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Feb 2021

Every time someone tells me they're writing a children's book, my spidey senses go off--evvvveryone who has seen a baby assumes they're easy to write and make which like...no man.

It's always hella dense with text too and it's like--this is for BABIES, man. BABIES.

That and when I'm like "no publisher will accept your manuscript if you are an unpublished author who's already "found" an illustrator. Your art director will find your illustrator." and they're like...yeah but won't the art help it stand out? and it's like "No! I literally majored in this, that's now how this works!"

My weirdest commission though was a hella great guy, and it was a masssive oil painting of him shirtless holding his mother's dog. It hangs above her fireplace.

@GamerPrincessXI So saddest story ever told, I lost my photo of the final product, but this is the part product

It is based on a photo, (the dog is fine, kinda looks like he's being choked out, but he was just being a wiggly weirdo) but maybe I'll find the final one day.

Also he is not nacked, he is wearing pants. Hard to tell in this picture hahaha

No, it was some goofy thing she copied off the internet... If I had signed it, it said I wouldn't be allowed to reveal it's existence for two years...a window that could easily be seen from a busy street. Lol.

I've had multiple people ask me to illustrate children's books about talking animals for them. Which in itself is fine, but I draw adult comics with a specific focus on horror and erotic art. Like, that's what my portfolio focuses on.

I don't know why people can't understand that artists have different specialties. Anyone who's had someone ask them to draw a logo can understand. It's like asking a plumber if they can repaint the house while they're at it.

omg i get so many people asking if ill design their tattoo for them or make a logo and i???

i draw furries, ma'am.

Someone on Deviantart once tried to commission me a "pencil sketch portrait" (aka the thing I said I would do for the cheapest price, just $5, no background included)... and then they sent me a full body photo of a woman dancing in a room with like a thousand of butterflies flying around and asked me to draw that. As in, the whole freaking thing, not just the face. I politely told them that nope, that wasn't how it worked, if they wanted a full body picture with a background and additional details the price was going to be a lot higher... they never replied. Six months later, they showed up again to send spam/phishing links to my e-mail. Still not sure if they got hacked or if it was a scam all along :'D

"don't bread shame people!"

Just kidding.....gotta say.....guess that shows ANYTHING can be someone's fetish.....no matter how oddly specific......

That could mean their e-mail is hacked. I don't think they did that on purpose.

Yep, I like to think that's what happened too. I mean, if they were a scammer, they would have probably sent spam/phishing right away instead of waiting for six months. Either way, ended up blocking them to prevent more spamming :sweat_smile:

I've been asked to create a whole comic book that this guy wrote for free. He'd publish it, but I wouldn't see a cent of it, because he was doing me a favour by giving me exposure.
I seriously hate that word.
Obviously, I said no.

Ah ok I remember this was like my beginning of middle school (6th) and it wasn't a "potential client" because I did do the drawing lol
I drew one of these guys I can't remember which one was but it was this BTS Group, I know it was a guy who was sleeping in the airplane with a neck animal(?) pillow
Its not the wildest but kind of the weirdest because 1. it was weird to draw something you have no Knowledge of and 2. idk :sweat_02:

I drew it as in a realistic way and got paid …. the drawing wasn't even good though lol

5

A friend wanted me to make her a whole ass Visual Novel in two weeks for free. We are no longer friends. :blank:

About a week ago, someone messaged me asking how much would I charge them to do a portrait of their pet dog. When I told them them that I wasn't available to take commissions they replied...

"Okay, can you just do it for free then?"

:smirk: