I will give you tips for your Novel/Comic. + a little bonus ;0 (Closed, for now)

moefaym 2023-12-24 17:30:19 UTC #21

Here's my series

faisalhussein394 2023-12-24 17:39:19 UTC #22

Thank you very much for the tips!

You are right about that last one, the reason for the origins of these factions and lands is where the MC will interact and struggle as his story progresses.

miyaskya 2023-12-24 17:57:01 UTC #23

Happy holidays and thank you for the opportunity!

Here is my fantasy series Grand Epic Elemental

There are two versions of the story and you can check out either one (or both, if you're interested). The novel version has extra scenes and more details on the characters' inner thoughts.

Comic version

Novel version

In a world overseen by the goddesses of the four elements, Leiyu accompanies a trade caravan traveling westward to the Kingdom of Ishkhandar. Little does he know, he is about to meet someone who will change his life and embark on a journey to escape fate.

ArtGremlin 2023-12-24 18:04:25 UTC #24

My first comic and novel (I started them this year)

Would like to hear your thoughts ^^

dsptss78 2023-12-24 19:41:48 UTC #25

Thank you for this thread and I don't mind getting tips to improve.

Kuma 2023-12-24 20:30:47 UTC #26

I always enjoy getting feedback.

Chronomel 2023-12-24 21:14:42 UTC #27

I'm still just starting the story so lots of room for improvement! The prime time for tips!

Todoyama 2023-12-24 22:54:06 UTC #28

I will go right into it since it's pretty late now, so your series will be the last to review for this tonight, so here I go.

Pros: I like how you introduced the characters in your own way, but I think that the introduction was a bit too long, since the continuation will be in space, why the talk about the characters that will be left behind. Take for example dragon ball, as the story progresses in dragon ball Z to Super, the story explores the space more and the characters and friends made on earth in dragon ball, will just be forgotten, maybe just for a quick flashback, but that's kinda all.

Cons: I don't really like the setting, I know that it is based more around space, but I feel like you should have avoided "Paris" and "New Yor" and just do like invented names, it would be a lot better for the story setting, idk, just when I heard Paris, it threw me off a little bit, that word reminded me that this story... is a ficion story, idk, maybe I m just weird or something, moving on...
One last thing I have noticed that bothers me a tiny bit was that you made the villains look a bit goofy with small jokes, I mean it works for a few type of villains, but for the first chapter, it may seem a little goofy for the readers.

PS: Sorry for the short review, my slowly keeps falling on my keyboard as I am writing this. But overall, I like the art, the art is good, the characters seem pretty chill, no drawbacks for me to not press the button for the next chapter, I think that's a win. Good chapter.

Bella_Artz 2023-12-25 00:11:13 UTC #29

Hi there, I'd really appreciate your thoughts on my story

John536 2023-12-25 01:36:05 UTC #30

Thanks for the feedback, I don't mind it at all so there's no need to worry about me getting angry. (Even though I have my profile picture as the angry face of facebook.) Anyway, you're right. I'm having some trouble transitioning the character's perspective. I tried to fix it in the following chapters in both ways, one was I transitioned scenes in the most natural way and two, I divided the chapter into each character's perspective (Tapas limits the number of characters). Actually, if you read from chapter 1 to chapter 31, you will have some confusion between the main character. In this arc, the main character is like a ghost. Well, thanks for the feedback, again. =)))

XiuLyn_12 2023-12-25 02:46:30 UTC #31

Merry Christmas!! And I'd love to hear some tips!!
Here's my comic:

caffeinatsun 2023-12-25 06:19:39 UTC #32

Hi there! I would love and welcome some feedback on my story--I just fell off the contest rankings completely today after being in the top 10 for two weeks and I'm super bummed about it

It's my first time doing webnovel format, so I could use all feedback I can get

WeighingSwing35 2023-12-25 06:46:27 UTC #33

Here's mine

Novel link: https://tapas.io/series/The-Adventures-Of-Aubert
Genre: Action-Fantasy, Action, Fantasy
Status: Ongoing

Synopsis:
In the enchanting tapestry of Sylvestria, a realm where the echoes of magic harmonize with the hum of cutting-edge technology, a kaleidoscope of civilizations flourishes across breathtaking landscapes. From the ethereal peaks of Celestria to the unyielding Frostheim amidst icy expanses, the vibrant tapestry of Verdant Haven in the lush plains, the dazzling Lumina Falls cascading in the southeast, to the heat-forged resilience of Ember Citadel in the blistering desert—the world unfolds as a mesmerizing blend of awe-inspiring wonders.

Within this realm, Aubert Réel, an unsuspecting resident, recently unveils the dormant powers of magic coursing through his veins. Embark on an enthralling odyssey as Aubert navigates the labyrinthine path toward greatness, where every step unveils secrets, and every spell cast reshapes the very fabric of his destiny.

In a world teeming with marvels and mysteries, Aubert Réel's journey is a spellbinding fusion of magic, technology, and the inexorable pursuit of his extraordinary legacy.

Todoyama 2023-12-25 09:12:13 UTC #34

The stort starts with a girl (unexpected amount of ecchi'ness, but that's not really a problem for me), who I think works for an association of some kind , disposing of bodies?

Pros: Really good start, no time wasted, right to the point, but I would've liked a bit more if us, the readers weren't in a "misty" situation, not knowing what happens next (Again, I don't mind it, but maybe the readers do.)

Cons: I would've loved to see some "why's", why the actions happen like that, like why the mc is a junkie and if she is or not a masochist (taking pills out of enjoyment, but I think it s for her to sell, I didn't understand it quite right maybe)

Observations: The story starts off good, I think that more monologue could be swept in pretty easily in my opinion, I feel like there aren't that many talking as it should be.

Todoyama 2023-12-25 10:50:18 UTC #35

The story follows the arrival of Felix in the kingdom (It's my guessing)
The chatacters are neat, I like the shadowing a lot and the eyes are very well drawn'.
Pros: You made the character introduction well, I really liked how you just introduced the characters that have will (maybe) do a change in the story, but it would've been a bit more professional if thr characters were introduced randomly, by mistake almost . Ex. Fighting a monster, doing something stupid or just something that they would do, by doing this, the readers will learn something about the characters indirectly.

Cons: My take on this was that you talked too much about what didn't help the story at all, right from the start (Talking small things about Felix)
A better introduction would have been that you could've done a kingdom introduction, the place, the location.

midnightsun 2023-12-25 10:56:21 UTC #36

I’d love to hear your feedback on my comic. I’m always looking for ways I can improve. Thanks for this thread!

Hoku_1 2023-12-25 11:30:37 UTC #37

This is an opportunity I must not miss!

This is my contest and thanks for this

moefaym 2023-12-25 13:24:46 UTC #38

Alright, thank you for the feedback, I am planning on re-doing the first episode; this was a lot of good advice!

BoomerZ 2023-12-25 15:33:28 UTC #39

I'm guessing you read only the first episode. The first three were released together as the intro to the series. You would have learned a bit more of what is going on. ( Baul, the girl, isn't a junky or just disposing bodies). I don't believe in monologues at the beginning to tell my story, I would rather have it just unfold as you read. But thanks for giving it a try.

Todoyama 2023-12-25 16:27:49 UTC #40

Well, that was my opinion, I didn't mention that you should do as I say, I just talk from experience.