90 / 119
Dec 2015

Well I guess this is as good a time as ever. I have two webcomics:

The first is called Kalwa its the story of a bored teenage girl who finds a time traveling cellphone on the beach. To which she embarks on a series of adventures, some more dangerous than the last. Currently it has finished its first chapter and is on its way through its second chapter.

The second is called Kaiju Academy1, its a strip comic about a school for Kaiju, mostly focusing on the duo of Darryl and Phillip. Currently five strips have been completed.

Thanks in advance

15 days later

Hey mate, I suggest you read the very first post of this topic before asking for a review.
This is a participative topic, you have to review the three comics above you then leave a link to one of yours so that the next person reviews the three comics above him etc.

I'm not sure what the last three are exactly though. @Jrej ?

ps : Try to give thorough reviews, one line for each doesn't cut it (sorry @toadsteroven)

Wow things got mixed up here!
We should really remind after each post which reviews are needed!
Hallowed and Sherzo both need one more review.
Handrawn/PIC and Empire are next with two more...
Finally there's Life of an Aspie and Johnny Bullet...

What I suggest is that we keep on going with Handrawn and Raw, Empire and Johnny Bullet1 and I'll cover the rest as soon as I have a moment.

Let's get this train back on track!

Ok, I read Life of an Aspie, Kaiju Academy, and Empire.

Here we go:

@Greenraptorstudios:

Kaiju academy

First impression: Fun premise, funny designs, simple but effective coloring!

Art: Once again, simple is key here, but it works. The kaiju designs are fun and very close to the genre. I think it's going down a good road, just keep at it.

Characters: Principal Butterfly made me chuckle in her entrance, and the other characters seem fun, although very rushed. I'd like to get to know them a little more, kind of like how Calvin and Hobbes make it work through interactions and opinions more than just the goal each have in mind.

Story There isn't much plot since it just started, although I would have liked to see our protagonist's attempts to enter their desired fields rather than skip to the test results. Not much to say since...again, just started.

Recommendations: In the words of Jackie Chan, slow and steady wins the race. You have an interesting concept that can work as a fun parody, it just started so I think you're off to a good start. Focus more on the characters ad the road you're heading into rather than moving the plot along too quickly.

Final words: You have a good sense of what you want, and I think it'll go great, just really get out there and experiment!

Total: 7.5/10 and I subscribed!

@guily57:

Empire

First impression: Ooh, use that font minimum as possible...art looks very much like the Kishimoto brothers' art style, which can be used for its advantage. There's work on this though. Scenes could be placed a little better too.

Art: ...The action panels are a little confusing. Anatomy is almost there, I also recommend some daily practice and you'll see the style really land itself, but it's not bad. Still, the paneling and sequences of the action could use a second viewing before publishing. I was a little confused.

Characters: Kind of what you'd expect in a shonen manga: brash, hot-headed but kind-hearted protagonist, the brooding rival, equally funny best friend of the protagonist, and the girl at the end? I think this is your weakest bits, sadly.

Story Why is the school training people to fight? Is it military? If so, why isn't uniformity a thing? I think it should use other inspirations to expand a bit, but I think my interest peeked with the old man lending a hand to the main character (pun intended). I'm curious on the world and its rules but I think you showed what you could at where you are right now in the story, good job. (again my biggest issue is the setting of the story itself and the laws)

Recommendations: Practice some anatomy whenever you can, but you're getting there. Work on the paneling and study a bit more how they work, (I recommend books on storyboarding and composition) and really try to mold your characters beyond what you currently have, although to be fair you're also just starting out.

Final words: Keep at it, really. Your heart's in the right place, you just need to push yourself a little harder to step out of the box, but I think you can make it.

Total: 6/10

@toadsteroven:

Life of an Aspie

First impression: Ok, interesting cover page. Uh...are those cuts or stains? I don't know if it's my computer but some things appear too pixelated. Anatomy is off. However the premise of a person with Asperger's as a focus, is very interesting.

Art: Practice, practice, practice. I recommend taking some anatomy lessons even online and this includes drawing the naked body along with some portraits. The project has heart, but the anatomy is very distracting.

