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Nov 2016

Granted, but people only love you for your booty, forcing you to wear thongs and twerk on camera to retain your audience.

I wish I owned a private jet

Wish granted. But you cannot fly in it alone and must always bring your enemy with you on the plane. It is horribly decorated inside and smells disgusting. You regret the wish.

I wish I didn't have depression.

16 days later

You have happiness now! you act like you're always high on anti-depressants and eventually you become happy about being depressed and KYS.

I wish for no one to wish...

you wished for no one to wish and resulted to the death of all genies in all dimensions. you were punished and turned into a genie yourself and thus sentenced to fulfill all wishes till the end of the world.
and i wish for the world not to end.

Congratulations. You are now stuck in a time loop. The world doesn't end, right?

I wish I had brush calligraphy ink.

You get your brush calligraphy ink. However, whenever you try to write or draw, ink spills everywhere...oh god! It's on the walls too! And the floors! YOU ARE DROWNING IN INK!

I wish my crippling depression would disappear.

(Me: SHIGERUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!! //gurgle blub)

Your crippling depression disappears, but you are now left with a condition that makes you happy about anything and everything. You soon end up becoming a serial killer clown.

I wish I have a faster reaction time.

Your reaction time is fast. REALLY FAST. Too fast infact. You movements go at about 100 km/h. You move, then realize you have no way of stopping. You end up crashing into a tree like a fatal car crash.

I wish I could finish all my homework in an hour.

Granted. You start on math, but find you cannot stop. You must solve all of the homework that will ever be assigned to you. Every Essay, problem, project. Your hands burn with the work as you finish piece after piece. This then extands into your work life. All your goals you wish to have accomplished later are finished now. The burning reaches up your arms and into your soul. You are no more.
Atleast the homework is finished.

I wish i had a kitten i could cuddle with.

Granted. The "kitten" is an extremely irritated liger that eats your face off.

I wish for the gumption to actually study for my exams.

18 days later

You get a bunny, but it turns out to be the flesh eating rabbit from Monty Python's Holy Grail.

I wish I didn't have shitty self esteem.

You have great self esteem, but your ego is so large, people don't like being around you.

I wish for a genie with incorruptable wishes.

the genie only speaks in an ancient language, he can't understand you, he can only follow you.
Everywhere.

Granted!

Everyone has a great holiday, even those who don't do the holidays which makes them terribly unhappy. frowning

I wish for a green shroom.

You get the green shroom, but it releases poisonous spores and you die.

I wish I was a magical girl! ・゜゚・:.。..。.:・'(゚▽゚*)'・:.。. .。.:・゜゚・*
(Already setting myself up for kyuubey jokes and death)