"Why won't you read my comic?" A thread for getting honest reader first impressions

[muricio]

Your comic had a nice cliffhanger!
I think the pace was too short. Maybe make one page out of two... but it seems you don't have much time to to much at a time! Keep going, it's interesting! I am expecting to know what will happen (subscribed!)

If I hadn't chose to read your comic (the thread intent), maybe what could have pulled me from doing it would be the art.
You get nice use of colors, framing, composition and effects. Maybe just more refinement on the elements (characters and objects, the water is fine, don't worry).

[muricio]

Your comic is very nice overall!

The story seemed at first a bit "stiff" but you drove it to the end nicely. For instance, was there a reason Nacho was a botanic? Maybe you will use it forward, but it had no impact on his personality and actions throughout the championship.

The world-setting was quite impressive. It reminded me of Phantasy Star (the games), wich played some notes to my nostalgic heart

Your art needs more "flow". It has good parts but they're not connecting (even inside of one picture). Needs more practice, more relaxation (of you). Will you make more?

[forg]

Already posted in this thread but I should have linked my comic which I didn't ^^;

I hope to get some constructive criticism and I would prefer not to hear 'the main reason i wouldn't read it is the genre.'

Flesh in Gold | Tapas

[kelchan]

Rip me so I can get better

I'm not here right now. | Tapas

[forg]

The thing that catches my attention the most (or distracts me) is the CGI-appearing art style. I'm not sure if you're aiming for or if you are just using 3D to aid in comic-making. A CGI look (at least, one that doesn't blend well within 2D art) in comics just looks wrong to me, because it's not really something I would expect.

Aside from that, I don't think the font fits well too. You can consider a more 'manga' or 'comic' font, I heard Blambot is a good source.

The writing seems pretty good though.

[sonten]

May I get some feedback to?

Our Forever | Tapas

[Ryohalt]

Thank you for your interest!!

Since this is my first comic I'm not focusing on anything in particular, more like an overall critique

[Ryohalt]

Thank you so much for your feedback.

Yeah, the botanist background didn't matter too much in the end. I intended that background to serve portray the contrast of the protagonist: he likes the lifestyle of the fighter but he's not necessarily vicious or bloodthirsty. Sorta Kenichi the mightiest disciple.

Right now I have some RL stuff but I want to continue. Thank you for pointing out the flaws in the sequential art, couldn't realize them by myself.

[forg]

I read your comic yesterday and here are my thoughts on it:

-I like the concepts and I'm into the world you have going on there. The character design and battles are campy and fun in that shonen way.

-I had a bit of trouble following the story line though. I got lost a few times and I struggled recognising characters. I think there are some problems with the flow.

-I would suggest adding more transition panels without dialogue to bridge actions/events better. Also, I understand the B&W manga style you have going on, I suggest adding a wider range of shades for more contrast and playing around with darker shades, and even black to illustrate lighting and shadow more.

-Some more suggestions I have are to vary your lineweights within your lineart. I think this is more important with a B&W comic like yours. It will add more life to your art and comic. Additionally, you can also emphasise shadow with a little bit of shading in your lineart. Let me know if you'd like visual examples.

-I recommend solidifying your anatomy and gesture drawing fundamentals more. Your gestures are already good though, but there's always room for improvement. Don't be afraid of using real life references if you don't already, and practise life drawing more frequently.

Sorry if that was a lot of text to digest but I hope that was helpful!

[Ariaz]

Ngl, after seeing that animated cover, and the first page I subscribed :D. I love the color scheme and art style (it is really difficult to pull of well, so well done.) It has a cool premise as well! I do recommend changing up the font or at least making it bigger though? Otherwise, I will enjoy reading it
Oh and here's my comic I guess

Pudding | Tapas

[Eightfish]

The thumbnail is really lovely. I like the colors and the unique angle and pose.

If I'd just ran across this, though, the writing in the description would've turned me off. It's kind of clunky and hard to understand. The writing in the first chapter is similar. The combination of the formal style and the grammatical mistakes makes me read it slower than I normally would and is distracting.

I don't know how helpful this criticism is, though, because there's really no way to improve English skills quickly- you just need to read a lot. Maybe consider getting a beta reader?

[forg]

Thank you for your feedback!

I ran it through with my friends initially, but rarely got any feedback regarding the writing so it never occurred to me > <

I really need a detail-oriented beta reader or even editor, since I do miss out on a lot of little details!

[TenSenses]

I agree, it was quite short haha

Thanks so much for the kind words and advice!

