May 2018
43 / 149
Jun 2018
Aug 2020
Daknight
Jun '18
TheBryceKrispy

Ah, a one joke/commentary comic. Hard to do with my usual style so I'll do as bit of a different approach:

-Art-

I am guessing you first do it via pencil and then use a marker of sort? I would suggest a really light pencil that is easy to erase once you use your marker/pen. This will omit the double line seen in 2 and 3. Since the important thing here is the joke I think the art style works, maybe have the lines be a bit more 'curve' instead of straight lines.

Also make the pages uploaded bigger, the size you use on the 2 episode is perfect, the other feel really small.

-Writing-

Some pretty nice jokes here, but I would try to move away from some stale or overuse one (the Dragon all one) and more to the ones like in 2 and 4 ones. Those where good. Also try using a smaller tip pen for the writting so is easier to read.

-Paneling-

I notice most are 3 to 4 panels (number 2 being an exception) so all I can say is to create some inbetween space between each panel just for a more clean look.

There isn't really story giving is more random jokes which is good, just mentioning why I am not doing a story part.

Just keep working on your art cause you do have some good humor material in a few of the 4 you have uploaded.

TheBryceKrispy
Jun '18

@Daknight,

Thank-you for taking time to review my comic!

-Art-

I use Felteez Pens to trace over pencil drawing. I will definitely have to start erasing after I trace over the pencil drawing. I don't know what your mean by 'curve', though.

-Writing-

I agree the Dragon Ball Z joke has been used so many times that by know its a cliche. I will not use those cliche jokes anymore. Writing with the Felteez pen is very hard due to the thick lines that it naturally has. Maybe I should use a regular pen or some other method of writing?

-Paneling-

I am still pretty new to making comics on Tapastic. So I have absolutely no idea how to make their be spaces between panels. But I notice other comics do have spacing between their comics that do make it look more professional. I will definitely have to work on making the art better and it a bit more legible.

again, thank-you for taking the time to review my comic!

Daknight
Jun '18

By curves I mean in the shoulders part is a kind of of corner like, if you make them be more 'curve' like, it becomes more natural looking. For the writing text try a micron pen of say .05. They are really great and cost around 2 dollars in art stores. If unable to get a micron pen then a regular pen might work.

As for the space is simple, I notice you draw a line to separate the 'panels'. Instead throw two, and do them a bit apart, that creates space.

antwyonsimpson
Jun '18

Heres mine. Review it whenever you get the chance. I greatly appreciate it if you do!

TheFalseVyper
Jun '18
inbox_anime

Hey, inbox_anime!

I apologize for not responding until now, but I have been busy for the last day or so.

I see that Daknight has already given you a review, but I have read through your comic and can still give you a review if that's something you're interested in!

Let me know :slight_smile:

inbox_anime
Jun '18

Yes please, I'd love that. Having an extra insight will be awesome.. :slight_smile:.. Thank you very much

TheFalseVyper
Jun '18
inbox_anime

Alright, inbox_anime, Daknight did a great job reviewing your comic, but here is my review on Combula Crystelice3.

-Art-
I absolutely adore your art style. It is extremely detailed and you use a very wide variety of poses and angles. As the comic progresses, I can see some great improvements in your line work as well as shading and coloring. I know you started this back in 2016, but you've done great with continuing to improve.

I have to say that the last chapter with the woman tumbling through the air and taking out those guards was reeeaally impressive. I envy your anatomy drawing, it's truly amazing and I can tell you've worked really hard on getting this far with it.

If there is anything left to improve with your art I would say some of the faces come out disproportional. For example, the eyes don't line up properly or the mouth is slightly off center. I recommend flipping the canvas often! Flipping the canvas is a technique digital artists use to easily see if something is out of place.

As a side note, as Daknight mentioned, the watermark is a little distracting. I understand not wanting your work to be stolen, but it does take away from all of the hard work you've put into your work. Instead of putting the watermark over your art, consider just putting just one water mark on the bottom of your pages. I was happy to see you remove it on your latest update. It made your work seem more clean!

-Writing-
The one thing I think needs to be improved most in your comic would be the writing. The writing does get better as the comic progresses, however it's sometimes hard to read the text because either the font is too small or the text box squishes the dialogue together.

There are times where I'm not exactly sure who is talking. This is due to the text box being in an awkward place or the the text box is transparent and the background clashes with the text. And while I think the font really fits with the fantasy aspect of your comic, I don't feel it's practical towards the later updates. The font makes the writing hard to read at times. I think a standard comic font would be easier on your reader's eyes. This is just an opinion and I can understand how you may not want to change it.

