Hannahcomb's Comic Art Workshop! (Submissions Open)

[maelstrom51210]

Well, shucks, might as well...

Demon King
In which two Japanese high school students, one normal and one not normal at all, face off against various demons in the small town of Daijin.

[Yoshi_Is_Here]

I want a review too! I'm excited to see your opinion

Angry & Happ
Following the funny and sometimes crazy adventures of two brothers, you never know what could happen.

PD: At the first episodes I made some mistakes in the grammar hehehe well English is not my first language, so I made some mistakes.

And thank you, I'll be waiting!

[Jrej]

We definitely need more webcomic reviews doing quality work.
There is so much content out there. It's hard sometimes to find the hidden gems.

I'll have to consider doing this as well but I lack an analytic mind.
Could be a good exercise though. ;-D

[hannahmcgill]

English Project Shorts
@vincentprendick

Bearing in mind that you're self-taught, and how challenging it is to find someone to critique your work in an honest way, I want to you to keep in mind through this review that I think it would be a mistake for you to stop making comics. It looks like you have a nice fanbase to cheer you on and I would NEVER want to pen a review that caused a comicker to stop working. I think the one-shot format is great for learning new things while not chaining yourself down too heavily. I'm going to share some things to try and you're free to accept or reject with no hard feelings.

First impression: Scribbly, heavily stylized. Halftones clash because they're extremely high-contrast and vibrant. Also, I'm not sure why they change from comic to comic. Consider setting the halftones at a lower opacity so that they fill up their intended space without distracting from the lineart so much. This comment stopped mattering as later pages have no halftones at all!

First page, I don't understand the story. Someone is on their computer, Death is sneaking up with some kind of custom scythe (?), and then the last panel is cropped oddly so I think there's a crocodile head on the ground behind your character. This is the type of observation I said I might make in my first post, so feel free to pm me to clear up what story this is supposed to be, or respond in this thread if you feel okay discussing it publicly.

It seems like the rest of the story has some interesting elements like agents of Death coming to the world to hang out and be casual while doing their jobs. Explore this more.

Do you have someone who's blunt in your life that you can run your comics off of to get feedback? I mean face-to-face, so they can't fake laughter. I have two RL beta-readers that I've learned to trust when they're confused by one of my comics, and it sucks when they don't get my funny joke but it also means I don't release anything too esoteric.

Speech bubbles look like they popped out of a comic with higher fidelity. They don't match the rough edges of the comic, and they use a semi-transparent effect when nothing else in the comic uses different levels of opacity. That said, the font choice matches the comic so you should keep it, especially since your characters keep their lines quippy.

I don't understand the choice to make the comic read right-to-left, and there are even jokes that you've decided it's part of your style. Is this a tradition that's important to you? If so, why?

Some more things for you to get into: Life drawing, color theory, digital media courses, real media courses (so you can transfer your skills to the computer).

Stylistically the comic jumps a lot, but I think that's pretty great for figuring out how you want to make comics. If you hit on something that you grok then you can take it with you on future projects. I wouldn't take the lack of readers too seriously since it's clear to me that you're still in a playful/experimental stage when it comes to making comics. Having a huge sub list is actually very stressful and defines the scope of what you can make, sometimes narrowly. Play while you can and don't worry about subscriber count. : )

[Doubtcent]

Thank you for the great review.

Since this is my first comic attempt, I also soon realized that the tones were pretty hard to look at. I'm no longer doing them.

As for the first page, considering that I've gotten way better at story, I don't mind that someone doesn't understand it. You should've seen the original! It made even less sense! It just means I've got much more to learn. /(=+=)>>>

I kinda see what you mean about the speech-bubs. I'm just gonna have to figure a better way to put the text in, but I've yet to figure that out

Finally, the R2L format is more like training for other comics I may be doing in the future. Just a personal preference I guess. I even asked my fans if they wanted to keep the style, and the majority was fine with it.

In the end, I say thanks. I've never been officially reviewed before.
-VP

[hannahmcgill]

Glad you enjoyed!

You're aware of why some comics are right-to-left, aren't you? Just curious.

[Doubtcent]

Haha of course. I read Manga all the time. Just how some languages are. I've just gotten so used to how it's read, so maybe in the future I can get my comic translated. Could be fun and it can allow more people to enjoy it, but that's like WAAAAAAYYYYY into the future if I stick around long enough.

[abigailkbacilla]

Oh do mine please!