Characters: It's very...much like a manga from the 2000's. Not that it's a bad thing, some of my favorites are from that decade, but an US American....English...? girl in a Japanese boarding school seems a tad bland. I think the idea of the concept, which I wouldn't be so pushy about it if it wasn't in the title, is a miss more than a hit in this almost too-expected setting. I don't know who Hiroshi is and by the end I was kind of lost on story and location...sorry. A lot of same-face syndrome in characters of the same gender.

Story Again, the premise is lost a bit. Paneling isn't too bad, but it could be better. I recommend reading books by Scott McCloud for this, it helps A LOT!

Recommendations: Study anatomy, every day, for 30 minutes minimum. Do quick gesture drawings, study weight, draw skeleton maps, turn it into a habit and you'll start seeing differences in how characters look and react. It'll be tough but you'll be thankful for it later. We joke about this in art school that you need One Punch Man discipline to properly draw, and it's true! Do it every day and try to shift the focus on the characters, much like Kaiju Academy, your strongest setting should be them to really take it out of the box.

Final words: Don't give up on the comic! Keep at it!

Total: 4/10

Finally, there's my comic, Cosmic Fish1

Thanks much for your review. I'm very happy that we earned a 7.5. The beginning was slightly rushed, because we wanted get the basic need to establish out of the way. We are now done with introductions so it's fun stuff ahead, and thanks for subscribing.

I agree with you art wise. I've been putting it off (improving my art that is) in favor of other things lately namely a guest comic I've been drawing for a subscriber/friend with her own comic, but I intend to get back to the grind of working on my own material after the first of the new year.

Story wise, there will be a lot more going for LooA once I start updating it again on a regular basis. It'll be one of those stories that starts out kinda slow and maybe even a tad familiar to (x)-ish, but I'm certain that once things start moving at a regular pace, LooA will no doubt find its own voice story wise. Also I'm rather curious as to what you meant by manga from the 2000's when you were talking about my characters? Could you please elaborate on that a bit? smile

@jrej... The order got messed up again... I'm not sure which comics should get a review next... I guess Hallowed, Sherzo and Empire both need one more review, Handrawn and Raw and Life of an Aspie need two and Johnny Bullet needs three.

So if you cover Hallowed, Sherzo and Life of an Aspie when you have time, like you said earlier, the next three reviews should still be (in that order) :

1) Empire
2) Handrawn and Raw
3) Johnny Bullet

Here are my bonus reviews!

Hallowed: @windikite

Your comic has a mysterious atmosphere. Not much of the plot revealed but I'm sure there'd be more later.I could really put myself in your main character's shoes, wandering through this dark dream...

I would point out the lack of detailed background with the first pages and very stiff one later on. It makes sense if you were setting a cloudy/foggy atmosphere though.

I like you page layout, a lot of good ideas. Keep it up! I can already see a progression in your art!

Scherzo: @laikoozie

This is a really cinematic and professional looking comic. Reminds me of an episode of Cowboy Bebop. It definitely deserves more readers!

The universe you've set is really fascinating! I do have a lot of questions popping up about how this world works but answers are spread out along the story. Makes me want to stick around and learn more about it.

The characters are still pretty mysterious. Seems like they have a dark past and interesting connections. I like that several stories are crossing path, covering same locations.
The tension really builds up! I'm sure more awesomeness is around the corner!

Handrawn and Raw: @CPY

A lot of interesting plots. It really makes you think but I found them very sad. I hope you get around happy endings as well or redemptions at least. I wouldn't want to read too many depressing stories... But that's my personal preference.

The art is actually pretty detailed. I like the face expression and how recognizable the characters are! You put a lot of effort setting up the scenes and on funny little things.

The format of short stories really work for you. I would continue with that. Becareful with spelling mistakes in the begining and text position for a smooth reading. Otherwise a lot of potential even though you call it raw. You definitely get better as you go.

Life As an Aspie: @toadsteroven

With only one episode at the moment, the plot hasn't really picked up but seems promising.

The art is pretty simple especially with backgrounds but you use interesting body posture, face expression and varied camera angles.

I would be careful with textures you're applying, some don't work with screens and make a distracting glowing effect. It really takes me out of the story.

I have to say the stains of blood/mud all over the characters at first was distracting too. Couldn't figure out what it was as it usually does not spread like this.
Too bad because you use shading and good body proportions, you should enhance that.

