For all of the below, story-wise it's not my thing. Otherwise...
@WhiskeyClone The first thing I noticed was that these are pictures of pages in a book. It's best to scan your pages. Sometimes you have to work with what you've got, but if nothing else a straight-on photo would be less distracting.
Second, demanding the reader read right to left is a bit of a pet peeve for me. Unless it's being adapted from japanese, there's no reason for it except to be pedantic. Be your own artist. You don't have to lean on tradition to tell a good story.
The art feels a little careless. I can see that you have an eye for comics and art in general, so the messiness comes across as laziness. Get out your ruler, take your time on the lettering and panel borders, and don't settle for 'close enough' on the anatomy. Study up.
With that said, your panel composition is actually beautiful. Like, above average. The watercolor coloring works, and the writing is good too. Keep that up, because I think those are THE hardest things for new comic creators and you've got it in the bag. When you have sharpened up your linework and figure drawing a little, it's really gonna shine.
@sc101 First, that stretchy arm with all the cords is super cool.
The art seems fine. Mostly for me it's the writing- the dialogue is super wordy. Maybe edit and revise a couple times before putting it in?
Oh, and let your art tell the story! No need to explain what's happening. If church bells are ringing, draw it the best your can, put your sound effects, then trust your reader to figure it out. Don't use the asterisk thing as a crutch.
Keep going. Practice makes perfect.