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Jan 2021

Hey, I'm relatively new here on Tapas and would really appreciate getting some feedback on my WIP. In exchange, I'll do the same for yours. Just let me know as I'm open to do up to five chapters.

I'm looking for:

  1. Reading flow

  2. Character likability, and

  3. Worldbuilding

Looking forward to the good reads! :beers:

  • created

    Jan '21
  • last reply

    Jan '21
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Okay since I have read I would like to preface my feed back with this.

I don't normally read scifi or novels on this site. Albite with scifi mostly due to the lack of its prominence on this site period.

I like your main character Illians. he, despite being an every man, peppers his narration with enough wit to keep me invested despite my lack of knowledge or experience with the genre. The other characters I have no comment on mostly due to it being a bit too early for my judgement so I am neutral. World building wise I have to admit, I was over whelmed.

There wasn't an info dump per say but it was a lot to take for this kinda of thing. The slow pace so far may be of benefit to allow people to not be slammed with info too quickly. But I had to admit I was going "Who or what was Gaia?" for a while.

You have a big world and most likely a big plot thus I wish you best of luck with this. The flow was also amazing and everything connected naturally. Not my cup of tea but I know it will be scifi lovers cafe. If I make sense

Yeah. I hope I made sense.

I have my own novel myself you can give feed back for if you like.

Thanks so much! That means a lot :slight_smile:

I took a look at your story as well. It's such a creative world, backed by a stellar aesthetic that really sells what you're going for. Carole's a good character to bounce off the wacky look of Ildan and she seems so far to be the most grounded.

I will say the prose lost me in places; it's a tad messy in the grammar department and could stand a good scrubbing down to clean up the reading flow.

Otherwise, I'm glad I got to read Smoke and Murders :rose:

OMG Thank you, that you enjoy her and my world. I was kinda afraid it would be abit too... out there in terms of a world.

Yeah about the earlier episodes, those are pretty old in terms of when they were written. I intend to go back eventually once I finish writing 2/3 of my story to rework them with my newly acquired skills and practise.

I have heard from my Alpha reader that my writing and grammar improved greatly later on so I hope I can show that when I go back and rework those intro episodes.