I had a hard time figuring out the transition from video game to real life. Maybe more hints or visual explanation are needed.

Otherwise you seem to have a very precise idea of where the story is going. Keep it up. I am sure more adventures are to come!

Johnny Bullet: @ToonDoctor

And finally a look at Johnny Bullet. I actually started this topic by reviewing your comic and it's with pleasure that I'm back at it.

I actually get used to your unusual format. I like it better than the new mobile version. I hope you consider one day switching to full pages. I think it would really enhance your long form story arch. But I respect that you stand by your concept.

I love the vibe of your comic. Such a great retro ambiance with plot twist and charistmatic characters. The way you draw cars is amazing. I can tell it is your strong suit. Car chases are awesome. You really improved compared to the beginning, keeping your recognizable style!

You deserve more readers. I hope you find your rythm and your audience. I would totally see Johnny Bullet as an animated series! I see a lot of potential in your series. Keep it up! I'm sure it will lead you somewhere good!

That's it for my bonus reviews everyone!
Please don't consider this post for the following review!!!
Next up should be:
1/Empire2
2/Johnny Bullet1
3/ Cosmic Fish1

I guess I meant more when it was a time of my life I read most manga, I can't remember the last time I read one that wasn't ongoing (I read a lot of Osamu Tezuka last year, for example so that doesn't count). So back then I read a lot of school-setting things, when the Japanese culture was more interested in the welcoming of english-speaking exchange students more than their sudden inclusion of France as it is nowdays. I didn't mean it in a bad way, just the vibe i was getting. :U but definitely continue

@Jrej Thank you very much for the very encouraging comments. I get very little feedback from the Tapastic community and often it comes from people who don't understand that I'm trying to emulate older comic strips. I understand that the look and feel of Johnny Bullet is not what is expected today in 2015. It's a totally different experience. I wish more people like you would give it a chance.

I created the new mobile version to see if I could access more readers who the mobile apps instead. Perhaps this will remove some of the apprehensions that people unfamiliar with older comic strips have.

A Johnny Bullet cartoon? Hell yeah!

You're very welcome. Good to see you still on tapastic. I thought I read you wanted to leave at some point. This platform brought me quite a few readers so I would recommend anyone sticking around at least as a mirror site!

Thank you for the words of support. After a brief period of discouragement, I decided to stick it out.

Woo! 100th post! Let's keep this going!!!

@guily57's EMPIRE:

First impression: I immediately thought of Naruto and One Piece when I read your prologue. As other people have said, that font is not so easy to read but I see you've switched to a much better one so scratch that. XS

Art: In the first couple pages, I found that it wasn't very clear what was going on. In the bear scene, I was having trouble figuring out what I was looking at. I didn't realize that Katsuo was holding a weapon until after the bear ran away. (I thought the ball thing with the black bands was a playground swing -because Katsuo mentions a 'swing'- and it had fallen out of the tree and scared the bear.... yeah my brain is weird.) As the comic goes on your portrayal of action becomes clearer. ( I can tell you like the aforementioned Shonen titles and it shows that you're paying attention to how those artists lay out scenes. Keep it up!) Because I stumbled at the beginning there, I might as well reiterate the importance of establishing shots and making sure you show what's moving when an action takes place. You can definitely find artistic ways around this but don't leave your viewers to put the pieces together on their own 100% of the time as you might get people like me who get hilariously lost.

Characters: I like that you seem to introduce most characters in the middle of a conflict. It's one thing to have characters who show up and then proceed to ramble on about their life's story (One Punch Man parody's this - you might enjoy it.) but to have them showing us who they are and where they're staring from in the story is much more effective. It really left me curious to find out more about them! Katsuo reminded me of a certain other spikey haired, Japanese 'warrior' with facial markings. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but I hope as the story goes on that he will grow in his own way. (Also: Please let Naomi become more that just the protagonist's crush...)

Technical: Okay, your skills definitely develop as the story moves on. More dynamic poses, clearer action, etc. You're headed in the right direction. IF you haven't started this already, use references. I find a fun exercise to practice paneling and pacing is to reverse-storyboard movies and TV shows. As you're watching, quickly sketch out what you see in between each camera change as if it were a comic panel. (Youtube videos are better for this because you can pause and replay more easily.)

