Asking the LGBT community: How to write a yuri comic?

[ilustrariane]

i would like to make a GL story one day, but not being lesbian myself, only feminist, makes me wonder if i should, really.

[A-weird-girler]

My sister is lesbian so I kinda have experience with this. Just write them as a straight couple but with girls. Also, avoid stereotypes and slurs.

[A-weird-girler]

Wait, you're lesbian? Cool I didn't know!

[Penni]

I'm sure someone would object but if you're being respectful I don't see a problem. Authors write for the perspective of the opposite sex all the time.

[Penni]

Such an in depth and wonderful response

[punkarsenic]

Wait, you're lesbian? Cool I didn't know!

oh man i need to be More Openly Gay. gotta change my icon to a plaid rainbow or smth

[indagold]

I'll share what I mostly know

Lesbian relationships work like any other couple except its women now? Writing gay characters isn't really very different than writing a straight couple. Its just two people who love each other, that's it. Most I know about the difference is just the dating pool is extremely limited and depending on your preferences in a relationship it will be harder to find a partner as with most relationships. Some lesbians don't like masculine partners because they're mostly attracted to feminine traits, some will only date masculine, some don't care. Really it depends.

If we're talking about abuse my knowledge is among lesbians is that it's unusually higher statistically than straight couples and homosexual male couples. Could be a lot of factors but mostly because I think society does not take abuse done by females seriously on all sides of the issue which is a horrible problem. Things like this make relationships difficult and causes trust issues both for the partner and reporting it to the police. Abuse is always looked at as a solely male against female heterosexual issue so something like this is not surprising, if not expected. Definitely if this is an aspect of a story you're writing its something to take in mind.

Also is varies greatly what type of trauma it is. Something like childhood trauma changes your mental comprehension of the world as opposed to assault happening in adulthood where your brain is no longer developing and you have better outlets to go to with dealing with PTSD though both can greatly alter your mental state and personality. Pervasive abuse really changes your outlook on the world and where codependant and unstable relationships form because of thinking patterns hardwired in you for years from being raised in an environment that encouraged this. Things like sex addiction and stress around sex can be a serious problem in any type of relationship, so yes that can happen. This is more of a thing that can change through therapy, fixing unhealthy thinking patterns and finding better ways to deal with people in relationships, recognizing signs of abusive partners and actively understanding you have more control than you think you do.

This is more of a psychological thing though, so its better researching articles, papers, etc.

[Tepperz]

Bisexual trans man here. I can give my opinion on some stuff.

What are the most important things to know about lesbian romance?

Authenticity in their characters. Don't rely on stereotypes. Lesbian fiction, especially yuri, can tend to fall into the pitfalls of "butch/masculine" and "femme/delicate" stereotypes. This creates pairings like butch/butch, femme/femme, butch/femme -- but real people aren't two dimensional like that. So often I see fiction that falls into making the lesbians "pure shoujo girls kissing for the first time ugu :3" (yuri) or "butches making out while smoking and rock music plays in the background" (mainstream comics). Real lgbt people are versatile and rounded, and get into strange situations that maybe they don't always ask for. In my opinion, it's much more interesting and real to see woman dealing with various aspects of gender/personality and ways of dealing with their life situations.

How does it work? more specifically, can a sexual trauma affect your sexuality and how does it shows in the relationships?

People, at their core, are what they are. Trauma may lead them to explore their other options more, but no trauma can "make someone gay/trans/ect". Trauma often shows up in relationships by making a person who has experienced that withdrawn and nervous about aspects dealing with trauma. They get sad or panicky about things that normally wouldn't bother them or a normal person. They feel like fighting or flighting, and sometimes people without emotional developments won't realize its happening or the cause. Overcoming that is very difficult, it takes patience, time, acceptance and understanding from themselves and their loved one.

There's a difference between having trauma and ptsd, though: ptsd is like dialing up the trauma to full volume, and that can make someone freak out hardcore if it's triggered if they don't feel safe. Screaming, shaking, yelling, you name it, it's best to leave that scenario as soon as possible. When it comes to helping that, listening and trying to make them feel safe and avoid those scenarios in the future is the best way to help.

What do you find "attractive" in another girl?

Personally, I think giggling, humor, kindness. I think it's hot when makeup or outfits match nail polish. Just stuff like that.

Can you become sexual contact-addicted after some sort of abuse you went through?

Some people deal with trauma by becoming emotionally/physically needy, yes. They can date all of their friends and burn bridges - or develope some sort of sex addiction. That's not just a lgbt thing, you see it in straight people all the time. "Playboys" "sluts" forgive the slur, but you see what I mean. Not wanting to be alone with your thoughts and using other people can just be a confused and unaware human thing.

