! Which makes people putting down all bl super annoying (thinly-veiled homophobia aside).

There's just a lot of creepy stuff out there, too, especially fan content from what I've personally seen. Weird abusive tropes, pushing gender roles, etc etc...

[somekh]

Laughing because uhhh. Toxic boyfriend romance tropes are a product of straight culture. It’s normal and acceptable and even encouraged to marry someone you’ll be miserable with if they bring home the bread. My mom went through one failed marriage and is now with some awful shithead because he’s wealthy. Not that she isn’t also an awful shithead.

These tropes enforce that a relationship =/= love. A relationship is for reproduction lol

[azzy-m]

Yo, I love that guy! I got into his content because of his Fifty Shades reviews. Good stuff.

[indagold]

Bruh I see this same mentality within the lgbt community all the time it's not a straight thing, it's a relationship thing

[CosmicLeon]

I really dislike that trope, because I think it reinforces the idea that "this is what women want.' I activity avoid stories like that because I think they are toxic not ok. Often times the issue is brushed off, and please tell me how many of these (usually) women leave these relationships for their own mental well being rather than developing Stockholm syndrome. As a woman myself, this kind of stories really make me depressed and angry because of the normalization of toxic behavior in these types of stories. Do toxic relationships happen? yes. I actually want to explore toxic relations ships in my comic (i know my comic in not a romance one, but it is going to be a side plot), and show that it is not ok. (regardless of gender)