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May 2021

Quick, help. Can someone point out the grammatical errors on this teaser? Also, do these questions align with the CAPITALIZED WORDS or should they move to another paragraph? I'm about to post my 41st chapter and I noticed that I haven't posted a teaser yet for the second part of the novel.

THE FEMALE LEAD OF INAMORATA has been born on the same day as Iris' Second Evaluation. What is the significance of these two events? How will the two lives intertwine?

IRIS STARTS TO PLAN FOR HER LIFE and is finally taking things into consideration. What kind of plans will she formulate? Will she ever realize her dreams or will those remain a vision?

THE PLOT IS START TO UNFOLD. Will Iris let the story run its course or will she intervene? Will she play god or not?
Who are the new characters that are included in Inamorata? Will these characters have anything in common with her - a minor character from the book?

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    May '21
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    May '21
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I can help you out with the grammar here.

How will THESE two lives intertwine? (This isn't a grammar issue, but an agreement one)

Will she ever realize her dreams, or will those remain a vision? (Comma between these clauses)

The plot is STARTING to unfold. (Needs progressive tense)

Will Iris let the story run its course, or will she intervene? (Same as above, needs a comma)

Thanks, I was writing fast and I think my hands aren't as fast as my mind(?) I knew I wrote starting and I was kinda shocked that 2 commented that is should be "starting" when in it has been always been written that way... turned out I was wrong. hehe

Correction. It was supposed to be
"IRIS starts to plan for her life..."
Anyways, I'll just upload the Book 2 teaser here.

A couple suggestions:

"What kind of plans will she formulate?" << Would suggest adding an "s" after "kind" ("What kinds of plans will she formulate?")

"Who are the new characters that are included in Inamorata?" <<The phrasing here a bit awkward, but I'm a little hesitant to rephrase since I'm not familiar with the context and I don't want to accidentally change the meaning. Maybe something like, "What new characters will be introduced in Inamorata? Will they have anything in common with Iris - a minor character from the book?"

Good luck!

As I understand it:
"Was" is the simple past tense of the verb "to be" & "Has been " is the present perfect tense.
“Has been", refers to something in the near past & currently. So, it matters when the birth took place relative to the story-telling POV as to whether "was" fits better.
Example: You send an email. You will probably be notified immediately that the message has been sent. If you look for it days or weeks later, you'll be told the message was sent on such&such date.

I think it's best to use present progressive tense (has been) in this case because the rest of the passage is in present tense. Otherwise it shifts from "was" to "is" straight away and the timeframe gets a little unclear.