How do you develop thicker skin?

Everyone in this thread has offered some very valuable perspectives so I will try to keep mine brief!

Critique and Constructive Criticism is an integral part of this "job". It's part of an artist's or author's toolkit and the hard truth is that we can not make good stories without it! Distance yourself from the concept that your projects are your baby. Remind yourself that this is your work, not you that people are critiquing and that receiving this feedback will help you hone your skills. Make it part of your creative process, especially if you're considering a career in this.

As for more concrete advice as to how to develop a thicker skin, this is what I have done: After drawing or writing something for a project, I let it percolate. Two weeks minimum, but sometimes it's a month or more. Don't touch or look at your project, try not to even think about it! You'll become more emotionally distant from your work and it will be much easier to spot mistakes when you go back to review it. This is the time to show it to people in your network and get some feedback to help make edits/polish it!

Let me know if you ever need to talk or would like some constructive, positive feedback! I'd be happy to help! Good luck!

There's a few things that have helped me so I'll try to condense it all.

But the number one thing is to have a goal right in front of you. A goal you can immerse yourself in it. You take that goal and take a challenger mentality. A line of thinking that says "Fine, you can say all that now, but I'm making art and I'm going to get so much better." In a sense, you get stubborn but not obtuse. You say to yourself, I'm not there yet, but I will be there. Sort of a "I'll show you" that isn't oblivious to your own weaknesses. You still grow and improve, you still study, practice and create, but you don't slow down.

In terms of self-confidence. There is no shame in faking it till you make it. Start with little things in your work. "Wow, I did this pretty damn well!" or "This idea is super cool!" Hell, you can do it in a response. You look at that criticism and say "Thank you for commenting, I'm still growing and getting better. Look forward to improvement over time!" Nothing there is a lie. The engagement is welcomed, you are still improving (as we all are) and you will show your growth with time.

It all starts internally. Be proud of the hard work you put in. If others don't like it, oh well. Sucks to be them. You're only getting better. If you stumble, go back to basics, change up the field, but forge a mentality of "Not there yet, but someday I will." Your current situation is not your final destination. Your goal is that destination and until you hit that goal, no one's trash talk means a thing. Never lose the spirit of constant improvement and refinement, never lose sight of the goal and never lose that sense of fun you have in your work. If someone offers legit criticism, take it at face value as a new goal or objective. Something to practice and be better at. But of course, there's no shortcut. Sometimes the easiest way is to take that criticism, separate yourself from your work and, most importantly, never foster resentment. Be stubbornly driven, not silently destructive.

Really hope I made even a lick of sense there.

I used to be like you years ago. I took animation in college and on the very first day, all of the teachers were really hard on a personal piece in our sketchbooks. They destroyed it with their words. It was really hard to take and a lot of us were extremely hurt, some cried. They did it to teach us a very valuable lesson and I actually thank them for it now.

As much as our artwork are our blood and sweat, we can't stay too attach to them. Truth is, we can always do better.

A very important thing you should know is that there is such a thing as good criticism and bad criticism.

Bad criticism: Is when someone points out an personal negative opinion about you and/or your work. They're generally very vague comments like "That sucks! You're a terrible artist!". Those are comments you should ignore and learn to ignore. This is a person that has nothing better to do but insult people.

Good Criticism (aka. Constructive Criticism): Is something that you should pay attention to. This is not meant to be an attack. It's meant to help you achieve greatness. The most common ones will actually point out something they think you did well and mention one or a list of things that could use work. Even if you worked 16 hours on a drawing and someone gives you constructive criticism, take it as a compliment, instead of a negative feedback. That person is actually helping you. They're taking time out of their day to help you get better.

I find if you take good criticism in a positive light, instead of an attack on your artwork. You'll be much more receptive to them. They won't hurt, they might not even sting anymore. Never think that your work has now peaked. You can always be better. It's one of the great things about being an artist. The journey is never over.

I think that's the best advice I can give you about your self-esteem when dealing with people, whether it's in real life or online.