I have mixed feelings about using "Dafuq" and "Frack" instead of using actual curse words. The first instance I noticed this was when the dragons returned and attacked the city. This was an intense moment, but with the townspeople yelling "Dafuq?", I felt disconnected from the tension I should have been feeling while reading about people being burned alive and killed by dragons. If you're looking to avoid using harder curse words, I would recommend using the censor method of putting the first letter and then staring out the rest of the word. For example, instead of writing "Dafuq", it could have been "What the f***?".

-Paneling-
You have very abstract paneling methods. I enjoy seeing the different ways you panel your scenes. It was nice seeing how you broke away from using just boxes and you shifted to using organic shapes, especially in your most recent update. Something to consider is to use more space, (you have a vertical scroll comic after all!). There are times when I'm not sure what's happening because the panels are too close together. I love how you often have people placed outside their designated panels, but because of the spacing of panels, I'm not always sure which panel to read next.

Expanding your panels, and utilizing the freedom that vertical comics can give, will also help with some of the issues that occur with the text.

-Story-
You have a very interesting plot line. I love the lore and the idea of a dragon god, but it felt like too much information was given at once. It's very clear that you've spent a great deal of time setting up your world, but as a reader, we don't have much of a reason to care about history. I understand wanting to tell your readers every detail about your world and the history, but the unfortunate truth is that your readers aren't going to care as much as you do about your world UNLESS you give them a reason. This is achieved by giving us characters we care about.

After reading you comic, I was still unsure of who the main character is. You did a great job introducing the dragon, Atavash (really cool name, by the way!), and setting up some conflict between Atavash and the Night's Champion that killed her. However, just as I was starting to get attached to these two characters, as I assumed this was who the comic was going to revolve around, the setting changed and we were introduced to another character and more history.

Aside from the characters, I feel you're trying to have too many plot lines going on at once. After reading your second and third update, I assumed the comic was going to deal more with dragons and the Night's Champion, but I believe the comic actually revolves around crystals. I'm not too sure how the crystals relate to Atavash, maybe I missed that bit of information and if that's the case then I apologize, but the significance of these crystals could have been mentioned sooner instead of the lore about Atavash's death.

In the end, as I mentioned with Daknight, it is your comic, so please don't let my review put you down! All that I have mentioned is the opinion of one person. You have some amazing talent and it's very apparent how much time you've put into creating your world. Keep up the great work!

inbox_anime
Jun '18

Thank you very much for the review,. Note taken and will implement the changes from next chapter.. Really appreciate it. Thank you. :slight_smile:

inbox_anime
Jun '18

Yes it is, currently working on d next chapter, so all reviews are appreciated..

diestreve319
Jun '18

Hi! Please review Searching For Kazehaya. It is a fancomic/doujinshi of Kimi ni Todoke. I collaborated with Rei-chan, the artist/illustrator. I'm the writer of the story/fan fiction. Together, we are Dream Studios. Thank you for your time. :slight_smile:

Daknight
Jun '18
antwyonsimpson

Here is the review! :smiley:

-Art-

I like the character design, gives me feeling of various influences going on (Dragon Ball, Yu-yu hakusho and Hunter x Hunter). I would say your lines art could be a bit more smooth as in parts it looks a bit rough, and in some it overlaps in certain parts. I do like the variety of thickness use giving it a nice look.

Try to incorporate more variety of poses, for now all I see mostly is full frontal, full side ways and 3/4 views. Since this will likely be a fighting/action style comic poses during battles are important and variety is what makes them interesting!

I like the black and white aspect, though I suggest adding a bit more greyscale in parts. This will help with backgrounds later on (to differentiate and created different levels of shadows).

Great use of speed lines, I could really feel the movement aspect when he was running threw the jungle. I would try to make punch impact more noticeable, make the body that is receiving the punch have more impact look (speedlines around the layout) to sell the impact more.

Overall I do like your art and I can see you'll improve in no time!

-Writting-

Is a bit weird when you don't use the ' in abbreviated words. You should really try using ' in words like its (it's), im (I'm) didnt (didn't). Those little details are very important in text as people will point it out at one point or another. Also use commas and end sentences, for example this one:

I dont know its just something about that guy hikaru Im not sure I can beat him

It should read:

I don't know. It's just something about that guy Hikaru. I'm not sure I can beat him.

Outside of this thing (Which is more grammar stuff mostly) I like the ammount of text, things get straight to the point without repetition and I do like the use of 'sound effects' overall.

