So, if you're still looking for feedback, I'll give you some. I'll go through the first episode and give you my impressions as I go. I'm not trying to be rude or harsh or nitpicking, I'm just trying to give my opinion and especially on the first episode, it's important to put of the best first impression you can, and yeah, this is just my opinion and reading can be a pretty personal thing.
So, straight out the gate: "flat edge" feels weird to me. Flat and edge feel like two different things, especially on a knife. Do you mean dull edge or the flat of the blade or similar?
Something feels odd about your tense and point of view. Maybe it evens out later, but I was taken off guard by it being 1st person. It felt like it was 3rd until suddenly the girls was looking into the narrators eyes. Especially because the early paragraph goes into the child's thoughts and feelings, I thought it was going to be closer to her thoughts so the sudden shift was kind of jarring. You could easily do something like, your first sentence being "She woke to the flat edge of (my) knife..." to make it clear its 1st and maybe make it clearer this is the narrator thoughts, although its still odd how much in the child's head it is for a narrator who's separate, but I suppose you could excuse that with it being past tense, depends on how it works later.
"Who am I kidding?" line is odd. You're in past tense, the sudden shift without making it clear its a thought it a little off putting.
You've repeated the notion of leaning over to whisper twice pretty quickly, like within sight of each other, it's just a bit odd, maybe some rewording of that. Or maybe since they're that close and it's established that they're being discreet, it might not be necessary at all.
Possibly you need to go through and look at filter words, especially in first person. They put more distance between me and the narrator. Things like "I could feel her tears" could be stronger as "I felt her tears". It's more powerful without the extra step. There's quiet a few places where you can apply this and it's a pretty good rule in general.
"...this was the entrance I used to enter her room..." is too clunky and repetitive. Try a little rewording to avoid repetition like this. It's awkward and sounds unnatural.
The narrator jumping to try and shake the child off is odd? She's saving her but also is trying to shake her off? If this is her trying to test her resolve or some kind of conflicted character, it could use expanding. You've gone into a lot of detail (maybe too much) in a lot of places, but this just feels like an odd action without much sense or motivation.
Again "The words are the first words..." repetition. "The words were the first she had ever said to me" is stronger, but it's also unnecessary. I was there reading their interactions. I know she hasn't spoken. Again, it could be stronger by removing this entire sentence and simple starting that paragraph with "I was starting to wonder..."
"Intruder, right wing!" They're outside? That's not a wing. (That probably is nitpicking, but it's a garden, not part of the bulding. Gardens don't have wings. They're named for the type of garden, like rose garden, formal garden, water garden ect)
More filter words and these really don't do the pacing any favours doing action scenes.
"Everything that I have worked for..." You've switched tenses again. Watch out for that.
Very cool reveal of the wings to end the episode on.
Overall, pretty good. The early paragraphs definitely threw me off a bit, the pov was confusing. You could definitely use a little more description in places and in some places it felt a lot like you were overexplaining things. Especially motivation and the child's history. I feel like it might have been more intriguing not to know who hired her or how abused the child is, one of the other, or maybe not why she's being saved. Something to add a mystery of "oh i wonder why" because right now I'm not asking many questions. Your action isn't very tense. I didn't feel worried or excited, it was kind of flat. A lot of that is filter words and a bit of rejigging could do a lot. But it is a very good way kick off a story that has a lot of potential to be a really good hook with just a little bit of fine tuning.
I hope that helps you a bit, and of course, this is all my personal opinion, so don't take it too much to heart.