I stopped caring what other people thought of me as a person. It was too much work to please everyone and I wasn't happy. I am very well surrounded by amazing friends and family that love & respect me. Why should I care what negative look or comment is directed at me by a stranger? I became more confident and happy, because I could be myself and just live the life the way I wanted. I just wish I had figured that out when I was still in grade school.

I used to have extremely low confidence, like rock-bottom confidence. My ego - which was built around how the world perceives me and the shame I felt from it - was the problem. It was only when I had an ego death that I realized my ego is just a tool to help me get the job done, not the end-all-be-all of my soul, that my social conditioning isn't something to hold tight to.

Some of the dumbest people in the world have the biggest egos. We all know of a few examples. You're smarter than them, and it doesn't matter how bad off you are, you will always be smarter than they are, and yet they are smart enough to handle some of their issues which in your own respect you feel incapable of handling. It takes confidence in order to handle your issues, and your issues will only get worse if you don't handle them. It's a negative feedback loop that's only broken when you realize it's all in your head and ascend past your low confidence.

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I'm not an advocate of nihilism as a conclusion, but for what it is, it's a nice stepping stone to detach yourself from anxiety so that you're capable of introspection without your emotions dragging you down. A bit of nihilistic philosophy ironically gave me the peace of mind in order to study higher values and empower myself into taking better care of myself.

I also recommend giving yourself time; time to recover and time to learn how you handle trials. It's never easy but it's something we all have to learn how to do. With that being said, remember to take criticism with a grain of salt. If you are not asking for a certain type of feedback, you don't need to listen to what they have to say. If they are commenting on something you asked for help on, but you can't find a way to impliment it into your work that feels natural, take a cue for Ariana Grande and "Thank you, Next."

I still struggle with this myself from time to time, but no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. The power is yours. Don't let some anonymous face online dull your sparkle!

So here's the thing about critiques: You do not need to learn how to be bullied. There are good critiques out there that are positive, and then there's the blunt ones that are just being bullies and those are no good. There is actually no way to build a thick skin towards being bullied. If someone comes up to you and says "Your work sucks" It will hurt every single time. So just report and block em, they're just dicks throwing rocks and shouldn't be on the site anyway.

As for constructive critiques, you never have to respond to a critique, unless you like...asked for it, in which case you can just say "Thanks for your time and insight." and be done (because I've asked for critiques and got like...out of left field responses that would have involved rewriting completely everything so I completely ignored them. We've all done that.) But the best critiquer you'll ever have is a mentor that knows how to talk to you in the way you need to hear it. Sometimes it takes a while to find those people, but for everyone that's going to be a different sort of person.

Like, some people do better with a soft and kind critique, other's need a more honest treatment. In the end, you're still figuring it out, and honestly I think you should just focus on doing your art for you right now until you feel better. Especially if you're going through a dark time, just close off the critique. When I first started posting my first comic on Tapas, I actually closed comments for the first 20 episodes because I knew my comic was different, and I didn't want to get anyone's guff for it (webomics have a reputation of having people that leave just really bad comments). I just wanted to post it without any fear I'd get into some argument or something. And honestly, that was what I needed to just post here until I trusted the community enough to turn comments on (which was when I realized no one leaves comments anyway, lol). It takes time.

Just sit back and think "is it really worth it to get this upset over something?" and either accept it and move on not replying or think through the reply to be as neutral as possible even if the criticism seems rude. That's been my method.

There's a lot of really good advice above me, so I won't repeat what's already been said, I'll just add to it with a few extra things I've observed over the years.

• The difference in my emotional reaction between solicited and unsolicited criticism is rather large. I take criticism much better if I've asked for it, and therefore know that it's coming. I can prepare myself emotionally for it, and get into the right headspace to do something constructive with it.

• If you're quite sensitive, expect criticism to sting. Don't assume that's a problem with you; it's not. For a lot of people, it's just the fact of the matter. Be kind to yourself about it. It's not something to be fixed. It's something to be managed. Big difference!

