24 / 66
Apr 2021

Ok First round - next round comes, don't worry!

@cherrystark you got a colour rush kind of writing style what's great, you make the reader stand in the middle of the actions. Makes me feel like i am there in the book, just lovely. But sometimes you make monster sentences, it's eases after a while. I didn't read much yet, will continued definitely. So I don't know if you do it usually or it was just for the start because you wanted to get all the information in?!

@ZakuraTheFungi I like that you write the POV of different characters, it gives me as a reader background info but not to much revealing scenes. Also thanks for the translations, i hate it when people write a full sentence but don't translate it. I would have been lost without translations tbh. Red Dragon/His Eyes etc. at that moment you didn't described the person screaming at all. It would be a nice addition just to know who's screaming and how they body react to seeing the red dragon - would make the scene more colourful to read for the reader.

@queen_of_spades Love your bite-sized episodes, that I can just read before leaving for work. I love the relationship Thomas (my absolute favourite Name :heart_eyes:) and Delilah got, they are cute and how much Tom knows about her is adorable. It's so well written that I can imagine them in other scenes together after only reading a few episodes. The only thing that throws me off are the beginning of the sentences, they are almost all the same. You use quite often she, her or him, he. Try to describe the character, like Delillah as an example would be wavy brown hair (only read it once) or use other starters.

Also Delilah's situation reminds me of the saying " Don't stress the could haves. If it should have, it would have." Maybe this inspires you a bit :grin:

@Nossumy Seriously if their is no one out there who is even making the pillow? I need answer! Just joking, you comic is funny and super cute - it feels like homemade cookies. The only think I don't really know of because I don't draw, its the speech bubble. Sometimes they are so big you can't even see the cute art and i think it's a pity to say the least. But as I said I don't draw so I don't really know if it should be like that??!

@bulletcrucifixion I just have to say that, I get Thor vibes. Full blown Asgard feelings with the title. As mentioned before I love bite-sized stories, it just easier to read. And the music is the cherry on top, please keep that up! The only thing that confused the hell out of me was the "fathers cousin" "great grandfather" etc. it's just a bit much, but i understand that's a big family and that lives a long life. So don't change that. I just wanted to mention it that it's confusing and if readers ask don't get mad at them. (And you commended twice what's funny :joy:)

@All_and_None It's interesting to see people be actually into Germany and their people. I don't know a lot about Nietzsches Story, but I love how you build up the story and your art is magnificent. There are some tip errors like Frits and Fritz (Fritz would be right) but nothing to bad. Also Fritz called his Mom Sie what's uncommon even for the 19th century, she would be addressed as Frau Mama (Herr Papa for dad), as far as I remember. And he wouldn't have called his sister Elisabeth, she is only know as Elisabeth because she liked it more but he would have called her Therese (her first Name) as a kid. And the last think is the Ü, write it when needed because Ubermensch doesn't make sense. But overall these are just minor mistake I have to correct as a German (sorry!).

@crowstories I like your art style, it's simple but loud, it speaks the message. There are some tip errors but with a second look on it you will find them, they aren't big and with good will over-read. It's a classic school bully story and I am excited to read on, I am just afraid that I might get flashback from my own school time. But i will get on with it even with a little break between but you got my read for sure!

I hope to reach around 100 subs by the end of the year. But that may sound like I'm overreaching myself.

Anyways, here is my weekly Sunday strip.

Thank you for your detailed review ! Feels nice to have one. Yeah they northern, snow people haha not surprising you got that vibes. This is a big family, hence succession issue, not much I can do for that. I tried to look for an short word for great-grandfather like grandpa for grandfather but couldn't find one. I come up with greatpa, in other chapters. I know it doesn't exist but it's kinda cute. Thank you for the comment on music ! Just came up with the playlist last week, I was so excited about this. Anyway thanks for your overall review ! ^^

Thank you for the review! I really appreciate the feedback and I'm glad you like my writing style ^_^ I hear you on the translations part too haha.
I would like to note though, the reason I didn't describe the person screaming is because since it's in my MC's POV, he would have to be looking at the person to be able to describe them. But since he is locked onto his target and is pretty much used to people screaming, he doesn't bother to look at them. I wrote it that way to make it feel like he can hear the people around him, but isn't paying attention to them. I hope that gives a little clarification. I just try to keep in mind what my characters are actually able to see/are looking at to make it more realistic.

@bulletcrucifixion as I said, it's not bad. You just need a second to adjusted to the names and find out who is who :joy:
Excited for the more music, tbh ^^ also you are welcome, I am glad I could help a bit.

@ZakuraTheFungi That makes sense didn't thought about it even though I praised your POV writing :confounded: , I am sorry. Totally agree with you at that point. Just so used to get everything over described....

