Will edit your blurbs (for free)

[alcoholandcaffeine]

Hello, people of Tapas!

I'm trying to break into forum territory, lol, so I figured offering a smol service might help me achieve that, haha.

So, as the title says, I am here to edit your blurbs!

By blurb I mean: short description of your story (no longer than 300-400 words) written to tell people what it's about and entice them to read it.

By edit I mean:

• review readability: how much sense your blurb makes and what it conveys.
• grammar and spelling check.
• sentence structure and flow.
• overall impressions.

For easier editing, please paste in the content of your blurb as a post on this topic!

Disclaimer #1: my expertise lies with novel writing, so if there are any specific comic blurb rules, I may not be aware of them! Though I think in essence they're fairly similar, so I am open to editing both novel and comic blurbs

Disclaimer #2: there is no payment required, but I do ask for your patience, haha. Real life permitting, I may or may not be able to get to these right away.

Now lemme see yer blerbs

Ok so while I still do not require any payment for editing your blurb, I thought I'd leave the link for my novel Seacliff here, so you can subscribe if you like - it'll publish Aug 19 as a Premium title ^_^ https://tapas.io/series/Seacliff

[chestnutriceeee]

You are amazing for doing this! I am putting my story through a heavy editing phase and getting some insight on the blurb would be very helpful. Thank you very much.

Here is the blurb and the link.

Summary

https://tapas.io/series/Trial-Run/info

Magic is the very core of the world. Floating lands, moving trees, rising waterfalls, and beasts of unimaginable strength. Magic flourishes! Magic proliferates! Magic creates! Nothing in the world is impervious to magic. Nothing but a boy.

When Ivan, a mere thief, finds a pocket watch with the power of “Trial Run” the world changes.

With just the watch and his wits, Ivan embarks on a conquest to rid the world of Magic. The filthy magic that steals, the filthy magic that deprives, and the filthy magic that kills.

Using everything in his path, Ivan will plunge this developing world into chaos to achieve what he wants.

This is the story of betrayals, schemes, and trickery.

This is the story of friendship, trust, and destiny.

This is the story of a villain. Who only god knows is right or wrong.

[diestreve319]

Thank you so much for doing this

Here are my blurbs:

1st blurb:

A rumored delinquent, Akiro, has a crush on Hinata, who is known as the sleeping beauty in their school. One encounter made them realize that in spring and being surrounded by cherry blossoms, friendship is the answer and possibly, a beginning of a sweet romance story.

2nd blurb:

The sunset is a witness of my story.

Natalie isn’t expecting to fall in love with Dave.
But a change of feelings sparks quickly when she catches him singing her favorite song while playing his guitar.

She suddenly sees him in a different light and notices the real Dave, who is beyond kind and sincere, with a voice so beautiful and whose passion is playing the guitar.

Set against the backdrop of St. Louis, Missouri, this openhearted teen struggles to accept her growing love for Dave. Despite that, she fights to keep him in her life. Will she follow her heart to stay and listen to his song in the sunset?

3rd blurb:

Hugh has always been in love with his best friend, Jolie. But he never got the courage to confess. Until one day, prom is coming soon, and Jolie is asking him if he’ll go to prom. Will Hugh find a way and be brave enough to ask her to go to prom with him? Or will he choose to stay away and keep his feelings forever a secret?

[Aleus_arts]

Thank you, you are awesome
Check mine out too

Edit : Where love is infinite, feelings are hidden, then eyes tell everything. And It's lovely to see!

Ara is a day dreamer, who dreams a guy alot.. She thinks that nick who is newly transferred to school is her dream boy but he loves someone else and came for her who Ara Knows already, can Ara see its coming?, meanwhile Ara's best friend naeil secretly loves her and waits ages to confess..
Can she know it's coming?
Its lovely to see you....

It's lovely to see you | Tapas

[alcoholandcaffeine]

Could you please copy and paste the blurb as a post on here? That would be easier for editing!

Happy to see I've got customers hehe will try to do these on my lunchbreak

[alcoholandcaffeine]

You are amazing for doing this! I am putting my story through a heavy editing phase and getting some insight on the blurb would be very helpful.

Hiii! I'll try my best

Magic is the very core of the world. Floating lands, moving trees, rising waterfalls, and beasts of unimaginable strength. Magic flourishes! Magic proliferates! Magic creates! Nothing in the world is impervious to magic. Nothing but a boy.

This is a very nice paragraph, but I am not sure that you need it in a blurb. Most readers will forget these world-building details by the time they dive in.

When Ivan, a mere thief, finds a pocket watch with the power of “Trial Run” the world changes.

I think you could comfortably start your blurb with Ivan, and then take it from there. What is this "Trial Run" and why am I supposed to care about it?

With just the watch and his wits, Ivan embarks on a conquest to rid the world of Magic. The filthy magic that steals, the filthy magic that deprives, and the filthy magic that kills.

Using everything in his path, Ivan will plunge this developing world into chaos to achieve what he wants.

