i dont write these often, and honestly havent in a while, but i notice i end up kind of drawing from some of my own experience granted we didn't start out totally hating each other we just didn't know the others personal "back story" but the turning point for us was me standing up for em even though "logically" there wouldnt be reason to but i stuck to my morals and eventually we became close friends
obviously there's relationships that can have even more complexity behind them and theres a lot to play with writing wise in terms of dynamics, it's just seeing where differences or similarities cross paths for me. i'm a big sucker for playing with character dynamics so if even the most opposite people can come together i want to pick apart the heart and mind of what brings them together (like slowly uncovering the picture of a puzzle but no box to guide you).
i feel like it's also helped being something of a rarepair shipper to a degree coz there have been characters who in cannon do have their own dynamic but for whatever reason doesnt really get to stretch to being more so trying to play with what exists and seeing what might draw the two together more or really get into their head and see what would lead them to certain changes in worldview or perspective is fun
In "Lyra's Magnum Opus", Sana's best friend Yami HATES Tetsu from the start. We find out that he's hated Tetsu for about fifteen years due to general distrust, jealousy of Sana's affection for him, and worry that Sana will become attached to others who will be bad for him. Tetsu becomes the symbol of Yami's worry about Sana meeting people who might put him in danger when he can't defend himself due to his illness. Sana is also Yami's only friend, due to Yami's extremely abrasive personality (that he's not aware of), so Yami is fiercely protective of the only person who loves him and gave him a chance. Eventually, Sana and Tetsu fall in love many years after Sana developed this crush. Tetsu does not understand Yami's hate at first, and he's too preoccupied with Sana's worsening illness to really pay attention much. Over the course of eight books, the two become very good friends and understand each other well. It's definitely a journey, and a beautiful one to see. You will cry. They become co-caretakers of Sana, who is slowly dying from his terminal illness. By the time they are in their 60's, Yami and Tetsu are such good, lifelong friends, that Yami becomes the caretaker of Tetsu (as per the epilogue).
Writing relationships that evolve from dislike takes nuance. It takes a long time to work out based on the particular characters' biases and reasoning. You have to make them appear sympathetic eventually to the reader after a long time of often intense hate. It can be hard to get right. Making it feel natural involves making the characters feel real and like something your friend or even you might do or how you or someone you know would react, no matter how immature. Real people are immature and unreasonable. Your characters can be, too.
Writing Tetsu and Yami's friend relationship took a long time, a very long evolution due to the reasoning for Yami's hate. He's also an abrasive person in general, and disliked by most of the other characters except for Sana who'd defend him to the death. Due to this love from Sana, it made Tetsu start to question why Sana defended Yami so much and stuck by him. There must be something good inside him for Sana to love him for all these years. This was he seed that started the evolution.
This is true, and basically how I write it now. I always want to be able to understand my characters mindsets and understand why they would feel justified in them, even if I disagree with them. And this applies to characters who like each other as well. My male and female lead (Kattar and Alicia) love each other to bits, but there are many things about each other they dislike. She is very messy, but this is largely because she barely has the energy and motivation to keep herself alive, it's a long process for her to be able to recover enough to take care of herself and her surroundings. He has a tendency to get sullen when he doesn't get what he wants, but not say anything about it. But this is because he was taught since he was an infant that if you have everything you NEED then having "negative emotions" is bad or a waste of time. Why would you cry if you weren't hurt or hungry? So he's just learned to be quiet about his emotions, but he can't inherently always pretend to be happy. This causes a lot of clashes between the two of them, and they have to work through them slowly, but it's understandable from both of their POVs.
it's that same with the characters in "Rigamarole" though they don't hate each other either, these siblings have a very abrasive relationship with each other because they are both afraid to be gentle. These mindsets often end up angering or hurting each other, but in their heads, their decisions makes sense.
Since many of my couples have 'falling out's, some of them before they actually even become couples or friends, I don't find the 'enemies to lovers' trope entirely unbelievable, but I haven't written it yet.
