https://tapas.io/series/Dragens-Den2
I definitely got more than a few pages
Comic +react
Genre: Fantasy, Action
Thanks, Doki! Yeah, your probably right about the updates being too short for Tapas. It was originally for Instagram/done as a way to give me something to do during lockdown, but if I end up posting on Webtoon as well then iâll definitely consolidate pages and do weekly releases after ur feedback.
Yeah, for sure there are composition issues, Iâm hoping that the more I draw it the fewer there will be. But I definitely struggle with composition!
Thanks for taking the time to read it and give notes! I really appreciate it!
Sometimes, the best way to connect the dots is to be one.
https://tapas.io/series/DotCalm
Thanks...
and the very best of good luck with your new web series, DokiDokiTsuna.
Thank you for your reaction! I'll definitely have a think about converting to 3rd person - I actually thought about this myself a few chapters in but didn't know whether it would work or not so I never made the switch. Other than the 3rd person thing, I hoped you enjoyed what you read and thank you again for reacting to it!
I uploaded the first chapter in a series of short stories last week. I am so excited to continue. https://tapas.io/series/The-Cave-Dweller-and-other-Strange-Tales/info
NINTH UPDATE! (Replies 83-93)
Dan @dsptss78
=IâŚdonât know how to feel about this. The dialogue feels very on-the-nose and almostâŚchildish?? Like, it reads like something created by a third-grader, although you can tell by the language used that a 10-year-old probably didnât write itâŚwhich makes it uncomfortableâŚ
That, and the art could definitely use some work. =/ Like a lot.
Plot Armor Academy @PriestofDudeism
-A very creative premise; Iâve never heard anything like itâŚ
-I like the art style...Itâs a little rough, but in a cute way~
-âŚOkay, the writing is a little confusing. Even the order of the speech bubblesâŚin one panel they read left to right, and then in the next they read right to leftâŚdas not gud
=So the line between writing a comic about bleh characters and actually writing bleh characters is kind of thinâŚand I feel like you might be straddling it. ^^;
Like, I can see where the comic is going, and there are some good ideas in thereâŚbut in and of itself, itâs more confusing than enjoyable. And this is just the beginning; the meta jokes arenât even stale yet (and they will get stale eventually. Iâm currently re-writing a meta comic, so I knowâŚyou gotta have more than that to offer).
I think it could benefit from a good editor, at least to sharpen up the jokes. I feel like thereâs actually a lot of humor in there, and if less of it fell flat it would definitely improve the quality of the comic by leaps and bounds.
Doctored Chance: The Unpleasant Preceding of "Pajama Boy" and What Drove Him to Murder @thealooffloof
-I feel like the title is a bit unwieldyâŚI get that itâs supposed to be charming, but unfortunately it doesnât really roll off the tongue. And Iâm not sure what âprecedingâ is supposed to mean in that contextâŚ
-Eeeee, your writing style is reallyâŚsomething~. Something good, by the way. ^^ It feels so very fresh and novelâŚand professional, too.
=Itâs hard to know what to sayâŚI have no idea what this story will be about. And yet, I enjoy reading it, which is a great sign if Iâve ever seen one. ;] Rock on; canât wait to see where this goes~
Rosie and the Reaper @akitsukino
-At first I didnât understand where the story had gone, and I was so confusedâŚthatâs what I get for doing this 2 months after the fact, I guessâŚ=P
-This grimm reaper character looks soâŚoddly innocent. ^^; It freaks me out a little, nglâŚ
=Itâs unfortunate that I got here too late to react to the whole thing, but anyway: overall, it feels kinda basic? =/ I think the art is goodâ could definitely be better, but itâs already above-average (especially the coloring). The story so far feels kinda predictable, though; doesnât seem to bring many new ideas to the concept.