Now this here is much more interesting than the first paragraph. We finally establish character, conflict, and stakes, which is what a blurb needs to do.

This is the story of betrayals, schemes, and trickery.

This is the story of friendship, trust, and destiny.

This is the story of a villain. Who only god knows is right or wrong.

I personally do not see much need for these. Most stories are, in some way, about friendship, betrayal, trust, etc. Why should the reader choose yours, over all the others? I know it's tough to strike a balance between making a description intriguing and giving too much away, but try to focus more on the specifics of your own story, and less on the generic.

Here is my (improvised) take on it if you're interested

Ivan is a mere thief in a world of unimaginable magic. When he finds a pocket watch with the power of "Trial Run" - the power to bend reality at his own will - Ivan's destiny changes.

With just the watch and his wits, he embarks on a conquest to rid the world of Magic. The filthy magic that steals, the filthy magic that deprives, and the filthy magic that kills.

Ivan will stop at nothing to achieve what he wants. Not even if it means plunging this developing world into chaos. Not even if it means becoming a villain. Whether he's right or wrong...god only knows.

[chestnutriceeee]

Oooh! Thanks for the help! Getting rid of the generic stuff and sticking to what's unique is solid advice! If you don't mind, can I use your version for my blurb if you don't mind?

[Sethstiel]

Hi hiii~ Sethstiel here ^^
So I'm not sure what you can do with mine but I'll leave it to your hands

If you wanna get more idea of my story' I'll also drop the link so.. feel free to do whatever
Thank you in advance, you're amazing!!

The blurb:
When 61 million of the world population gets trapped in a Multiplayer Virtual Reality game; KMO, and the Creator goes all Villain, turns everything into a Death-Game, what would you do?
Seth Kiah, the Winner of the Beta Test, has been exiled. What is the possibility of surviving?

Addition to the Comic, you'll get too see some exclusive matters & thoughts of the non-main characters~

Knights & Mages Online; The Lightnovel | Tapas

[alcoholandcaffeine]

Thank you so much for doing this

My pleasure Hope I can help~

A rumored delinquent, Akiro, has a crush on Hinata, who is known as the sleeping beauty in their school. One encounter made them realize that in spring and being surrounded by cherry blossoms, friendship is the answer and possibly, a beginning of a sweet romance story.

This is actually really nice and sweet! I do have a few suggestions to improve flow and give the reader a better taste of what they're getting into.

A rumored delinquent, Akiro,

I think Akiro, a rumored delinquent reads better.

Hinata, who is known as the sleeping beauty in their school.

Is being a beauty all that Hinata's known for? I would recommend using character identifiers which are not related to their physical appearance. 'Rumored delinquent' opens up a much better possibility for character conflict than 'sleeping beauty'.

One encounter made them realize that in spring and being surrounded by cherry blossoms, friendship is the answer and possibly, a beginning of a sweet romance story.

I would break this up in a couple of sentences, I think. And add something specific about this encounter of theirs. The 'character meets character and falls in love' trope abounds in romance stories, so I need to know what sets yours apart from the others

2nd blurb:

The sunset is a witness of my story.

This is beautiful, but redundant in the context of your blurb. It doesn't add anything to nor tie in with the rest of the blurb.

Natalie isn’t expecting to fall in love with Dave.But a change of feelings sparks quickly when she catches him singing her favorite song while playing his guitar.

She suddenly sees him in a different light and notices the real Dave, who is beyond kind and sincere, with a voice so beautiful and whose passion is playing the guitar.

Nice conflict set up, though I would love to know more about Dave than his passion for the guitar. She is an openhearted teen who's maybe a bit reluctant about love. He's kind and sincere and plays the guitar. She has a conflict. He does not. I hope that makes sense?

3rd blurb:

Hugh has always been in love with his best friend, Jolie. But he never got the courage to confess. Until one day, prom is coming soon, and Jolie is asking him if he’ll go to prom. Will Hugh find a way and be brave enough to ask her to go to prom with him? Or will he choose to stay away and keep his feelings forever a secret?

This is short and to the point! Characters, check! Conflict, check! Stakes, check! My only suggestion would be to perhaps flesh it out a little, in case the story is on the longer side. Reading this, I am expecting to dive into a short story or novella. But that's just a minor suggestion

Hope that helps!

[alcoholandcaffeine]

If you don't mind, can I use your version for my blurb if you don't mind?

Yup, not a problem at all!

[alcoholandcaffeine]

Thank you, you are awesome Check mine out too

Thank you, too, for editing the blurb in!

Where love is infinite, feelings are hidden, then eyes tell everything. And It's lovely to see!

I like how this ties in to the title!

Ara is a day dreamer, who dreams a guy alot.. She thinks that nick who is newly transferred to school is her dream boy but he loves someone else and came for her who Ara Knows already, can Ara see its coming?, meanwhile Ara's best friend naeil secretly loves her and waits ages to confess..Can she know it's coming?