Which part do you like the most of being touched by a girl? How do you see your female partner in a romantic relationship?

As a person. Just the way you (I assume you're a cis straight girl?) would see a guy. Like, a person, someone close, a friend to rely on and kiss.

[Thesleepypencil]

Everyone seemed to already comment things i've already said. But I'm still going to comment on stuff anyway. Though I don't know how well i can answer this, even though I'm Bi and Every story I write has wlw in it.

Like everyone else said, write them as people before writing about their sexuality. Design a character where being attracted to women isn't their whole character. Buuuuuuuuuut, as a half closeted Bi. I can honestly say that my sexuality Does have a part in my character. When I'm around people who I'm out too I talk alot more about pretty girls. ALOT. That might just be due to not being able to talk about it all the time though.

Also since it's a wlw LOVE story you won't have to worry about it. But for any story that doesn't focus on a relationship but has a lgbta+ charater. Say it IN the story. Don't go Dumbledore-ing it as saying so on twitter without backing it up in story, because that means nothing.

How does it work?
Gosh, like people said. Gender Roles go wild here. It's free reign, wild country! There is no asumption because someone is a boyfriend and someone is a girlfriend. I'm a perfect example since any "Het" relationship I'm in those lack of Gender Roles bleed into. These rules don't matter, anyone can send anyone flowers, and catch the spider, or pay for dinner.

There's also usually a lack of Toxic Masculinity (I say usually because yeah, it can still show up.) There would be alot more communication, alot more gushing compliments, ALOT less Ball n Chain type jokes, no belittleing because of gender or Gender based problems. ((This is why when people say write is like you would a straight couple. I find these relationships are way different))

My favorite example of a wlw is the video where a woman an her wife are discussing how ramen in cooked. The one asks "why am I in trouble?" The reply is

"you can't be in trouble, You're my wife"

It's short but feels exactly how it feels in a wlw relationship. This also answers the last question, you see them as the person you love. Thats it.

Oh also also, don't just rely on the concepts of butch and femme. Some people are One or the other, but alot of people can be a mixture of both, eithwr one oone day and the other the next, or just both at the same time!

what do you find attractive in another girl?

Oooh boy. It's a common joke between women and NB Bisexuals (and maybe men bi's too though i see it more common with the others) that with men there is a very small range that we are attracted to. (Note: this grows when i talk to them and get to no them). But with GIRLS!!!!! they are all so attractive!!?????!!. I can't even explain, steriotypical Men can say good body and good face (the worse man can say boobs and but). But like, no girl I've ever been attracted too it the same??? There have been some that I'm not attracted to but i still wouldn't know why???. I know I love smiles, if you're smile reaches you're eyes <3

This isn't really an answer but it also explains that there is alot less guideline to attractiveness with wlw.

I can't answer the trauma ones i have no experience or knowledge on that sorry.

I think last Advice is be careful... especially since you're straight. There are alot of Terms (like D*ke and Queer as examples) that are used commonly within the community. I personally use Queer alot because it's a good umbrella term. But these are also terms that have been are can still be Offensive from someone outside of the community. And while those extreme stereotypes of But lesbians you see on TV can exist and I've seen many wlw make fun of themselves for it. It can also be offensive from someone not in the community because that's not all that they are. (Don't rely too heavily on stereotypes, and alway check if one is teue or not?)

Last advice is check out content made by wlw. That will give you good examples.

additional note I totally forgot "where do you like to be touched".

With any woman I'm in a relationship with or want a relationship with and am close enough with. Being connected and touchy happens. Hand holding, face holding, not even doing anything just watching tv and we'd there have legs intertwined and arms wrapped around. is a constant touch there i don't experience as much when with a guy. The best is when they rest their hands on your hips. This can also change from character too character tho, since some people just don't like beinf touched

[Mari]

you write it like any other story. If the only thing of note in your comic is that "it has lesbians in it", it's not going to be a good comic, it wouldn't even be a very good porno.

However some common clichés to avoid:

"I'm not like other gurls because I don't wear make-up and like geims :'(((((((" - not LGBT specific, but rather a general female protagonist thing. We are all like other girls and boys, and putting the surrounding people (or ourselves) down to seem special is very transparent and annoying.

Cutting - I am not entirely sure why, but any lesbian story that features middle/high school students seems to favour to use cutting as a narrative "BECAUSE SHE IS JUST SO SAD ABOUT GAY D:". While exploring depression and self-harm is not inherently bad, the whole gurl I like is like ew gay -> make one surface dainty cut with razor -> gurl is like o no sori gay is ok -> I never does it again or have problems (or alternatively kill meself) storyarc I have seen more times I can care count is definitely not okay. I mean, if you go that route, I'd rather see some of the inner monologue that goes with it. Does she do it because the pain distracts? Is it a roundabout way to draw attention to her problems? Does she feel the blood flowing out purifies her in some way (as in, bad things flow out with it)? There are many ways and forms self-harming manifests, and before mentioned storyarc is usually not one of them... Say yes to the gross and disturbing mental health portrayals!