• The first time you read through a new critique, it'll hurt. Read it, close it, do something nice with your day, and come back to it the next day. It'll hurt a lot less the next day, and you can go through it and jot down the things in it you'd like to work on.

• Most importantly, don't feel bad about feeling bad! It's totally natural. You'll get a little better at managing critique with practice and exposure, but it'll always be a downer to receive, and that's okay. Make some tea, or whatever you like to do as self-love, and let the sads wash over, sit within you, and wash away when they're ready to.

Weird suggestion here.

Sometimes i reccomend people follow the illogical train of thought that occurs after receiving bad feedback. So like:
my work is bad -> I'm bad. -> I'm a bad person -> I'm a burden on other people because I'm so terrible -> (just keep going)

The purpose:
-acknowledge what the farthest stop on your train of thought is, "I'm a burden" for example. Unpack that. Who told you that the first time? Why? Are you still listening to their voice in your head? etc.
-listen to how dumb it sounds "I'm a burden" or whatever. sometimes it helps to get out of a bad place if you put words to a feeling. It's easier to challenge bad thoughts when you can put them into words.

Get friends that roast you and you roast back, helped a ton for me in highschool
Once someone tells you about the supposed deeds they do with your mum in a back alley for 10 dollars an hour of pay, criticism of your comic would just be a matter of should i consider the criticism valid or not.

Well it's not about having a thick skin per se.... It's more like the way you will handle rejections or dealing with criticism.
If there is one thing that I have come to terms with as a creator is that, when creating, you can't control criticisms -- they will always come the more you grow. -- with that said, it's not your responsibility to take all of it because not all criticisms are there to make you grow.Growing as a creator, you must learn to identify the criticisms that will help you grow.
People are people -- they will always have something to say no matter what you do , and it's not your responsibility or it is possible for you to please every one either; So don't mind them too much, focus more on creating our thing to create the better versions of your work and yourself. ^^
As a creator/ an artist myself, I just think being 'normal' is boring.. if nobody hates you, then you're doing something wrong. .

It's hard but I disassociate myself somewhat and try to look at the criticism rationally.

Getting pro critique can help.
Drawabox course offers rational critique because it´s mainly a perspective course.
Proko.
Different pro artists offer it and it´s not always expensive, some even help for free.

I personally see something positive in every critique I get, I got some of my
page compositions critiqued by a facebook how to draw comics group and
I learned more in a few minutes reading comments then I would have figured
out myself in months

Sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling well, and well done for getting on the road to feeling better!

I think that something that is helpful (though hard to do) is to keep in mind that the critique is of your work, not your person. Someone not loving what you have made doesn’t mean they don’t love/like/respect you. (And actually, someone not liking/loving/respecting you doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of being liked/loved/respected!)

Also, I think that the thing that’s helped me the most is to get a really clear understanding of my intentions when I make something, and also when I ask for feedback. Say for instance I want to make something that is fun for me to make, and doesn’t take very long, but does allow me to practice panelling (which, coincidentally, is what the comic I’m making is :L), if someone then comes and tells me ‘the layout isn’t very good and the story isn’t interesting to me.’ Then I’m like... okay, that’s fine because the point of this comic is for me to get better at layouts as I go along, and I wasn’t trying to please that person with the story anyway, I’m just trying to make a story that makes sense!

If someone gives you specific feedback about a specific area that you were curious about (like for instance if you asked someone ‘why is this layout not aesthetically pleasing?’), and they give you feedback that’s actually helpful like ‘it’s off because you haven’t split it up in a ratio that feels balanced’ then its all good because you can take that and learn from it. You don’t have to agree with it, but it might help you to identify what you actually think is wrong and fix it in the way that works for you. But if they give feedback that is just mean like ‘it sucks because you suck!!’ Then that’s not helpful, and might feel bad if it’s someone whose opinion you care about, but it’s also not something you even remotely have to listen to! (But also, why do you care about the opinion of someone who would talk to you like that? You don’t have to! You can just not care about them, if they are gonna be so horrible, it’s okay!)