-Paneling-

I like the amount of space between panels, expect in the last chapter where there is barely any. That one is a more calm moment where he is in his room and they are talking, spacing them out a bit more gives a good feeling of relax non combat feel. Outside of that I like you use different kind of panels and sizes.

-Story-

I got to admit I got a bit confuse when his 'shadow' appear out of the blue for no apparent reason. If he had maybe receive say a hit and we see a bit of shadow escape from the hit and then after the fight his shadow figure might make more sense. Outside of this I the story hasn't progress much so is a bit hard to give it a fair review, but I am liking the foreshadowing (on his shadow self, etc, etc) and of course the clearly indication of more fighting! :smiley:

I hope this helps you out and you are able to continue improving!

Daknight
Jun '18
diestreve319

Oh wow, I actually read your comic on webtoons (and subscribed there) xP Ok, here is my review!!

-Art-

I love the use of color and gives a clear feeling of the season (spring). I like that in the first few panels you establish her room, the town and school wish I am sure will be center pieces overall to the story. The outline is perfect by not going fully black outline but using the color of the clothing (though a darker shade of course). It really works with romance type stories!

The amount of backgrounds you have is amazing, I think I rarely see any panel without background which is great, gives a lot of life to the world they are in.

Great shadows too, I do believe softer shadow like the one you are using do fit love stories more compare to hard shadows use. Great lighting too, love that it changes depending on the scene and location giving a good impression that she is moving around (and everything around her for that matter).

-Writing-

Is actually what had me hook to start, her self monologue explaining her views of the world and what she loves, the variety of fonts depending on the mood she is (as well as using the text box colo for mood too). Dialogue is easy to follow and understand, great use of font.

Love the effects too, using different fonts there too depending on the 'sound' is great.

-Paneling-

I love that you make great use of the webcomic format as your comic clearly is a vertical style one. I do feel some panels lack border in parts (they have borders in some areas, but lack one to the right or left most of the time. I think closing them completely would make them look better, of course some don't need them (the long ones for example).

Overall great use of webcomic format and love the long scrolling panel,

-Story-

Great intro as it gives most of the details we need to be able to follow the rest of the story. Also great use of the art telling us part of the story without the need for text such as lack of friends, people in her online group losing interest in the manga she still clearly loves. I can feel her loneliness and she just wanting to have a friend to talk to.

I haven't read the comic this is based on, but I do hope things don't necessary happen the same as in that one. I do love the inspiration and it making most of her life about it, but I do hope future events in her actual life story are different from the mange she loves. I think it would be interesting seeing the events she dreams about (the manga) actually be different in real life (maybe similar start, but different when they end).

Hope this helps, you have a really good hook in the start, great art and great writing :smiley:

diestreve319
Jun '18

Hi, Darknight! :slight_smile:
Thank you so much for your positive review. It truly inspires and helps me and my collaborator to continue with our episodes of Searching For Kazehaya. I'm so happy to know that you enjoyed the art and story of Searching For Kazehaya. It means a lot to me and to my collaborator. Again, thank you so much!
:slight_smile: ^_^ :smiley:

yondoloki
Jun '18

I would like a review of my comic The Changeling's Sister :slight_smile:

GalacticPotato
Jun '18

Hey, it would be pretty awesome of you could review my comic, i've had some reviews before and they mostly mention the backgrounds need some work, but i'd like a better point of reference on what to improve, and you reviews are really well done.
Here's the thing:


It's really short, only 34 pages so far, but take your time.

sfkdreamstudios
Jun '18
Daknight

Rei: Hi there! I'm the artist for Searching For Kazehaya, and thank you so much for your thorough review! We're glad you like what you see so far! :smiley:
If you don't mind, what did you mean by "The outline is perfect by not going fully black outline but using the color of the clothing (though a darker shade of course)"? Did you mean the speech bubbles, or the line art? I use black for the lineart, but it does appear gray/lighter in color due to the lighting layers I use afterwards. Thanks for following us on Webtoons! It's so awesome to see someone from there! :smiley: <3

Daknight
Jun '18
yondoloki

Here is the review! :smiley:

-Art-

I see you made huge improvement from how it started! Thicker lines, better expression and overall improvement. I do like that you kept the coloring style and just improve on it. It gives you story a nice touch giving the horror/drama feeling to it which works really well!

Your clothing and era feel are on point! I am a sucker for that Victoria age clothing and you nail it! All I can say is to keep the good work as I can tell you are indeed improving each passing chapter!