âŚThat, and I want to like the Reaper but his face is so uncanny I just canât look at him. >_<
Thank you so much for checking out Doctored Chance! I know the full title can be unwieldy, but I haven't the heart to change it because it flows the way I (very personally) like. (sort of like "The Hundred Year Old Man Who Jumped Out a Window and Disappeared", where it gives away the premise of the plot but vaguely and rhythmically). It's not for everyone though that's very fair
I'm glad to hear you've enjoyed it so far! and that my writing style works. Thanks a million, it's really nice to hear it
My novel "The Legacy of combat" is inspired by many Shonen battle anime stories. I'll make it simple. If you like Dragon ball franchise, naruto, bleach, one piece, hunter X hunter, yugioh, black clover, etc then come check this out. I want to improve my writing skills through feedback, so please give me comments. Link is below
Hey! Here's a link to my book! In hope that your offer still stands.
Link: https://tapas.io/series/Death-before-the-Beginning/info
I have no idea when this thread will finally endâŚmaybe Iâll add it into my weekly schedule so I can get it done; Iâd rather not drag it out indefinitely. ^^;
TENTH UPDATE! (Replies 93-103)
Hetero Sakura @Koneko-chan-hai
=Kind of an interesting premise. The art is a little bleh, but you have a skill in composition that makes the whole comic feel more professional. I think it has a bright future~
The Dark Orient @raihasaki
-Some of the first few drawings are a little uncanny lookingâŚwith any realistic style, quality control is key.
-Impressive monster design~
=Overall, I think this looks like a good comic. Professional-looking art style, good dialogue & pacing, excellent compositionâŚitâs not the kind of thing I like, but I think it should do well.
The Missing Moon God @YueCross
-I think this is the first story Iâve read in this thread where the writing has an amateurish feel, but sounds good anyway. 0_0 Very interestingâŚ
=So I think this writingâs biggest issue is the pacing/spacing. Events kinda just cluster together without so much as a line break in between; you bring in new and dramatic developments in the span of a single sentence. Like, by the time I realize something serious just happened Iâm already 2 paragraphs ahead and wondering what I missed.
You might want to try to write a little more âslowlyâ; pad things out to give the reader time to absorb whatâs happening and actually feel it. A heavenly battle and subsequent MC suicide should take more than one 7-line paragraph to writeâŚI mean, I assume these things are important? If they are, you shouldnât present them in a way that implies they should be rushed through and skimmed over.
The Legend of the Flower Demon Lord @karinemmarques
-So, both the âmisunderstood/underdog evilâ AND the âtraining school to become the chosen oneâ tropes are in play hereâŚhow about thatâŚ
-AND the âMC girl who is loved by all the boys and hated by all the girls except for her lackey friendsâ trope, AND the âaiming for the one (1) mysterious boy who rejects all the girls but will probably get together with MC girl in the endâ tropeâŚwow
=Iâm probably already coming off as a hater, but I gotta say: this story feels pretty basic. =/
And the main character gives off a lot of Mary-Sue vibesâŚgenerally, when you try to write someone as the âoutcast/oddballâ and also the âdarling of the school/envy of everyoneâ at the same time, you can end up with that effect.
And of course, the ânot like other girlsâ themeâŚitâs subtle, but itâs definitely there, what with her being implied as the ONLY Princess whoâs not there to snag a warrior husband. Mm. T_T
HOWEVER, I have to admit that the premise is actually interesting. So thereâs a class of Princesses, who use their looks and charm to recruit Warriors to do quests for them, and a class of Warriors, who compete to get better quests and rewards from Princesses. Like, for once, a fantasy-school class division that has an immediate symbiotic dynamicâŚthatâs not bad.
With that in mind (and the backstory of the Ciels) I think this story could eventually mature into something really neat. But the key word there is âmatureââŚsmarter writing is needed, and a lot of it. For one thing, you gotta recognize that all these tropey themes are just that: tropey. They are old, theyâve been done, and most readers over the age of 10 have probably already seen a lot of them.
So when the narrator says something like âCan you BELIEVE weâre actually forced to compete with each other over our LOOKS??ââŚyes, yes we can. T_T Youâre in a princess school in a YA novel; the real surprise would be if you werenât.
JustâŚdonât write this story as if itâs even remotely difficult to understand. Focus less on having the MC explain and over-dramatically react to every (fairly predictable) aspect of her âquirkyâ life, and justâŚlet her live it.