Commander Princess Maisie.

It's my first ongoing comic ever, and I'm trying to teach myself comics but I'm in college right now for graphic design

[hannahmcgill]

Are you aware that the Japanese language reads right to left, whereas English is left to right? EDIT: Looks like you are, but let's be clear, your comic is in English now so it's odd to plan for something that'll take a lot of time and work later. The way your bubbles are set up now compete directly with how the language reads inside of the bubbles, with the layout going one way and the words going the opposite way.

Either way, I won't continue on this subject because a) doesn't affect me since I'm not a regular reader and b) it's your comic and your rules as to what feels right. Intent is not to be a nag at you personally, it's to add to the content of this thread overall.

[hannahmcgill]

Blood Bank
@pTerra9

Lucky you, I'm not critiquing the writing : P

First Impression: This is clearly formatted for browsing on a cell phone, which is what Tapastic excels at. Good job on understanding the strength of your host. There are major problems with contrast. Murky colors. No sense of place.

Well, let's just talk about night scenes and color theory! Your style can look like anything but if I can't tell what's going on, then contrast is the number one thing we're going to look at. I believe you can make your scenes more clear with some color theory.

I know in real life, darkness is perceived as black -- Maybe dingy yellow in a streetlamp. However, artists have developed methods to render nightscenes that are still, for some reason, legible to viewers. The key trick is knowing that darkness isn't black, but rather a state of dark values with low contrast, and monochromatic tones.

Here is an example of a night scene that primarily uses sky blue!

This is going to take some bravery on your part, but try rendering one of your night scene pages using only one hue -- and no black to help you : ) You can use lighter versions or darker versions of that hue, but no different hues allowed (yes, even for unique character eye colors! Told you it was going to seem counter-intuitive)

Next, try coloring a night scene that has one light source. Here is an example that uses blue for the backdrop and yellow for light sources. For this exercise you get -two- colors -- the hue of the darkness, and the hue of the light source. Even if it doesn't click for you to use in the comic, it's a neat exercise and food for thought.

On speech bubbles, the semitransparent bubbles are also adding to the contrast issues. There's nothing wrong with white speech bubbles and black text, especially in a comic with such dark backgrounds. You may have colorblind readers who can't tell what colors they are, so don't use the color coding as a replacement for proper speech bubble tail placements.

Finally I know the reason we make comics is because we love our characters! The landscape and background are characters, too. Give them a little more love and planning even if they're not as fun to draw as your humanoid characters. ; )

[elixiadragmire]

I'll bite, I've been picking up reviews lately so have at it! Here's Silversong.

Also I had a critique between chapter 1 and 2 regarding art so some issues in the first chapter 'might' of already been addressed

[shade277]

Hello.

If it does not bother you a lot, please review Oculta (R 18+)

[aspiderjonny]

Hi. I'm doing a superhero action comic Jonny Comic. I'm going for an animated kinda look, very angular. I do a lot of curved perspective on purpose becuase I like how it looks, but if it's a probelm that tell me in the review. Last thing to note is that the art doesn't really get good (for me at least) until the beginning of Book 2. Here's a quick look at what to expect art-wise:

I am in school for cartooning but I've for the most part finished my classes on anatomy and composition, so I doubt you repeating stuff will be a real problem. Looking foward to that review.

[pTerra9]

Thank you for an honest opinion, i will definitely be trying out the things you suggested Thanks for taking the time to look at it

[hannahmcgill]

You're welcome. I hope you continue to make your comic and explore the relationship between vampires and ancient Norse gods. : D

[hannahmcgill]

Mailbox Rocketship
@kotaotan

First Impression: This comic is very easy to read! It uses a slapstick cartoon style and clear character body language. Type and text bubbles are fine. It doesn't pause to infodump so I never felt like there was a point in time to stop reading.

The humor style and character designs remind me a little bit of Phil Foglio's work, in that you're probably going to face, or have already faced, a contingent of readers who'll dismiss this comic based on the style not being 'realistic' or 'detailed' enough. Their loss. Telling a clear story is more important than embellishing the artwork or having the most perfect style ever.