Okay so I get it that Ara is a day-dreamer and dreams of boys, that sets up a nice conflict, but you lost me in the middle a bit. Let's recap:

• Ara is a day-dreamer and hopeless romantic
• Nick is a newly transferred student who loves somebody else
• Naeil, Ara's best friend, is actually in love with Ara and wants to confess

What can she not see coming? And what does this mean: "he loves someone else and came for her who Ara Knows already"? If you could help clarify that, please, I could see if I can think of any suggestions to make the blurb clearer

[alcoholandcaffeine]

Hi hiii~ Sethstiel here ^^So I'm not sure what you can do with mine but I'll leave it to your hands

Hello hello I'll see what I can do

When 61 million of the world population gets trapped in a Multiplayer Virtual Reality game; KMO,

This is a nice set-up of conflict/stakes, however...

and the Creator goes all Villain, turns everything into a Death-Game, what would you do?Seth Kiah, the Winner of the Beta Test, has been exiled. What is the possibility of surviving?

...this needs to be fleshed out and broken up. I kind of get a feel for the world, but I'm not really seeing the characters here. Like, what is the story that I am supposed to be following? Is it a villain-centered story? Or are we following Seth Kiah?

If you could give me a few more details, I could try to whip up my own version, to show you what I mean

[diestreve319]

Thank you so much for all your suggestions about my blurbs. I'll keep them all in mind. ️

[alcoholandcaffeine]

Happy to help

[Sethstiel]

...this needs to be fleshed out and broken up. I kind of get a feel for the world, but I'm not really seeing the characters here. Like, what is the story that I am supposed to be following? Is it a villain-centered story? Or are we following Seth Kiah?

If you could give me a few more details, I could try to whip up my own version, to show you what I mean

Ahaaa~ I see!!
So, we are following Seth, most of the time, but his small circle of friends also matters a lot in some.. parts of the story, since everyone has a role (Healer, Fighter, Mage etc.)
The main objective is to defeat all Bosses of 100 islands and get out of the VR game they're trapped in. But the villain, the creator of the game isnt playin fair. Just keeps making it harder for everyone as the time passes.
Idk how to tell you about the story more without spilling major spoilers

[tamapochi]

Thank you for this 🥺 I don't know how many times I've edited my description yet it still doesn't look right to me xD

Here's my blurb:
It was all wrong. Everything was going so horribly wrong… and then, his last light of hope appeared.

At his sleep, Shinichi was able to see the world's true form. Most importantly, he could somehow level up people's abilities and, eventually, he could obtain those maxed out abilities for himself! Thus, he begun his journey of collecting as many powerful people as he could. With this, he could return to his former glory...

There's also an odd figure in his dreams that resembled him… must be his mother right? She seemed to be warning him: "The world's devouring has begun and it won't stop until everything's consumed" or some other cautionary words.

Well... who cares about the end of the world anyways? He has other things to do. These warnings were not going to help his current situation. Best to ignore it!

[surenlicious]

Oh my, would you? Mine is pretty short but I keep trying to spice her up just a little bit more.

[Jade Kingdoms blurb ]

The story of a sorrowful princess who would no longer allow anyone else be broken as she had been, reached out to the horrors of the world to help her undo the damage of her crown.

[AwesomeSoFar]

honestly I think my comic's so damn short it'll take less time to read than the damn blurb
thank you for this, I could really use the help, I suck at blurb writing.

Shiro is an energetic martial artist with a big heart whose friend was corrupted by power. He'll do whatever it takes to show him the light, but can you change someone that doesn't want to change?

Goodbye, Rival

Goodbye, Rival | Tapas

mind if I throw in a few blurbs for stories I haven't posted yet?
Timmy's Angel:

Timmy is a sweet, shy kid forced to endure harsh bullying. Little does he know, an Angel is looking out for him.

Celestial Terrestrial:

Caleb Connors is dragged into a fight for his life when an unstable man with unholy powers tries to kill his Guardian Angel. Can the unlikely duo find the strength to defeat him?

Xenoscape:

When the lively and hopeful Tara finds herself stranded in a mind-bending alien realm, she must conquer its unknown dangers to survive - Until she asks herself if surviving is a replacement for being happy.

[arxianfall]

I'm very interested in how others see it. No need for much, Just want to know if it gathers any interest.
Thank you.

Summary

The A.I. won the war when it figured out how to hack the resistance’s bionic enhancements.

In a last ditch effort the ‘No Steel' project launched, with the hope of creating humans, strong enough to face a mech.

The project was never completed. Fearing the A.I. could learn the basics of genetics, all volunteers were launched into space.

Many years later, 'Fall's stasis casket lands on a distant world.

With nothing left, he lets go of the past and tries to survive on his new world.

But this second chance, might be a new chapter of the Mech War.

[Nossumy]

This is super nice of you.️
I'm struggling with my blurb a bit.

Blurb Chippo wakes up surrounded by an eternal mist.
Not knowing how he got here or why he's all alone.
Noticing all his ordered packages are coming from an unknown sender, he starts wondering is he really all alone?

Link to the comic

https://tapas.io/series/Eternal-mist