I think there's something missing from this conversation, here and elsewhere, which is the concept that more often than not, offence is taken, not given.
It's usually very clear when someone is intending to give offence, so clear in fact, it almost always goes without saying.
But a lot of the time, especially these days, we find ourselves increasingly being put in positions where people not intending to give offence are being told they are being offensive, simply because one group or even individual has decided that some term or action offends them. This is a perilous mindset, which once taken root, more often than not leads to dangerous levels of censorship, even if that censorship is self-imposed.
If we cannot challenge, joke about or even discuss certain concepts, simply because one group deems them offensive, then we leave ourselves defenceless against terrible ideas when they rear their ugly heads, because all the person espousing those ideas has to do is claim to be a member of an oppressed class, and wammo, their ideas become a protected taboo.
Now I'm not saying that this relates specifically to this discussion, but rather I'd just like to warn against a general, creeping mentality I'm seeing pop up far too often these days, which says "if I am personally offended by what you're saying, then what you're saying is offensive." The implication being, you should then stop doing whatever it is you did because someone found it offensive.
Bringing it back to this discussion, if someone said to me their preferred pronoun is 'ze' or 'ne' or 've', I'd tell them that I'm not going to say that, regardless of whether they think I'm needlessly being a jerk or offensive, or whatever. I have my reasons, and yes, those reasons trump that person's comfort and/or mental wellbeing.