[brilliiant]

@mouldybrot Hey! I checked out your comic and I think the worldbuilding you're setting up is really interesting! You've got a cool art style and the concepts going on at first glance seem like the sort of thing that can carry the story a long way. I will say though that it's a little difficult to figure out who's talking in the initial episode, which makes it hard to figure out what the situation is beyond the whole deathmask thing. I know that your pilot is in black and white but maybe you could differentiate speakers using a really muted set of colours in the speech bubbles that didn't pull away too much from the greyscale. Either way, I'm subscribing because this kind of stuff is my jam.

@kelchan I agree with the feedback above about the comic, at least from the first episode. I also think that the paneling of the internal dialogue makes it a little difficult to follow the order of what they're saying. But I think you really paint a clear picture of mental health issues, and you really feel the absence of feeling that comes with heavy heavy depression. It feels super genuine! And I think that really speaks to people.

@sonten Your art style is really wonderful! I really like the individual designs of the demons! I also see that initially there was some shakiness with the speech bubbles but you were clearly workshopping it and you made it look a lot more streamlined. I see why you're nearing 1K subscribers.

@Ariaz Your comic is so effin cute! I also really love how much expressiveness you pack into each character. And the colour scheme is really sweet looking. The one thing I would say about it is that the layout is a little disorienting at first but it seems like you switched that up as things go on. Looking forward to more.

Also here's my thing - I'm aware that I've got a lot of issues with the paneling and artwork at first, which has made me a little nervous about posting it here tbh, but I'd love some feedback.

Artifakt | Tapas

[sonten]

Thank you for taking the time to read my comic, and for the review! I'm super happy you like my art style and chara design
Yes, speech bubbles and typography aren't my strength, but great to know that it's improving

[forg]

Thank you so much for your kind comments and your feedback! I really appreciate your support as well!

I'm aware my writing can be confusing, so your feedback is really helpful!

[CloudyMagpie]

@brilliiant Hello there! I read the first 4 episodes of your comic! here are my thoughts:

I was really taken in by the design of your title page which hooked me immediately. overall, your artwork in the first episode is not bad. It can be a little stiff, but the characters are all really expressive despite this and you use them for really good visual storytelling

Our first interaction between Amara and Brair makes up for any doubts someone might have about the artwork. I was drawn in by the fun chatting between these two on page 1; it feels really natural and I could almost hear their conversation in my head (this goes for all other dialogue and banter among the characters so far).

The characters so far are easy to recognize albeit, their introductions feel a little rushed, but who remembers all of their new coworkers immediately, right? ;D

However, I did get lost around the second half of page two because I didn't know which balloon to read first. Unfortunately, this is where I think you might lose most readers. The characters still have cute interactions, but Amara (and by extension the reader) is given loads of information from coworker names, to the history of the founder and what he does to his employees. This is obviously key information you are providing but it is unfortunate that it comes after a confusing section of panels. This section also just comes a little too strongly as "exposition dumping" within, otherwise, really smooth and fun dialogue. I think you did a much better job with the backstory aspects in ep 3-4 by including more visuals to go with Peter's story

On a final note, I will keep reading. Your dialogue and the overall expression in your artwork is really strong and I want to know how this whole gods thing turns out for our cast of characters

If anyone is interested here is my comic:

Vagrant Vultures | Tapas

[brilliiant]

@MossyRabbit Thanks for giving me such a thorough response! I really appreciate it, especially because I've been really considering reworking the first couple episodes. It means a lot that you're into the dialogue because its one of the things I think is strong about the comic, and that can maybe bring people in when the art/layout is confusing. So it feels really good to see that validated. Thanks so much for your support.

I read through Vagrant Vultures and I love your art style - particularly how you lay out scenery although the character designs are great too. One thing that really stood out to me is how you choreograph action - it's all really easy to follow and the dynamic movements you've got going on make it feel like you're looking at a storyboard for a cartoon. A lot of comics feel like they play fast and loose with the space around the characters but yours feels very grounded in a specific area, which I think is also to the action's benefit!

As for the characters I think the group dynamic you're setting up is really interesting, the rag-tag familial vibe really comes through and it's easy to see how they could carry a narrative for a long time. It's also not super expository which is cool because it feels like you're just hitting the ground running with them on a typical day in their lives.. Sonny and company seem really cool and I'm interested to see what happens to them. The only thing I'll say against it is that I had to go back a couple times to figure out what the relationship was between the three of them - but that was honestly it and it could have been me having a brainfart.

Anyway, definitely subscribing - looking forward to seeing what you do with it!

[Ryohalt]

Thank you for your input. Having another perspective is really helpful for one's improvement.

I more than welcome any examples of shading or lineweight you can provide.

I get what you say about the story. Tried to weave too much plotlines and twists in a single comic and should have trimmed some.

[morganicfoods]

I can think of a few reasons for mine already

Anecdote of Error | Tapas