Disapproving parents While this again, inherently not a bad thing, it's very tired. So if you don't want to invest time in developing that as a plotline, just don't. Just some half-assed parental disapproval is so 2005

[A-weird-girler]

Lol it's just that I didn't know there were more gay people here. So far the only one I openly know is lesbian is my sister.

[Mari]

I also would like to add, that just because it seems to make sense to you, don't write your assumptions as fact.

I read a book about a bisexual man (written by a straight man) where the bisexual man dated a not yet transitioned transwoman, and the character LITERALLY said something like "I know you hate your dick, but I love both your dick and boobs"

10/10 portrayal of bisexuals, would read again.

[Penni]

As a bisexual, I am slightly horrified by this but not at all surprised

[punkarsenic]

welcome to tapas, the gay:straight ratio is 2:1

[Pan]

Hey, I'll answer all your questions! As a bit of a foreword, I will say this: I'm bisexual, currently married to a man. Keep that in mind as you read my responses!

What are the most important things to know about lesbian romance?
A: In my opinion, it's just the same as a straight romance. It's just that: romance. When you love someone you love them because of who they are. The few times I had crushes on girls, they were always straight, so that sucked, haha. More than anything though, people fall in love, and their lovers become their best friends. It's nice to already be friends before you fall in love, though

How does it work? more specifically, can a sexual trauma affect your sexuality and how does it shows in the relationships?
A: Sexual trauma in no way affects sexuality. If you're gay, you were always gay. If you're bi or pan or demi or gray or asexual, you were always those things. Sexual trauma can, however, affect your relationships with people. I don't want to get into too many details, but something happened to me when I was questioning my sexuality, and it was the final push I needed to really understand myself. That isn't to say that I stopped being interested in men - I am married to a super cute guy, after all XD

What do you find "attractive" in another girl?
A: LEGS, HO DAMN. If a lady has great legs, it's the ultimate turn-on for me. Pretty eyes, too, is something I notice. It's very much a style thing for me, personally, as well. A badass girl in leather jackets and studded shoes will catch my attention more than a cute girl in skirts and dresses. Also, I know this is weird, but I always look at the nose and mouth and how they compliment each other, as well? I should stop, I could talk about this all day XD

Can you become sexual contat-addicted after some sort of abuse you went through?
A: You can become addicted to anything at any point, really. How each individual heals from traumatizing experiences differs. Some people will never be the same, and some can overcome it and be with others. Regardless, I will say that you never forget. Having something like that happen isn't something that you just "get better" from - it stays with you. But it's up to you to be a survivor, and find happiness despite it. Everyone deserves a happy ending.

Which part do you like the most of being touched by a girl?
A: I admit, I've never gotten that far before XD I like it in general when people lovingly touch my face, though.

How do you see your female partner in a romantic relationship?
A: As a partner, a best friend, someone that can lean on me and be leaned on.

I hope that was helpful! Good luck making your comic!

[A-weird-girler]

Mind if an asexual joins?

[punkarsenic]

yeah bruh, i think theres a fair few ace ppl here too - im an ace lesbian!

[Klaustasya]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRECIOUS ANSWERS GUYS! never thought this topic would've become so active and full of so many useful informations! You really are making me hyped for this comic, and i'm currently noting down everything you said ^^

PS: yeah i'm straight, but i have a thing for GL (only specific categories though) ...it's quite strange to say, but i feel an overwhelming and warm sensation when i think about two certain girls together hahaha

[A-weird-girler]

Wow! Never knew I could find someone with both me and my sister's identities

[ryoko]

I love this thread. It's so wonderful to read so many thoughtful responses from everyone to your questions I'm bi and I wish I had access to such a wealth of support growing up, but I'm so happy to see that so many people on this thread are sharing their thoughts to help everyone understand that being gay is as normal as being straight. With all the great advice on here, I think if you create a comic that steers away from the stereotypes and misinformation you'll be helping everyone see that we're all just people and we love who we love.

As for me, I'm an introvert and like to take time to observe and am very quiet, so what I find attractive in either sex is someone who understands that I like being able to quietly figure things out and show affection when I feel comfortable to do so. I've found that women tend to pick up on that faster than the guys and don't constantly ask me "What's wrong?" if I'm not showing what they think is an appropriate level of excitement or engagement to a situation....heh...nothing's wrong, that's just how I am

Physically, it's the eyes that usually attract me. More superficially, I'd say it's a nice butt

I see my partner as my best friend