Hey there! Thats a nice idea :slight_smile: Here is my comic, I uploaded many more chapters on webtoon already. The comic itself starts at episode 6, the first episodes are more lika a disclaimer/intro.

Thanks for the read! I'm glad you enjoyed it. The first chapter is kind of a beast because I needed to establish a lot before the story begins. Once you dive in more, things do speed up.

Thank you so much!
I am going take your considerations on account. I will add some descriptions too. Thank you.

No worries! I totally understand haha ^_^ It was something I had to also learn when I started writing in first person.

.

Hi there, that's really nice of you! I would love some feedback.

Genre: YA, Romance, LGBTQ+
Warnings: Discussion of Mental Health, Depression, Anxiety
Depictions of Bullying and Abuse

Thank you! 🖤

This is such a neat thread! Thanks for making it and helping all the small creators here.
Here's my comic!

Round two :grin: (Three will come along)

@ApplesOverIndia Your Novel was one of my first I subbed after I started Tapas again. So, for sure I like it. You paragraphs are the nicest to read out of all Novel by now, it just hits my taste. Also your writing style reminds me a lot of Jona Dreyer - just the English version of her, with words like warm gooeyness. Don't get me wrong Dreyer is one of my fav German Authors! The only thing was that you double your sentences starters sometimes, doesn't happened often and you over read it easily. I just notice stuff like that rather quick. Example in ep 1. So...So..
-Also Mitta reminds me of Mittens and I often read her name like that :sweat_smile:

@hamza9644 just a tip. If you put info behind your link it shows the banner of your book, what makes it easier for new readers to decide if they want to read or not. I have to say I am not into the story but I like your art and want to see you improve. The only thing that still throws me of is that there is not mature warning. Tapas got a Mature warning button if you turn it on you don't have to tell that in the episode. Especially if someone dies or a lot of blood etc.

@itsrue Bl is always good :smirk: I am not into Chinese tradition or way of living so I can't judge your story on that part. You got a quite simple writing, not for everyone but I think I like it. And I would like to find out more about what happened to Jing Chen a bit closer... I don't know if it happens in the next few ep. but that would be a nice addition.

@Alkareel I adore you banner, it looks like high quality! And the occasional drawing makes it easier to imagine. But I have to say you need to work on you paragraphs because they are almost none existing. You make every sentence a new paragraph what makes the ep. longer but at the same time harder to read. I think that comes form the talking and you try to separate talking from story telling?!

@EncryptedWriting Katrina is nicely build up, she is though threw and you can feel it while reading.And Henry is an Angel I wish i had a few like him. The story is slowly building up, I will definitely keep going reading it. There is only a minor mistake (I made too without realising). You put instead of you put " what is only used for Quotes. Example: Katrina told her mom: Don't worry, I am fine. and a Quote would be "My drops of tears I'll turn to sparks of fire " - William Shakespeare

@mcmx The story development so far is good. You use a wide range of words, it makes everything quite colourful. The reading experience on the other hand is a bit hard. Your paragraphs are sometimes a bit to big, some could lose interest through that mid ep.. Also the same as @EncryptedWriting you use " instead of . The first one if for quotes the other for speech. Tapas sometimes does this and I still didn't figured out why?!

@Fox_Den7 The calm colour scheme makes it nice to read, the size of your speech bubbles are perfect. And Dragens chewed of Ear is cute, even though it might not be the nicest reminder of what happened. The only thing is the mature content, you can just simply turn it on and Tapas will give to your ep. a warning and people have to tap continue to see the ep. - I know that you mentioned it at the start, but people read your comic over time and might forget about it and i think it's easy to just turn it on.

@Tamachii I am just in woaah and aww. A Traditional art comic, I am speechless. You don't see it that often her on Tapas, but I appreciate and envy everyone that puts so much time and work into it. :smug_01: The only thing is sometimes you see some lines, but don't worry about it. And the words are hard to read because they are so tiny (might be different on the phone). But for traditional art it's nothing compared.

@Fuzzyman818 The simplicity is capturing on its own. Fun to read and a Tom and Jerry vibe is on it. Please keep going with it. Great for a fun minute in my break and anytime appreciated!

@Colours_dont_match I like that there are people like you in this world. Addressing the problems of our hoax society. Please watch out for trolls, they are on something and will discuss everything with you. The only thing is the mature warning. Because of miscarriage etc. just put it on and give your readers a chance to decide if they are fit enough to read it. And I saw that Thanos input :smirk:

Yes yes. I find it's easier to take dialogue in when it's separated from thick text. At least, for light novels. I don't know how it is for traditional writing.

Thank you so much for the review :smiley:
This is my first comic so I'm doing it with best of my knowledge. I'm trying not to hide important part of the panels with balloons but sometimes he has so much to say... xD