webcomic) [Closed]

Todoyama 2023-10-09 03:59:45 UTC #41

Yeah, for sure, send it

Todoyama 2023-10-09 04:00:32 UTC #42

Did you read the post?

Chocolate 2023-10-09 04:23:32 UTC #43

Just sent it! Scroll down!

Todoyama 2023-10-09 11:35:48 UTC #44

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Todoyama 2023-10-09 20:12:03 UTC #45

I already mentioned your story in the other post, this is like part.2

Todoyama 2023-10-09 20:18:57 UTC #46

Great writing as always.
I think these kind of stories overgo my intellect, since my neurons start working only while I'm reading Berserk.
Some things that got my attention we're the drop-off, off epithets, I don't mind them, but maybe for other readers, yk?
And maybe I didn't pay enough attention while reading trough and trying to fully read the names, but I think you told a marriage story right from the beginning.
The readers may ask themselves: Why do I need to gain interest in their marriage; or, who are these characters that are getting married, or something like this.
Maybe my brain is just too rusty for these kind of classic type of stories, I don't really know.
Anyway, cute start and nice cover ;3

Todoyama 2023-10-09 20:23:18 UTC #47

Really "eye-catching art", nice coloring and shading on the characters and background.
I can't really talk bad about anything, since there's nothing bad about the first chapter(ep 1-11), maybe just work some on the dialogue and cut off the "cool bad boy" character (the main character, the black hair guy) since it feels pretty generic.

julias_art_universe 2023-10-09 22:41:17 UTC #48

thanks for the feedback I'll take this into account for future comics

Todoyama 2023-10-10 17:44:40 UTC #49

Pretty chill, intriguing start, good art, not less, not more explaining.

Chocolate 2023-10-10 18:53:33 UTC #50

Okay thanks for the feedback!

gene99ec 2023-10-15 19:37:28 UTC #51

Hey! Here's my WIP chapter

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g5DJkIUu75AXTgdXTSd1GK2IcL9qjAzH/view?usp=drive_link

The chapter illustrates struggles with addiction, alcoholism, loss, and young adulthood.

Yangying 2023-10-16 11:56:34 UTC #52

Here is mine! It will be useful to know what I need to work on for the future!

(Its not exactly horror, but Its the best catagory to explain the comic that I have)

Todoyama 2023-10-22 11:01:22 UTC #53

Really well made, I love how you manage to introduce the "noir" type of vibe with the black and white background and only some few colored details.
The story is catchy, I like the characters and I really like how you explain the plot more in drawing it and not just talking about it.
The tracking lines that connect the speech bubbles gives the new readers a helpful hand which is really cool in my opinion.
Overall a good start, promising, not too much, not too less.

Vermuth 2023-10-22 12:02:43 UTC #54

I would love to read your review,

JadeFang 2023-10-22 16:22:07 UTC #55

MarvinDziamski 2023-10-22 16:34:03 UTC #56

hi would you like to review my first comic Blue Samurai

(It's a very short comic)

X_ang44 2023-10-22 16:38:39 UTC #57

Hi, I would love my first novel to get reviewed by you, much appreciate!

KevinReijnders 2023-10-22 17:06:38 UTC #58

Feel free to check out Trespasser

TheYaoiEmpire 2023-10-22 17:10:22 UTC #59

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Todoyama 2023-10-22 19:16:08 UTC #60

I see a hint of astrology gathering around the story I think, that's just my deduction.
You could do the font of the text into something else, some other font that will be more suitable with the vibe around the exposition and the background.
For the rest, I don't got nothing on you, you did not expose that much of the story, only a very very tiny placement and you left room for the reader to be intrigued to go on to the next page, which is great!