Title: Alpha Edrox
Author: @Maxedrox Status:Latest Episode
Criticism: Tameaf, run away from the stick!
Steady your heart, my friend, this might feel a bit heavy.
I'll tell you this in advance. There are some people that don't mind about the issues I'm about to point out. If you want to connect to a larger audience, however...
Episode 1 was a huge dump of information. It felt cute at the first, but currently having 0 investment in the story—such a huge amount of exposition couldn't keep my attention. Remember the "Show, don't tell." rule.
Although the rule has many ways in which it could be applied, I believe this is the advice needed to be given to you. Since you start off with a sort of Pokemon vibe, I'll use that as a basis.
When you start a pokemon game, the professor in charge of the region only gives you a brief overview, doesn't he? You learn everything about the game slowly throughout your gameplay. He doesn't immediately hit you with a manual of how things work.
At the first few episodes, your timeline keeps bouncing back and forth, making things a bit hard to digest. I'm trying to make sense of what is happening since episodes don't last too long. I feel you have to work on your transitions a bit more. A simple but crude fix to this would be adding a timeline or dream sequence indicator.(It's up to you which technique you use—write it out plainly, or do something quirky with the panels. There are lots of ways to go about it.)
I see you did the blank, diminishing panels technique for transitioning, but from what I know of, they're usually used to indicate the passage of time. I only understood that the latter part of chapter 4 was a dream sequence when someone pointed it out on the comments.
By Episode 6—I hate to be harsh, but... Nothing much has happened so far, yet there is already what—about a cast of 10 characters? I received this same criticism before back when I started writing. And I'll tell you what they told me(In simpler terms).
It's hard to relate to any of them—you've just started the series, then you've dumped a lot of info and a lot characters. It would've been best to start with a small circle, then slowly introduce other characters after your current ones have become memorable enough to your audience.
The character profiles appearing after every episode would be a nice touch, if the chapters were long enough to have showcased enough of said character.
After reaching the latest episode, I see a major problem. You're trying to do too many things at once. Your pacing is a bit erratic as you try to portray a lot of things happening at once, which isn't too much of a big deal—IF you've established your characters. Remember, you may know your characters, but your readers don't. There's only so much they can glean from a simple profile. Even Feith, who I assume is your main character, has so little presence in 10 episodes.
The comic isn't bad, mind you. It's just a bit hard to digest, and readers are picky eaters.
Compliments: Your creature designs are cute, they seem distinguishable from the already well-known digi and poke monsters. Your art, yes, has shown improvement as you progressed through your chapters. Your character profiles are good, but I suggest separating them from your episodes and compiling them into a Glossary episode.
Love the effort put into your gif panels!
Dessert: I feel like what I've said might be hard to swallow, but I hope you don't become disheartened. Nobody can run before first learning to walk.
As long as the passion to improve is there—you will thrive. So keep up the grind!
