Yeah, it's fine. It's a early reply for me. It's morning over here in KS. You should put a background on your characters. Give us something to make us care. A lot of people would want to connect with your story in some fashion, so address it. XD, being a writer takes time, passion, compassion and empathy but connections between your characters and that audience would exceed well beyond your life span. So foster it, nuture it and it will be what you want. 
Oh I have a background for everyone but I’m not really sure where to have them mention them.. I did plan to have James mention in the car ride back home to Lagara that he was a spy on his home planet but that’s about it.. You’re not kidding though when you say being a writer takes time, I never thought writing a script would take this long but I know it’ll all be worth it! I’ll make sure to nurture it! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
I edited my script some and I added a bit more to it! (also I don't think I said thank you for the feedback so thanks everyone on the feedback!)
Honestly after reading back while I was editing I can see how you thought James was catty @joannekwan lol hopefully he doesn't read that way anymore
Took a quick look and yes it's much better! He's less abrasive now but still has a bit of snark to keep his voice unique~
Glad our feedback helped!
I’ve run into another issue..I’m not very good at writing high energy scenes like a shoot out and now I’m stuck.. Also I thought about it and I’m not too sure if I fixed the pacing issue either? I feel like I haven’t...
@GamerPrincessXI @Seaby what do you guys think? I’m sorry if I’m annoying _(:3 」∠)
You aren't annoying. You're still learning. What seems to be the issue? My best guess: https://www.google.com/search?safe=active&rlz=1C1GGRV_enUS754US754&ei=PQRsXa7wEsrStAWE077QBQ&q=old+westerns&oq=old+westerns&gs_l=psy-ab.3..0l10.13506.30413..30900...8.0..0.94.1261.19......0....1..gws-wiz.....6..0i308i154i357j0i131j0i67.1O1-WFIfSo0&ved=0ahUKEwjugsKdl7DkAhVKKa0KHYSpD1oQ4dUDCAo&uact=53
Watch some old westerns on how the write a shoot out. Most people quote movie refs or watch Law & Order, Chicago PD. Stuff like that.
Action scenes need a feeling of immediacy. Try to make it more emotional. What is the purpose of the shoot out? How do the characters feel? What are their responses, and what are the immediate consequences? (I'm lost as to whether this is becoming a novel or comic - comic, right?)
Pacing is also pretty subjective, but try to ease into scenes where you want the readers to connect and understand the world, and when you finally get into the more intense scenes you can drop them in and surprise the reader. It all depends on what is important to the overall narrative. This seems to be a thriller, and those need to be high in tension to be engaging.
Lol yeah it’s a comic. I guess just wanna make sure whoever reads the script has an idea of what I have in mind but honestly I kinda felt like I was writing more a novel than a script too.
I never thought about what was important.. I mean, I planned for the rest of the story to focus on James and Lagara’s relationship and I didn’t plan for another shootout to happen (that’s for a different story). If anything the only other big conflict would be between Lagara and Connie but that’s it.
Script writing comes in steps.
First step: Find out how many Acts do you want. Acts are like if you've ever seen a stage play. Usually there's three of them. Act one is the beginning... there's a break between...called Intermission. Act two is the middle also known as the heart of the action or drama. Finally Act Three is closing or wrapping up of the story and what happens to the characters and all that.
Every movie follows this template. Same for TV and webcomics. Webcomics however differ in nature because it's more of an ongoing story. The Simpsons doesn't follow this template because well, it's just not easy being thirty plus years on TV. So most TV shows follow this.
I've always wanted to write a TV show. I sent my script to two people who were in the industry and nothing came of it. I even sent it to two animation studios. Nothing came of it. I don't get discouraged... I just keep writing and I would like to help you do the same.
I guess I have 3 acts and a intermission? Act 1 being the kidnapping, the intermission being Lagara and James going home, act 2 being Lagara confronting Connie and and 3 being what happens after.. and that’s it.
I hope your tv show gets picked up soon! (I also wish I had the same mindset as you..)
Hahahaha, I don't think it will happen anytime soon. But thank you for your lovely statement. I think you should lay it out like this.
