If it's not fun, and it's low-key harming your mental well-being: STEP AWAY FROM IT
People have stepped away from more important things like careers! They get an incredible amount of stress put on them and decide NO MORE, their health suffers, their mental health suffers, it's not worth a great paycheck if you're ill and cannot work in any capacity.
This story is not paying your bills, you don't have to go through with it, you have no obligation to engage in this thing that is sucking the joy from you.
Currently you're enamored with the idea of what it could be, but without a solid plan, it could become anything, it could even turn into something you hate.
You say your original idea was to make it a successor to Bionicle. But first you have to identify what made Bionicle so great, what it did to resonate with people, with YOU. Don't start with drawing, start with plotting and writing. Make an outline or write out little scenes, see if it captures YOUR interest. Don't think about what other people will say about it.
Personally I don't put any pressure on myself except to finish a story once it's started and there's a lot of engagement. But still I'm pretty lax about it. If I'm not feeling well, yeah I'll miss some updates. Or if I truly come to hate it, I might drop it (hasn't happened yet). I'm not contracted with another party to produce this stuff.
Also I know none of the things I create will be perfect. And I don't view any of them as a masterpiece. They're just fun things I indulge in. I'll always have more ideas. Some fizzle out, some stay on the back-burner forever, some get enough creative inspiration to spur me into actualizing them into a comic or novel for others to see. I've only got so much time on this earth, I have to prioritize things that I know I can realistically accomplish without compromising my health or sanity.
Thanks guys for all the advice and help. it really means a lot to me. I just kinda feel stuck between a rock and a hard place with the Dragoons because I do genuinely love them and want to make a comic about them, but for whatever reason I just can't.
Maybe it would be good idea to sketch things out and let myself cry. maybe that would finally help me release my feelings and see how that helps. I'm not sure.
As someone who started publishing online what i considered at the time as one of my magnum opus......
Remember that what becomes your masterpiece is not set in stone. You may love your current project and that`s cool, but maybe in the future you will do something even better.
When you stop seeing your current work as your "ceiling" you will stop putting unneccesary pressure on yourself.
When I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself I remind myself that just cause my expectations are up there. I have to remember that I got to pay my dues and work my way up so I can have the skills and experience that meets my own expectations.
Accept that you will make imperfect works. and once you do that, Embrace it! Heh! Heh! Heh! One of my mottos is too make as many mistakes as you can now so you can get it out of the way and learn faster.
I noticed that you said when drawing something that only yourself will see. Try drawing with no expectations. A doodle of nothing in perticular. The Goal: don't think about it and just have fun, doesn't have too look good (or look like anything). re connect why you enjoyed drawing in the first place. Drawing for the sake of Drawing itself.
We all want to beat the final boss, but we all have to grind to get there.
Heh.
I think that seems to be the biggest problem I have, I subconsciously feel that the DRagoons gang is my ceiling and that I'll hit my peak with that and it;'s all downhill from there. I have no idea where it came from, but it just feels like that's what's been stopping me all these years from really going after my passion like some form of mental ceiling of sorts.
part of me just worries about disappointing my fiends and supporters for some reason with my stuff, too as well the more that I think of it.
I will tell you a secret......there is no ceiling. As long as you are willing to improve and practice, your capabilities will increase.
A trick that helped me to overcome these worries was to understand that different works appeal to different audiences. Even a genuinely amazing story will not be everyone's cup of tea.
That is both excellent advice on both ends of things. I really needed to hear both of those ends recently today. I should really focus on just "If you build it, they will come" when it comes to DRachenseele and just write what I want to write and let people who like my stuff as opposed to burning myself out trying to make something that appeals to everyone everywhere if that makes sense.
I'm not sure if this is helpful, but I think if you conceptualize this story as your masterpiece that has to be perfect, you're kind of limiting yourself by setting it up as your creative end goal. Can you imagine if you finished it? What would you do next?
You can make another BETTER story. You can learn from this project and create even better characters. But you can only do that if you accept that this isn't necessarily "it" for you.
If you're not ready, I'd say go ahead and start another shorter project so you can keep improving and creating! Let go of the pressure and just make things. It's just incredible how far daily effort will get you and hopefully that would give you a boost :).