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Sep 2015

Because there's a dearth of forum games here...

So, pretty simple game, a poster makes a wish, then the person below corrupts it and hen makes their own wish. For example:

Billy-Bob- I wish for fish

Cletus- Granted, the fish is a shark and eats you.
I wish for world peace.

....And so on. Got it? Now...

I wish I was a cat.

You are a cat who walks outside and is promptly hit by a car.

I wish for a donut.

Suddenly you are hit from behind by a car that was doing a doughnut after unknowingly hitting a strange cat.

I wish for a one hundred dollar bill.

The hundred dollar bill is a fake from Monopoly.

I wish for a unicorn.

You forget her, him, it, everyone including yourself.

I wish for immortality!

You live to see everyone you ever knew die. You eventually are buried in a landslide where you are trapped in a claustrophobic nightmare grave; starving, suffocating, and unable to move or scratch that itch behind your ear for billions of years until the sun explodes. You are forced to endure unimaginable heat, suffering a pain the human mind is not meant to endure. You then float across a cold and empty universe alone for all eternity.

I wish I was the king of the world!

Your nice hat sends you to Slytherin.

I wish for a better way of understanding subatomic physics.

Finding out a better way to understand subatomic physics eventually kills you in the process.

I wish for a better sense of humor.

Your better sense of humour makes people laugh so much several die from lack of oxygen and you're now on trail for manslaughter.

I wish I wasn't so sleepy all the time.

Your newfound sense of humor is so profound and cutting edge no one gets it and you die a misunderstood genius.

I wish to back in time and become a cocaine drug lord in miami circa 1981.

Your cocaine dealing makes your cocaine habit turn into a cocaine addiction, but you can't seek help since that would involve turning yourself in

I wish I could bring Shakespeare back to life!

Shakespeare has been revived by the means of black magic. Unfortunately he's a zombie and other zombies have been revived, so now there's a apocolyps in action. Also you got bit.

I wish my cat could fly.

Your beloved cat flew away and never came back D:

I wish to be a multi-billionaire.

After winning the lottery/finding a secret oil well, tou become a multi-billionaire. However, random people from everywhere start to try to get at your money.

I wish Halloween was here already.

You are now the proud owner of a refurbished Blackberry phone. Don't you look like a business-guy!

I wish for a teleportation device.

you teleport out into space and wander the void of the cosmos, eventually freezing over and dying.

I wish for an elephant.

You get one, but how the heck are you going to care for such a huge animal?!

I wish I was famous.

You become famous, but then realize it isn't all it is cut out to be and end up depressed, not sure who your real friends are anymore, and you have been divorced five times.

I wish that animals could talk.

They just say the MOST racist, hateful things you can imagine, and now everyone's in an emotional turmoil over whether the Animal Protection & Conservation agencies and organizations (and their ideals) have any reason to be now that they're to the service of bigots.

I wish nothing bad happened to me and my dear ones, ever.

Having not experienced true loss for far too long, you grow insulated and content, cut off from the harsher whims of fate, and indeed, the rest of human experience. You--and everyone you've ever cared about--remain exactly as you are now, snapshots frozen in time. There is no more pain. You never grow as people, never learn anything new. Incidentally, assuming death constitutes "bad," you'll all live through eternity, slowly going insane over eons of loneliness and eventually experience the inevitable heat death of the universe.

I wish I was independently wealthy and could afford to draw my comics all day.

Ohhhh this game smile

@fishy You never want to sleep again and end up dying of sleep deprivation frowning

@andychrist You inherit this independent wealth from all your loved ones who listed you in their will simultaneously dying due to mysterious causes frowning

I wish that I will see all outcomes of this wish as positive things stuck_out_tongue

EDIT: @Silverberry You just said

"All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive."

6 times stuck_out_tongue

And the fact that it's true isn't really paradoxical smile btw what does it mean for something to be "positive to" something? confused

DOUBLE EDIT: I think I get it wink

All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive.All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive. All outcomes of this wish came out positive, that is to say the wish, which was that all outcomes of this wish was positive, was positive which is to say that all outcomes of this wish was positive and that this wish's outcome was positive to the wish that all outcomes of this wish was positive.

This keeps on going to the end of eternity. Congratulations you made a paradox!

I wish for an awesome talking friendly sentient spaceship to go on adventures with!

I meant that that outcome of your wish was positive, a good thing, to you making a wish for a good thing. I was thinking of a cyclical format where your wish had a positive outcome to the wish that wished for positive outcomes.

Does that make sense?

Wish unclear. Your talking friendly sentient spaceship is now your penis. Adventures ensue.

I wish for the ability to shoot infinite amounts of ketchup from my hands at will like spiderman.

Wish granted, but it's the nasty, separated, watery kind of ketchup and no amount of shaking your hands will thicken it.

I wish I never had to sleep again.

This works in my favor. Now I can be rude and disappointing at the same time.

You gain the powers of The Flash and not you are the fastest typist alive.

I wish for Curry with Rice.

You have some curry and rice but it's extremely spicy and gives you diarrhea.

I wish I could turn into a dragon

You are a dragon, but your house is to small to acomodate dragons and you can't leave through the door or windows and you certainly don't want to damage any of your stuff.

I wish for a Stay Puff Marshmallow Man that can't detroy New York.

You become the Stay Puff Marshmallow man, and in New York thousands swarm upon you to feast upon your mallowed flesh.

I wish I wasn't so emotional.

You turn into a rock. Goodbye emotions!

(This part is hard - I'm really superstitious and don't like wishing argh)

If only I could fly!

Max Max: Fury Road doesn't win the award for best picture, instead, the director is handed a picture of the reward they sadly missed out on...
.... It was a really nice picture, though.

I wish for world peace! What could go wrong!?

The world becomes technologically stagnant because there's no drive to innovate and develop new technologies now that there's no wars; and hundreds of thousands of people go unemployed now that their field of business (war, weaponry, national security, etc) no longer exists. A peaceful status quo is acheieved: no more wars, but no more change, either. For the rest of humanity's history, this, our current social landscape, will be the norm, no matter its pros or cons. We will never go to Mars or discover interstelllar voyage. We will never develop new means of communication. We will never truly explore the potential of clean, alternative systems; making us terminally dependant on oil. Global warming will never stop, and we'll have to bid farewell to a few countries as the years go by. The Maldives, the Seychelles, and a huge chunk of the Netherlands, all gone. Animals go extinct with the climate change. Diseases like the AIDS, Cancer, and the Common Flu will never have a cure now that they're simply seen as "manageable". Religion will eventually lose value, but soon the notion of culture and folklore will do the same, and so will the idea of "nation" and "nationality". There will be no borders, but there will be no sense of belonging, either. We'll live as we currently are for a couple centuries before we lose our own identity -- the human texture across the world. We will be as flavorless as the air, and like it, and in time, we'll be gone with the wind, without ever leaving a trace of our existence for whoever finds us in the vast emptiness of space.

I wish for a puppy.