-Writing-

I am a bit conflicted on this, I think the writing is actually well done, great font, great usage of different bubble colors depending on the scene. Yet the writing is modern style in term of there speech pattern and way of speaking, which might seem weird giving the Victoria age time. I don't mind it, but I think dialogue using the period time might be better suited to give that feeling of this being in that time line. This is more a nitpicking than saying it should cause I do believe the current style is easier for readers in general.

I really like that you make the 'sound effect' have action to if it needs it (the 'fhump' of her falling from the window being the best example).

-Paneling-

I see this is a one page update so it keeps the traditional comic paneling style and is really well done. I am not 100% sure on the black border and reason is that I (and many readers) got use to and associate black border to past events (as in border go black when we are looking at events in the past or a character past). This is more an opinion cause I actually do like the black in this case cause it makes the color stand out and give a heavier feeling to the story. Just another of my observations is all.

-Story-

Way to keep someone engage and interested! Love the start of it, maybe I would had kept the abduction hidden a bit to cause even the readers to question a bit more 'Was she just badly hurt once (the scars part)...is the sister real?' and then when the face part is reveal you do the bit of showing the past with the alien to make the audience go 'OOOOOH'. Those kind of secrets keep one interested and invested. Even then you are doing a great job with the whole mystery of 'why was the sister taken? why is this doll/clone bad? how will she learn about her real sister?'

I for one am interested in finding this answers!

You got a really great comic and I hope to see more of it :smiley:

Daknight
Jun '18
GalacticPotato

Here is the review:

-Art-

Another show of improvement. Lines are full now and thicker (in the start they would be gaps between lines sometimes and they were thin). You have a nice variety of poses and expression which is really nice. I am guessing the anatomy is a choice (as in head big and body smaller than the average compare to the head). I believe it work giving the character are not humans giving it it's own unique style.

As for your main concern which was the background I notice you do include more of them such as the police station, interrogation room, etc. I'll use one big example to maybe help you out, it is chapter one - page 28.

This is REALLY, REALLY overabundance of blue, try to find something to break the blue pattern on the wall. Maybe have say a bulletin board in the wall behind one of the characters with it having warnings or other stuff. The point is to have something that makes sense that it should be in the room they are in and helps you break the blue a bit.

Also try not making the floor the same color as the walls, something that happens in your latest chapters (the two being the same colors). Is really rare to find the walls and floor be the same color no matter where you go. If you do, the floor normally has a pattern or something that makes it different than the walls.

-Writing-

I like that you give each character their own form of speaking, giving a nice character to each one. The colored bubbles are also a nice touch helping to know who is saying what in each page. You use good amount of text, not to much but enough to give us all the information we need!

Great coloring on the sound effect to give them that nice extra feeling to them!

-Paneling-

I see is the one page update format, keeping with the standard comic method. I believe it is the best method for one page updates and you are consistent on the space left in between panels. I see that you decide to different the page by making them black (instead of the usual white), is a nice idea, just remember some people associated black black page with it being past events. I doubt they will with yours giving they are all in this pattern

-Story-

I like the concept of the multiverse, though not much has happen to show this (outside of those two falling to one), but the seed is planted and I am sure it'll come up again later on in the story. You have a good pace and are moving the story forward in a good way as it also build up the characters as the story moves (character growth). I look forward to more development and to learn of the situation of the other two lost in the multi-verse!

Keep up the good work and I hope this helps you improve in some aspect.

antwyonsimpson
Jun '18
Daknight

Thanks for the review. i really appreciate it. Its funny you brought up HxH as in influence bc i didnt even know about that at all when i came up with this concept. DBZ is an influence but not a huge one aside from my main characters hair which is a YYH reference as well obviously lol.. I have alot of obvious references in this comic a really big one is the city they live in - Kyyber City which is reference to lightsaber crystals from Star Wars. Even though my story has alot of fighting and combat i really wanted to lean more towards a fantasy/horror type comic later on, for now i just wanted to set up the world and my main characters. For the pages i have up so far i wanted to set up the mental state of my OC Raizao and the reason i had inconsistent background shading is to show the dream hes in breaking down. I guess it didnt work out as planned though. And the shadow popping up out of nowhere was supposed to be an indication of the dream hes in. The way i wanted to set it up is that In the first panel you see his shadow in the tree and you think its Raizao but then when he pops up you realize its not and that hes been followed and stalked this whole time. I understand the confusion. Also the first 13 pages of this comic were made in 2016 and i edited them and tried to fix a few things. Ultimately i decided to keep them to show my progression. I agree with the posing problems. This is something ive tried to remedy in my later pages that i havent posted yet. The panel spacing is something i wondered about but i can fix it in Manga studio. Again thanks for the review ^^ ill defintiely take the advice/tips to heart..