wait, so youre straight? ive never actually come across a straight girl so into writing an f/f romance, and youre going about it really respectfully - so props to you! although i wouldnt go around using the word dyke as a title (as you were considering in another thread) if youre straight, thats a bad vibe.
so... lesbian romance... i think a dynamic worth taking into consideration is a lot of lesbians constantly fear being predatory, leading to (particularly young, new) lesbians often being kinda roundabout and oblivious with romance? like if you go to lesbian circles of like, tumblr (of which there are many), therell be constant jokes about oblivious butches who dont realise theyre being flirted with even when its Really Bleeding Obvious. also we talk. we talk so much.
oh my good dude we got a whole thing for that - stone butch/femme culture is afaik based in sexual trauma and how that affects your sexual and gender expression. read stone butch blues to learn more abt that - and generally about like, lesbianism; history, identity, gender... its a seminal text
this varies! this varies a tonne - youll find that lesbians have far wider perceptions of beauty than the conventional male gaze. butch women are a really good example of this - were manly, hairy, often either fat or really muscly, all sorts of things men seem to loathe in women. but butches are beloved in most lesbian circles.
personally, im a bit of a theoretical butch4butch - ive only dated femmes (or ppl whove toed the line), and ive loved and been very attracted to them, but i really like butches aesthetically.... might be bc im butch tho...
i spose? i mean, hypersexuality through trauma can affect anyone, and ive known lots of lesbians who struggle with things like that, although its not something i can really talk about with much knowledge.
i think this varies as well, from person to person. theres butch/femme roles, but theyre far from 'whos the man and whos the woman' - in the Oldern Days butch & fem was about protection, and sex. the butch dicked down the fem, and they dressed how they dressed to be safe out and about. butches were the physical protectors, but fems the financial protectors - holding down more pink collar jobs while butches often faced discrimination within the high-turnover bluecollar world (important to note that historically butch/fem has been a decidedly working class thing, and middle-upper class lesbians have looked down on it. funky stuff)
these days butches still maintain a role of protection within the lesbian (and wider lgbt) community, but within relationships its often a very equal footing - each according to her needs, you might say. theres stay at home mums who are butches, theres lesbian couples who both work, often chores are shared between the two.
if you wanna know more about butch/fem history, i recommend this blog, and this list of essays:
they share a lot of great insights into lesbian culture and history
to get to know more about lesbian dynamics and culture, i recommend consuming lesbian media. paaaaaaaarticularly the works of alison bechdel - THE lesbian cartoonist. for years she had a serialised comic called Dykes to Watch Out For that was all about lesbian life of the time following a cast of various different flavours of dyke. she also has two graphic novels that are Pretty Gay - Fun Home is about her relationship with her father and their shared coming out stories (he was gay, she was gay, he killed himself, she became a lesbian cartoonist, go figure), and Are You My Mother is about her relationship with her mum and also with like, a bunch of her ex lovers. its a bit freudian. its very freudian.
there are also some good lesbian films out there - not a lot, but some. cloudburst has a really good, accurate lesbian dynamic - its about two old women whove been living together for decades, running away to canada to get married. theyre very fun and loving. pariah is also a good one, and rafiki is at the top of my to-watch list too.
youre doing the right thing if you want to get a better grips with lesbian culture - id also recommend checking out lesbian tumblr. you have to be careful, tumblr is like... full of polarised secular little Groups, but if you find the right groups of lesbians who are pretty chill and not terfs ('gender critical', radfem, lots of anti-trans discourse in their blogs) you can get a pretty good scope on lesbian culture and dynamics. theres lots of good lesbian information blogs on tumblr, though besides butchspace no names spring to mind.
of course, its also totally possible to write an f/f romance will no / very little allusions to lesbian culture and history, although our history is rich and worth reading up on regardless. as a straight person, i think id be rather you didnt write a story that was deeply ingrained in lesbian culture, but then im a big believer in 'nothing about us without us,' so thats just me. im excited to see what comes of your story, how youre handling this right now gives me a lot of faith!