Act One
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
...etc
BTW, scenes are basically like where you want the setting to be. Include character dialogue with it and you're good to go.
That's is my series I wrote like a year ago. I didn't follow that template because I wasn't into at the time. XD
Even though i didn’t mention it in the script, I had envisioned scenes to be broken up by time stamps or double gaps in the script.. I guess i should probably just put “scene end” somewhere instead though huh?
I was sitting around wondering if I’m even on the right track with my story, like, are James and Lagara interesting? Would their story hold up against the other 2 I have planned? Because I feel like their story would end up lacking somehow.. As much as I love all my boys (and girls, but mostly my boys lol), I want you all to love them too! Well, maybe not love them but I want them to be liked or relatable at least.
What do you guys think?
Probably if you decide to put end of scene. That's okay Just gotta move on from that peculiar spot though. Like once's it's over you can't go back.
I found a good break down of the 3 act structure that may help
ACT 1 — THE BEGINNING
STORY ELEMENTS
SCENE OR CHAPTER IDEAS
Opening Scene
Sets the tone for the story and introduces the protagonist.
Setup
Scenes that introduce the world & supporting characters, and also hint at changes to come.
Inciting Incident
The surprise moment that turns the protagonist’s world upside down and kicks off the main plot.
Call to Action
How do the characters react to the inciting incident? What choice must the protagonist make?
ACT II, PART 1 — THE MIDDLE
STORY ELEMENTS
SCENE OR CHAPTER IDEAS
The Choice
How does the protagonist decide to deal with the problem? What are the stakes?
Rising Action / Mounting Problems
Troubles mount as the conflict kicks into high gear. What keeps the protagonist going?
Midpoint / Reversal
A surprise event that wrecks the plan and raises the stakes, often after a temporary triumph.
ACT II, PART 2 — AFTER THE REVERSAL
STORY ELEMENTS
SCENE OR CHAPTER IDEAS
More Troubles
There is fallout from the midpoint, continuing the conflict as problems pile up.
Disaster
A moment when everything goes wrong and the goal appears impossible to achieve.
Turning Point
New ideas or fresh inspiration offer hope and set up the story’s final act.
ACT III — RESOLUTION
STORY ELEMENTS
SCENE OR CHAPTER IDEAS
Plan / Resolve
All the pieces are moved into place for the finale. Subplots tie together and the stakes reach a peak.
Climax
The protagonist comes face to face with the antagonist or main obstacle and is victorious… or fails.
Denouement
After the climax, the protagonist and/or world have changed. A final scene provides closure to the story.
I’ve been thinking about this structure thing ever since you posted it and I was wondering... How do I fit my story into this structure?
Oh, also I wrote some more, but now I’m starting to get the feeling that James and Lagara are talking too much but at the same time, what they’re saying is important? This whole script has me lost now
If you are writing a comic and the dialogue is really important, you can decided to have some parts of it for later on or earlier on to make sure it is still being said, but not all at once. You can also make the dialogue more interesting with different angle shots and have the characters do something like eating, walking through an interesting area ect.
Well you don't have 100% fit into but I will provide more explanation.
ACT 1 — THE BEGINNING
STORY ELEMENTS
SCENE OR CHAPTER IDEAS
Opening Scene
Sets the tone for the story and introduces the protagonist.
What you want the tone to be if its going to action heavy have an intense action scene of sort or if it going to be slower in pace have a scene that just shows the character causally meeting or doing something that they love. If I was going for something mysterious I would have a dialogue less bus ride with my main character riding it with a look of contemplation
Setup
Scenes that introduce the world & supporting characters, and also hint at changes to come.
A bit more loose but you can introduce other characters however you want. However what ever that will drive the main plot should be starting to be introduced here unless you are going for a more fast pace tone. Like a minor enemy of the big bad shows up but doesn't cause any huge change in the overall status quo yet or hints about how every ones relationship status will end up . This is where you establish what every thing is like before the inciting incident. basically whats the status quo?
Inciting Incident
The surprise moment that turns the protagonist’s world upside down and kicks off the main plot.