I think there's a few places to improve the character designs and overall draftsmanship without losing their clarity or lightheartedness. The closest comic in terms of style that you might want to consider emulating is Penny Arcade. I've chosen this page to illustrate some stuff I'm seeing:

Lineart Quality
The lineart in Mailbox Rocketship is a little too closed and uniform, although I do see some variation here and there. Try to pay more attention to light sources and taper lines more dramatically. When close to a light source, a line becomes very thin or even disappears! When far away it can be more wide, with the transitions resulting in an expressive line. Also notice that the ends of the lineart in Penny Arcade are very clean and pointy, with their arcs round and swoopy, giving the characters an overall lively yet elegant effect. One physical technique you can try is to draw on an easel, standing up, using your entire arm and wrist to draw instead of just your fingers. Want to do it digitally? Mount your computer tablet on an easel! I'm serious.

Volumetric Underdrawings
There's all kinds of opportunities to stretch your character's features more, but also define them as part of a face and taking up space in a 3D world. Sometimes the characters in your comic have flat mouths that appear on the sides of their faces even though they are in profile, which if you look at the profile of the character in the last panel of the Penny Arcade page I linked, even though his mouth does wacky stuff, when he's in sideview, it shows his mouth as breaking his facial profile. Do some studies with angles and plumb lines in real life to get a better sense of this.

(Sidenote: Your lineart and volume look amazing on the spaceship in this page so I know you're capable of this, just that it's not present in every page in the comic)

Lineart Coloration
For the most part black lines are utilitarian and suit you fine. I think you could explore with coloring the lines more often to accent special effects and lighting. Also, chiaroscuro effects and reflected light are something you can look into to improve the feeling of volume that these characters inhabit.

Thanks for submitting your comic! I was able to understand and enjoy the story. That's the hardest part.

post:1, topic:3279"]

[Cielle]

hello! I'd be thrilled if you would review my comic, Reus
It's a comedy fantasy-mystery about a would-be cop (Max) obsessed with trying to catch a vigilante. The only things holding her back are her lack of detective skills and Rei, a boy from out-of-town who insists on trying to help her.

I've never had any formal art training and I'm pretty new to the digital art format, so I recognize that I still have a lot to learn. But I do think I've improved between the first episode and the latest episode! Even so, I'm always hungry for feedback ^.^ My style influences are korean webtoons and japanese manga, but I'm trying to develop my own style as well.

[Mrion]

Hi there, great initiative!

If you are not to busy, I'd be curious to read a review of my comic, The Old House on Lewis Street.

The story takes place in the 1920's and is a mix of drama and mystery. I'd say the period aspect of it was chosen mostly for the look and mood of it, but I try to commit to at least some degree of realism.

Before you start, some precisions, since you asked:
- I'm a professional designer for animation, although not one of those glamorous Pixar of Disney people. But I've got the training and everything.
- I started TOHOLS long before I heard of Tapastic, with maybe publication in mind, so I'm aware it doesn't match the shorter forms that are favored around here. But since I feel my art improved a lot in the making of the two first chapters, I may have to redraw the first one entirely if I want to submit it to an editor.

Thanks again of you commitment.

[hannahmcgill]

Hallowed
@windikite

First Impression: Enjoying the elegant lineart on the character and use of negative space. Backgrounds seem a bit empty. Story is a little murky to make out. Characters lack context.

I really enjoy the style of the character's design. The minimalistic lineart and flat gray values with no shading are so nice, they give the character a unique look that I've never seen before and make it easy for him to show expression.

I wish the rest of the comic could be built around how your character looks. Since he's so simplified, it seems like there's a lot of opportunity for neurotically-detailed backgrounds in contrast, but I don't see any...Just a big grey void. For reference to what I'm talking about, try looking at Moebius by Jean Giraud. He balances areas of intense detail with empty space.

For the purple entity, the color and shading seem off when compared to the clean design of the main character. I would suggest looking into masking and radial gradients instead of brush shading on the purple entity. I get that you're going for an otherworldly creature, but the purple entity doesn't have enough in common with the main character stylistically.

Speech bubbles...Don't shade them at all, it looks overworked. Of every element typical to a comic speech bubbles do best without much extra effects. Also there's some aliasing problems in the text, got some pixellation going on.

On the plus side, I think that if you're able to improve the silhouettes of the characters, make them clearer, maybe give more context to the story with a detailed background -- The amount of text seems really nice. You have a good sense of minimalism. Just want to see that artistic promise in your banner flesh out into the comic itself, so keep going. : )

[SandraMJ]

Eyp Hannah, heads up! You linked to a wrong comic, not Hallowed.

...But it was a link to a cool dinosaur comic, so there's that