Looking For Feedback On My Kickstarter Page

[DragonMaster]

Hi everybody.

I have put together a Kickstart for a project I am a part of. And in short I would like some feedback on it and to make sure everything looks okay.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/teamdragonmaster/renna-and-lily?token=3f5b7168

In long.

I would like to express that I am familiar with marketing creative works, SEO marketing, graphic design, and to a lesser extent crowdfunding. However, this is the first Kickstarter specific campaign I have run. I did do about twenty some hours of studying –– and additionally read over and analyzed a couple dozen comic Kickstarter pages of various types, although I do know that there are always cultural and specified information that is harder to just pick up on through study. And not through hands-on experience.

So I humbly ask if I could receive feedback by people familiar with Kickstarter specifically who can give more tailored comments on Kickstarter specific concepts.

But any and all feedback is appreciated. Obviously, we are a bit deep into the campaign to make sweeping broad changes, but if something logically makes sense to update I’ll try to get it done before we launch.

[The page may be missing a couple details. I am waiting on a couple more pieces of art (primarily the updated and higher quality Renna sheets). There will be a concise trailer as well professionally made, but it is held up on the last couple art pieces for now].

[And yes the Kickstarter is a non-standard style for the comics category. I don’t have a lot of data on this type of campaign. Most I saw got funded, with some getting well-funded. But I primarily want to test out this type of campaign for a few reasons. So, yes I am aware that it is a different style than normal and am actively working to try to get this type of strategy to work.]

(Also if it isn't too much to ask, if anyone has insights on communities that would be great to share this in please let me know. Whether it be for indie comics or more specific to the story).

Thanks again for reading –– and thanks in advance if you decide to look at the page and leave feedback for me on it.

[BreeBaxter]

Okay bestie, let’s talk about your Kickstarter page ‘cause I’m obsessed but also… we can make it POP even more, y'know?

So first off, I love what you're doing with "Renna and Lily." Like, GL/Yuri vibes + dark fantasy?? Yes, PLEASE. But babe, we need to bring the DRAMA right out of the gate. The title’s cute, but let's give it some spice . Maybe hit them with something like, “Renna and Lily: A Love Torn Between Magic and Darkness” or “Two Girls, One Dark Fate.” Get that emotional hook, and people are gonna be, like, ALL IN.

The art? GORGEOUS. Like, seriously, these designs are giving MAJOR gothic fantasy energy, and the detail in Renna and Lily’s characters? Stunning. The stark contrasts and striking imagery are a HUGE selling point. I’m literally living for it. It is absolutely pulling people in (because, hello?! It’s eye candy).

Now, let’s chat about that page layout. It’s like, cute and organized, but you gotta hit people with the good stuff up top. Right now, it feels like there’s a LOT to get through before you hit the “meat” of why people should back this project. The text sections are really spread out and require A LOT of scrolling to get to important information. Streamline the page layout so it’s easier to digest. Move the story blurb and character breakdowns up, and sprinkle more of those stunning visuals between key sections so people get the feels AND the context right away ‘cause I am DYING to know more about Renna and Lily’s drama. Who are they? What’s their deal? Like, why do we ship them? Gimme the drama, gimme the tension, gimme the "oh no, but also YES" vibes. But do it before I lose interest and click away.

$200 goal tho? Babe, that’s like a Starbucks habit for a month, but it’s chill. Just make sure to explain WHY that’s your goal. Let people know where their $$ is going and how it’s gonna bring this gorgeous story to life. Maybe tease some stretch goals for extra magic—who doesn’t love more sparkle?

Last but not least, I’d recommend adding a bold statement like, “Join Renna and Lily on their epic, cursed journey to reclaim their humanity—be part of this breathtaking dark fantasy!” Put it high up on the page to immediately get people hyped and remind them that their support will help bring this world to life.

Anyway, y’all are KILLING it. Can’t wait to see this blow up. You got this.

[DragonMaster]

This reply is very well written and has some good insight.
And I do quite like having a more call to action style description worked in towards the start.
I will note we have a breakdown of the finances and stretch goals included.