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Oct 2020

I probably heard these at least one time a week growing up.

Me: "Hey dad!"
Dad: "Hay is for horses. And ewe is a sheep."

Me: "Well..."
Dad: "Now that's a deep subject"

Always hold your head up high.
Never look towards da feet.

A pun walks into a room and kills a bunch of people.

Pun in, ten dead.

Why does a certain R&B singer smile when the moon comes up?
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Because she's Gladys Knight.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he went to go get milk?

Bison.

Heres a morbid one:

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?"
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"He was dead."

There are things wrong with me.

What did Satan's girlfriend say after she broke up with him?
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"666, that's all he ever thinks about!"

Not sure if this counts as joke at all and I'm kind of embarrassed that I thought of it (or perhaps someone else did, I wouldn't be surprised xD) but...

I was looking at the threads here and saw one titled "Elevator Pitch" and thought, "Why would anyone play baseball in an elevator?"

I'll go bury myself in the backyard now xD