alcoholandcaffeine
Maria Killjoy
Europe tapas.io/alcoholandcaffeine
5% pineapple 
15% sweet rainbow 
80% dead inside š¤
100% 'good for morale' 
- Joined
- May 18, '21
- Last Post
- Aug 7, '21
- Seen
- Sep 1, '21
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- member
My pleasure 
That's interesting! Then definitely go with what works 
I try to be as objective as possible, but any suggestion I make will be subjective by default, lol, so I'm definitely not an expert. It may be that the lack of details makes some people wanna see what happens, and turns otherā¦
My pleasure! 
Yay, glad I could help! 
Woah okay that's brutal 
Not sure if I would include a headless corpse in the blurb, but to be fair, it does catch the eye 
It makes me wonder, though, what genre do you classify your story as? Unless it's something horror, or mature, I would maybe go for something like:
17-year-old Akilah is trā¦
No problem~ Ok, so this is all a very interesting slice-of-life mosaic, though I do have to ask - is this for an anthology of school-related stories, or is there one protagonist in particular whose journey we're following? If it's the latter, then we need to see that person and focus on them iā¦
Ah, I see! Maybe you can include just that - surviving, meeting people, finding a new home, discovering the planet. This is not immediately obvious in the current set up.
Happy to help! Thanks for dropping by
You know, that sets us up nicely for the question of - what is considered niche? This is probably something that varies from platform to platform. I've written a variety of stuff, but the story I brought to Tapas is a slice-of-life historical fic...with selkies lol. Think Outlander meets Downton Aā¦
Woohoo, happy to help!
It's nice to see what Ruby wants, because that sets it up to conflict with what she actually gets, but for a blurb, I think this could start better with where she is right now. Like..what is her status quo before whatever it is that sets off her journey? Because then when David Marquis comes into ā¦
Haha, all right! Well, if the novel is huge, then you definitely need a couple of paragraphs to give readers a taste of what they're getting into. I don't think your big blurb is that long! It's just that it focuses too much on Suren's internal turmoil, and without knowing who she is, or what hā¦
That's true! Hope I can help
I like that you're introducing us to Asura right away, but that first sentence is a bit of a run-on. And if he's already 'infamous', then I can imagine his powers would be 'intimidating'. How about...
Asura, a demon infamous for his cruel tactics, is betrayed byā¦
This sounds very interesting, but I think for the genre you're writing in, quite generic. Your last sentence could potentially apply to most VR stories out there. So I need to know what is it about your protagonist or your story's conflict that should make choose this one, over all the others. Whoā¦
This is overall good as a blurb, it sets up the character and the story nicely. I do have some grammar and structure adjustments, though, and I will improvise a bit on some details, feel free to correct if I'm off the mark. After a break-up, Lia Lin Ai got into a fatal car accident. Strangely, aā¦
Haha, thank you! Hope I can help
This is a good start! I would maybe connect the sentences with a comma, rather than a period, like this:
Chippo wakes up surrounded by an eternal mist, not knowing how he got here or why he's all alone.
This is where I get a bit confused. How do the ordeā¦
Haha, all right, then! Ok so this whole first part reads like an exposition. It's all a very interesting set-up, but I have a feeling this is either a previous book or some sort of backstory, and I can't tell yet what it is that I will be reading about. Here is where the story finally begiā¦
Congratulations Could you please paste the content of the blurb as a post in this topic, for easier editing?
Haha, glad you liked it! Of course, go for it
Happy to help! And yes, that's always the dilemma, heh. As authors, we feel like everything we put into the story is iMpOrTaNt lol, sā¦
Hey, everyone! Just wanted to let you know, since it's the Internet and we all expect instant replies haha, that I'll be making my way through all of your posts over the weekend Thank you for dropping by and please bear with me ļø
You're welcome! Honestly, editing be like that - it's easier to do it for other people than for yourself, lol. Honestly, I think this is really good, especially if your comic is short! It packs conflict and character in two well-paced sentences, which give the readers just enough to leave themā¦
Haha, nothing wrong with short, especially if the story/comic you're creating is also short That being said...one single sentence can't convey a whole lot about your characters and conflict
Can you tell us what's the name of the princess? Who/what broke her? Which horrors of the world?
Likā¦
Hiii! Haha, well, maybe I can help
I think this is redundant here. It tells me nothing about the story or the characters.
This is a good paragraph! I do have a few edits:
In his sleep, Shinichi was able to see the world's true form. Most importantly, he could level up people's abilitiesā¦
Haha, no worries, that clears it all up already Let me see what I can do...
A Death-Game ensues when 61 million of the world's population get trapped in Knights & Mages Online. Seth Kiah, the Winner of the Beta Test, has been exiled. The Creator has gone Villain and is hellbent on making everā¦
If you mean on Wattpad, I'd say to go for it. It's a huge platform and sure, it's luck of the draw, but that's everywhere else as well and you've got nothing to lose š¤·āāļø In my ten years of online writing, I think I've tried out all the major platforms and I don't think there's one definitely betterā¦
Happy to help
Hello hello 
I'll see what I can do 
This is a nice set-up of conflict/stakes, however...
...this needs to be fleshed out and broken up. I kind of get a feel for the world, but I'm not really seeing the characters here. Like, what is the story that I am supposed to be following? Is it a viā¦
Thank you, too, for editing the blurb in!
I like how this ties in to the title!
Okay so I get it that Ara is a day-dreamer and dreams of boys, that sets up a nice conflict, but you lost me in the middle a bit. Let's recap:
Ara is a day-dreamer and hopeless romantic
Nick is a newly tranā¦
Yup, not a problem at all!
My pleasure Hope I can help~
This is actually really nice and sweet! I do have a few suggestions to improve flow and give the reader a better taste of what they're getting into.
I think Akiro, a rumored delinquent reads better.
Is being a beauty all that Hinata's known for? 
I would ā¦
Hiii! I'll try my best
This is a very nice paragraph, but I am not sure that you need it in a blurb. Most readers will forget these world-building details by the time they dive in.
I think you could comfortably start your blurb with Ivan, and then take it from there. What is this "Trial ā¦
Could you please copy and paste the blurb as a post on here? That would be easier for editing!
Happy to see I've got customers hehe 
will try to do these on my lunchbreak 
Hello, people of Tapas! I'm trying to break into forum territory, lol, so I figured offering a smol service might help me achieve that, haha. So, as the title says, I am here to edit your blurbs! By blurb I mean: short description of your story (no longer than 300-400 words) written to tell peā¦
Ohhhh man, this is definitely one of those "the chicken or the egg" questions ahaha. I think in an ideal world, the answer would be both -- interesting plot written beautifully. In the real world, however, I will take an interesting story with flawed writing any day over bland purple prose. Espeā¦