While the way the female lead in "A Dozen Morning Glories" sees the male lead is far from loving him in the beginning, it also isn't really hatred or dislike, as much as it is having already developed an opinion of him, though inaccurate, that she isn't changing very easily.
I wonder if anybody else has situations like these in their stories?
I think it's pretty hard, in ordinary circumstances to absolutely hate a stranger, but it is pretty easy to misinterpret or misread them, even if you technically 'understand' the things they say. It's a little deeper than a misunderstanding and becomes a mental misrepresentation of the other person. And I think situations like this happen often, even outside of the realm of romance, and in real life.
My MCs are a textbook definiton of enemies to lovers - we got a human sold to the vampire prince.
I spent the entire book 1 developing their relationship to understanding each other, which took time and a lot of love to get them to where they are today.
I have trouble reading stories where enemies are lovers within 10 chapters or just progresses to quickly, it just doesn't happen that way.
I don’t think I’ve written enemies to lovers but I do think I write more enemies to friends? Maybe I do have an enemies to lovers trope somewhere but I’m forgetting?? Idk but with the friendship ones I think the way I go about it is they’re usually butting heads at first, they just get off to a bad start but then something happens where one of the characters is in some sort of trouble and other person turns out not be horrible and sympathizes with the other so that they can help them out
… then slowly the friendship starts, but I think still they annoy each other a bit xD a bit like siblings I would say for those friendships. They’re fun to write though, they have a lot of momentum.
The few times I've written, I usually start it off with some kind of misunderstanding. I think that's the easiest way to do it.
Like, if Character A thinks that Character B stole their parking space. So, the next time Character A sees Character B, they act like a jerk to them. Then, Character B is like "whoah, I didn't do anything to them! What's their problem!"
And then yknow. You can keep building the misunderstandings from there or eventually have someone do something that doesn't match with what they think they know about the other person, so then they get curious. And then they start mending bridges.
I have an "enemies-to-???" thing going for one of the relationships in Apparent Secrets, but haven't resolved whether they'll be friends or lovers just yet. Their first impression was terrible and didn't get better for a long time. One of them tormented a mutual friend of the other's for ages and got their just desserts when everything came to light. Is there enough redemption in the world for them to forgive each other for the mounting pile of slights and misunderstandings? [intrigue intensifies]
As for writing them, I like to give both parties a reason to dislike each other, instead of "one is an a-hole and the other is blameless." I find this helps with the push and pull of the relationship as it grows, instead of being a one-sided endeavor. Also, I'm a big fan of a gradual path to closeness. No "grand gestures" here; if they both put in the work necessary, they can grow past the initial yuck (hopefully). Ultimately, whether an enemies-to-??? happens or not, both parties in my stories need to be true to their authentic selves, which ultimately helps guide whether they have a future together as honest equals.
i agree.
and yeah, I don't like to have one side just be a jerk and the other side blameless either, in most relationships where their are conflict, though I currently don't have an enemies to lovers, more of a one-sided prejudice to lovers. The prejudice becomes mutual when a bad impression on one person's side, spawns a bad impression on the other side and so on.
Assuming I get to a season two/second arc of "A Dozen Morning Glories" we are going to have a little closer to an enemies to friends situation. But it's too spoilery to give much detail on now. Let's just say Honey doesn't take very kindly to one of the relevant characters because she suspects them of trying to hurt one of her little siblings. She's a very mamma-bear sort of older sister.
Kattar and Alicia's relationship did not start with dislike, but as the story progresses, more and more things they dislike about each other begin to show themselves, so it's been interesting to watch the process of them working through these road blocks. Even when you think you're in love with someone from day one, you will likely discover they are not completely whatever idealized version of them you saw in your head, and sometimes they do some really awful or painful things.
This is the first new friend I’ve made in as long as I can remember, and I’m here tricking her for the sake of a secret…
I find…
I hate myself a little more every day, thanks to you.