Really good storytelling, I love how you've put bits of comedy here and there.
The story stars with two brothers, or friends maybe, maybe we'll see in the next chapter >![:slight_smile: :slight_smile:](/images/emoji/emoji_one/slight_smile.png?v=3)
We have an overview of two main characters from the start, Zack and Kyara, a ying-yang type of relationship, one is the cool and adventurous one, and the other one just wants to be kept out of trouble.
Cons: For me, as a reader, I felt like there were too much things put on a plate for the start, the factory, and the unknown places said by the characters and words.
You have introduced a tiny bit too much of storytelling right from the start, but it showed us the main worldbuilding that could be ahead of us, so this tip is right in the middle of pro and con. (I like the introduction, but for some readers it may be a bit too much for the start.
Another thing that bothered me a little bit was that the characters already knew themselves, already being friends, as a reader, I would like to learn about the characters and meet them as the story progresses, but still, I would put this one in the middle between pro and con... again.
Pros: You could have started by telling a few things about the characters, where they live, who they are (I mean their status in that part of the story).
Last mentions: The story is really good, I love the art style, I still don't understand how you don't have a animation, your story really gave me [
Ben 10 vibes (I loved that show as a kid).
I liked really much that you used the dialogue to determine the vibes of the characters, for Zack, it was like I could feel the laziness in his voice, and the excitement, the adventure, the thrill in Kyara's voice.
(Sorry for the small review, I did not really have what to review here, the story is just going by itself, it doesn't really need an opinion, well done :3 )