does podcasting count? i havent read anything lately but i get the same effect from them. im pretty sure it was read off a written script
the intro to adventure zone amnesty episode 13 gave me chills
http://www.maximumfun.org/adventure-zone/adventure-zone-amnesty-episode-131
Out on the balcony, when Reginald kissed Diana's lips, her knees went weak. Slowly, he pulled her top down, exposing her soft, unyielding breasts. Just the sight of those breasts made Reginald's penis very hard. His penis was of considerable size, and now beads of sweat slowly ran down his penis, making it glisten like a strong swimmer, fresh from out of the pool. It was a fantastic penis, that seemed as strong as a horse's leg, yet as delicate as a flower wrapped in silk. What a grand, grand penis. Diana's nipples...
-Valley of Penises, Mr. Garrison
Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink behind the lake,
The shadows lengthen
In Carcosa.Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies
But stranger still is
Lost Carcosa.Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
Lost Carcosa.
-- Robert Chambers, The King in Yellow 1895
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way."
Charles Dickens: A Tale Of Two Cities
It is hard to understand nothing, but the multiverse is full of it. Nothing travels everywhere, always ahead of something, and in the great cloud of unknowing nothing yearns to be something, to break out, to move, to feel, to change, to dance and to experience – in short, to be something.
Terry Pratchett - Raising Steam
I'm gonna have to be very Finnish because my fave opening is from the Kalevala. Also the only beginning I can quote from memory.
Original:
Mieleni minun tekevi, aivoni ajattelevi
lähteäni laulamahan, saa'ani sanelemahan,
sukuvirttä suoltamahan, lajivirttä laulamahan.
Sanat suussani sulavat, puhe'et putoelevat,
kielelleni kerkiävät, hampahilleni hajoovat.
Translation:
Mastered by desire impulsive,
By a mighty inward urging,
I am ready now for singing,
Ready to begin the chanting
Of our nation's ancient folk-song
Handed down from by-gone ages.
In my mouth the words are melting,
From my lips the tones are gliding,
From my tongue they wish to hasten;
When my willing teeth are parted,
When my ready mouth is opened,
Songs of ancient wit and wisdom
Hasten from me not unwilling.
“The Waystone Inn lay in silence, and it was a silence of three parts.”
From The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss.
I have recently re-read it and I loved the beginning so much. It gives like a warm feeling of melancholy and it’s a great way to set the scene.
If you haven’t read it yet I highly recommend it, specially the prologue is amazing! Here you have a link if you want to fully read it. Believe me, it’s worth it.
`
HOWARD ROARK laughed. He stood naked at the edge of a cliff.
When I read this I was like wtf? And my curiosity drove me to read the entire book thereafter... these others are also pretty good.
Call me Ishmael.
Never finished the book, though.
It was a pleasure to burn.
One of my favorite books of all time
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
And of course someone has already mentioned A Tale of Two Cities and Pride and Prejudice. IMO if you can think of the opening instantly when you think of the book, or recognize it immediately without being told where it is from, it's a great opening
I'm quite fond of the opening of Clive Barker's 'The thief of always' (but more for nostalgic reasons)
"The great gray beast February had eaten Harvey Swick alive. Here he was,
buried in the belly of that smothering month, wondering if he would ever find
his way out through the cold coils that lay between here and Easter."
1 month later
For me, the opening of Charles Dicken's Tale of Two Cities is a perpetual thing of beauty...
> It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.