What is your main conflict what will force every thing that has been established to be turn upside down. Can be as small as being forced to work together for a project to the main bad guy messing up your protagonist day
Call to Action
How do the characters react to the inciting incident? What choice must the protagonist make?
Basically how your characters react to this change. Do they readily accept it ? to they react negatively? do they just dont' care? It would also be good to write how they react to each others reactions. And finally after they have reacted. What does the protagonist have to do or will because of /regardless of how they feel.
The Choice
How does the protagonist decide to deal with the problem? What are the stakes?
Basically the aftermath of your characters decisions on dealing with the choices they made in reaction to the inciting incident. The stakes can be as small as a relationship becoming weaker but be something that may make what your protagonist choices have a consequence.
I can go more in depth with the others if you want but these are just a couple of explanations
Okay but I know these may not be the best explanations but I will try. And note you don't need to do every single one of them, you skip one or end at earlier option if you want to. what ever you feel you are most comfortable doing.
Rising Action / Mounting Problems
Troubles mount as the conflict kicks into high gear. What keeps the protagonist going?
Most looseist and open on of them all. This is were your main stuff happens. If a mystery this is where you show of all your clues. If romance or drama this were you build up/ break down character relationships with each other with whatever scenario you can logically put them in. This where audience should learn more about the characters (like backstory, goals, change in goals, emotional problems ectra). It should have at least some connection to the overall conflict( current relationships and personality differences if that's the main conflict). Subplots involving family drama, career also appear and are built up here
Midpoint / Reversal
A surprise event that wrecks the plan and raises the stakes, often after a temporary triumph.
Basically where things seem alright like a solution seemed to have been found and very little will get hurt form it (villain defeated or a character thinks they have found a solution to a relationship problem they been having throu a amiable break up or finding someone they love or having their feelings reciprocated). However you must hint at this being temporary due to some faulty logic/mistake your character makes. So your audience will see that something is wrong but the characters may not. Make sure it logically connects and make sense and does not betrays characterization.
ACT II, PART 2 — AFTER THE REVERSAL
STORY ELEMENTS
SCENE OR CHAPTER IDEAS
More Troubles
There is fallout from the midpoint, continuing the conflict as problems pile up.
Basically the seemly small issue from before is snow balling to be worse now. For example the small feeling of discontentment or resentment gradually grows here. Maybe a left out clue is revealed to be have let someone awful into the protagonists lives.
Disaster
A moment when everything goes wrong and the goal appears impossible to achieve.
The lowest emotional/mental/physical point of the protagonists, the terrible stuff from before make it seem like the goal they wanted to achieve from the beginning seems impossible to begin with. And how other characters react to this.(sadists just make things worse from this point onwards)
Turning Point
New ideas or fresh inspiration offer hope and set up the story’s final act.
Basically things get better. Relationships thought to have been broken are being built up from apologies or new information. The protagonists are building up their life back throu new found motivation form some source you may have hinted at earlier. A character after a character arc earlier is now able to make things better with their more mature wisdom.
ACT III — RESOLUTION
STORY ELEMENTS
SCENE OR CHAPTER IDEAS
Plan / Resolve
All the pieces are moved into place for the finale. Subplots tie together and the stakes reach a peak.
Basically the aftermath of the turning point. where everything you have set up comes together with all drama plots and romance plots seem to now have a solution on how to fix them and may lead to the happiest ending for every one involved.
Climax
The protagonist comes face to face with the antagonist or main obstacle and is victorious… or fails.
Basically where the big bad is defeated, the romance has reached a conclusion, the drama has now found a mostly permanent solution(thou you can make it still temporary in the long run if that's what you are going for). Conclusion does not mean happy, it can be bitter sweet with relationships permanently destroyed but with hints of recovery later in life to out right tragic with no sign of happiness, it up to you.
Denouement
After the climax, the protagonist and/or world have changed. A final scene provides closure to the story.
Basically you show how every thing as changed for your protagonist. What has changed in the status quo. How is the protagonists now living their lives(if they are still alive). And how do they feel? How much have their world view has changed since the beginning.
Ya this is the best I can do. Hope that helps.
