@Kazsup It's rather: "I'm too tired if this shit," kinda stuff, not character development . I can't even get rid of my envy of jealously for audience and appreciation, I don't think I will soon unless I get those.
I'm a natural Leviathan. You get what I desperately want whether you actually deserve for it or not? Bam! It's envy time. I will disregard all factors like you work hard, you have connections, you have a broken family, you're economically unfortunate, you're a survivor/victim, etc. etc. These green eyes don't discriminate.
Keep yourself busy? No matter how busy I am it will only push my envy on the back of my mind like a background process or a Windows screensaver.
Befriend them? It will just make me conceal the envy better. Do you know the reason I don't wanna befriend them? Because if I was their friend I have to be look happy on their behalf and support them. If I was a stranger I could go by and not giving a shit. It's emotionally draining to me, seeing people getting things I never get, and now I have to clap for them. Plus the popular artists I envy are either not looking in my way, too busy, or too full of themselves; I don't wanna be seen as a social climber and I have little respect for them. No way I can befriend them
Keep improving? When you get better, your standards get higher. There is always be someone and something better and more appealing . I use to envy anime kawaii artist, now I envy semi-realism digital painter. Only the subjects of envy change.
For people like me learning to not give a shit helps a lot (although I can't completely ignore it, as it's still on the back of my mind).