Final Words: I liked Naruto and your comic shares a lot of the same themes that made me a fan. Just be sure to make this story your own. Don't let it be restricted by the 'Naruto formula'.

5/10 - You're on the right track and clearly have the passion to achieve your goals with this comic!

@ToonDoctor's Johnny Bullet

First Impression: Wow, things are moving fast!

Art: I like the simple black and white style. You seem to have a good handle on values. However, I would like to see a more consistent middle ground. A grey (or the illusion of grey with one of your crazy detailed textures) would be put to good use in separating your characters of objects of interest from the ground in some panels. This really feels like something out of the 60/70s. It was really a really refreshing to look at. Also: HOT DANG, can you draw cars!

Characters: It took me awhile to really start to understand who everyone was. Even after a few strips/pages I was pretty lost. For example, in #2, Johnny talks to the guy with the curly hair and moustache and even after taking my notes for this review I'm still not sure who he is. I got the names of a bunch of girls who Johnny talks to but not the guy who is giving his assignments right off the bat. I will say I liked the backstory of how he met Doug. It was at that point that I started to actually care about the main character and what happened to him and his friends.

Technical: I like your layout choice. It contributes to the 60/70s vibe. I understand that means you only have so much space to work with in each strip but sometimes the 'end' seems rushed or awkward. It's not always possible to do all the time but: I really enjoy when the strips leave me intrigued for more. Ie: #24 and "how long can I keep this up?" or #6 and "It's not johnny who crashed."

Final thoughts: You've got something that feels classic to me. Keep it up!

6/10 - You really don't find comics like yours anymore.

@efdvorsky's Cosmic Fish:

First impression: SPAAACE! FORESTY JUNGLE! ALIENS! I'm in.

Art: Your colouring skills rock. The atmosphere is beautiful. The jungle in the first handful of pages feels both familliar and alien, and mysterious and like someone's home at the same time. With the first 4 pages there you did a fantastic job of telling me where we are by saying nothing. Already this comic is right up my alley and as my first impression thingy said, I'm in.

Characters: Agh! Awesome character design. The Krazzle immediately comes across as both someone I'd want to be friends with and someone who is definitely in charge or a leader. Which is cool because I'm sure if I met them in real life, I'd be freaking out. (As in both scared and excited. Can I ride them? Can I gush about their tail? Wow their eyes are giant!!!) The ghost is well designed. Immediately I was curious about why it was there, why it was broken up and again I was intrigued to know more. Acantha is all kinds of the best.

Technical: Your world is really well developed. It all seems to fit together... as wonderland-like and out-there as it seems. You really have a handle on pacing and you had me giggling with your well timed punchlines and reaction shots. It's seriously good. Why don't you have more readers?

Final thoughts: Sorry this was more of a gush than a serious review. Your comic is just my type. I have subscribed and I'm happier for it. wink

8/10 - So biased. I love it.

The next three comics to be reviewed will be:
Johnny Bullet2 by @ToonDoctor
Cosmic Fish2 by @efdvorsky
and The Chronicles of Oro2 by me!

I'm blushing so much right now from this review

Thank you so, so, so much I'm so glad you liked it!

1 month later

Such detailed reviews @Jewe11s ! Very well done.
The topic kind of got lost during the holiday...
But 100 posts is quite impressive!

Just a reminder, next up are:
- Johnny Bullet3
- Cosmic Fish1
- The Chronicles of Oro1

It's a good opportunity to get feedback on your work and discover new series at the same time so don't be shy! wink

1 month later

The offer still stands.
Anyone in for reviews.
I think this is actually an awesome way to discover new stories and artists.
Feel free to jump in.

I've bookmarked this, and am looking forward to taking part in it! It's a great idea. I want to get a just little further into my comic's first chapter before I put it up here for review, though.

Hello! I just thought I'd share my series: The Middle Crowd1
I've rolled through this thread and see a lot of active posters, which is awesome! That being said, I've just arrived and hope to return the favor when I get the chance!

The Middle Crowd1

Please be upfront and blunt! Tell me what works, what doesn't, what could use improvement! I will appreciate any feedback!