No, I can't take offense to legit criticism and concern! 
So, first, let me say this: I changed my genre three times. I started with fantasy, because it's a fantasy story. However, there are romantic relationships that form the core of the story. So I switched to romance. But I don't write romances like the 'romance' genre normally dictates. So that didn't work. Then I was advised that, if I have a gay relationship at the core of my story, I should categorize it as BL because of the algorithm and how people find stories. So I went with that. I still wonder if I should switch it back to fantasy...we'll see. I'm not particularly comfortable with saying this story fits into ONE genre...but algorithms, am I right?
Now, as far as BL is concerned, algorithm was part of it, but I am going to include some of the beats of a BL story, namely:
- Romantic tension
- Confusion over sexuality and attraction
- Dramatic events keeping the couple apart
- An outside person who wants to end the couple for their own selfish reasons.
However, I want to use these beats not just because they create dramatic tension, but because these tropes do have a basis in reality. I don't want to have a "Don't be with me - I'm too DARK and EDGY and BROKEN!" moment that ends with their partner just loving them more and being CONVINCED they can change him. I don't want dark, edgy, and broken to be seen as desirable traits in a partner. In reality, there are people out there with poor communication skills. People who are depressed and become abusive to their partners as a result. People who push others away and are, in fact, 'broken.' I want those people in my book, and I want to show how those people can ACTUALLY grow from their pain. Anyone who doesn't grow doesn't get a happy ending. And just like in reality, some characters you will think are lost causes will suddenly understand where they screwed up, while others who have such potential will just...waste it.
Basically, I want to take those tropes and deal with them in a realistic, healthy way. I like a story that starts out in confusion, feeling like you're entering an entirely new world and nothing makes sense, and then making sense of it in your own way by the end. Growing as a person as you change to cope with your surroundings. There are BL tropes that have the potential to demonstrate that - I want to exploit that potential 