Basically, the only critique you have to listen to is stuff that helps you to achieve what you set out to achieve. Not everyone will understand your vision, but people who do will be able to offer helpful critique. And you might be able to find some use in the critique of those who don’t. Just try to let it wash over you and don’t hang on to any of it too tightly, because what helps you will stick with you anyway, and what doesn’t is not worth keeping.

Actually, by not replying immediately, you are one step ahead. Basically, let it stew for a bit, say 'thank you, I will keep it in mind/put into the next round of revisions etc' and don't change anything immediately. Some things you can only change in future work. Some things you will rework eventually, some you will disagree upon, some you just can't do better... etc. It's all a part of a normal creative process/milieu

First of all (for me) I have to distinguish if someone is giving me a critique or they're simply criticizing because they think that's what they're supposed to do, (or they're too lazy to do anything else).

If the person is giving me an honest critique of what works and what isn't working it is usually done in a manor that doesn't offend and offers helpful suggestions. It is provided with care and thoughtfulness.

Someone who is criticizing because they think "critique" means they have to point out only what they consider the bad is, in my mind, nothing but a criticaster, i.e. a petty critic and one not that knowledgeable about what their true purpose is or even what the work in front of them is.

There is a huge difference between a well-thought and well-meaning critique, and a dashed off criticism sometimes leveled with smart quips and witticisms meant to show others how clever the criticaster thinks they are.

If you get the later, ignore it. If you get the first one it might make you feel badly that you have to do more work, but it won't make you feel like you want to give up.

I think, once you develop the ability to distinguish between the two you'll find your skin toughening up.

For me, I used to be a lot more anxious of what others might think and how a career in drawing would effect my life. I had fair experience in the "corporate world" before I started drawing professionally. And back when I used to be unique in terms of what I do for the company, they assess my work based of what they think since they cannot judge it objectively since my line of work was on the "creative" side of things.

Of course that being said, people will not agree to what "we" artists make 100% of the time. Thus, we could either defend our work or just shrug their complaints. At first it's a bit okay, (well, I was a lot younger back then). But after years of experiencing multiple rejections, revisions, and endless reworks, it just comes naturally to just ignore the feeling and keep moving on. That feeling might kick start the numbing effect of the "thicker skin" vibe.

Well... that was back then when I was younger and didn't know better.

Nowadays, as an artist and being a regular in terms of creating and uploading content, we must learn how to develop thicker skin more consciously rather than passively. Criticisms and unfair judgement coming from outside variables such as family, friends, people you meet in parties, or even on the internet is unpredictable. But we just have to learn to not take it personally and have an open mind about it.

Being bombarded with many factors that I myself cannot control, I think what I can share to you is that having a stoic or calm mindset helps as we continue the artistic struggle. Like being kind, not taking things too personally, unwind and look back to what we've accomplished so far, look at our work from a different person's perspective, and also having a contingency plan. (for example, if all else fail, like emotions are too rampant or creative block, what other thing can we do to keep ourselves functioning).

With that, I hope this piece helps and I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

I improved my ability to handle criticism when i changed my mindset about it. Here are some tips on how to do that:

1-The first thing one has to learn is to separate themselves from their work. Otherwise, the pointing of the negative aspects may feel like a personal attack, when often, it's far from it.

2-The second tip is to understand the true goal of criticism.....is not to be praised....which gotta admit feels good. Critique is a learning instance. Use it to learn from your mistakes and from the things you are doing well so you can improve your work. If you get praised....good, but if you arent, is not the end of the world.

3-Third, is important to understand that critique is directed towards the current state of a work, so even if the current state "sucks", it can always be improved. Even if you become a master, you can always improve and take things to a new level. And even if you have a finished work that failed, learning why can help you on your future projects.

Hope this helps!