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marvelescent
Oct '19

Okay so quick question. We just restarted, and while I love what we've done, I'm a little paranoid that the blurry first panel gives the wrong impression about the quality of the work. Also, I guess second question.. was the opening strong?? We got some helpful but critical advice about our start of our comic the first time we release, so we redid everything and started in another part of the story. So yeah, TWO quick questions then.

Also, if you do visit the comic, I won't go so far as to ask for a sub, but if you could at least drop a heart. that would be super cool. We'll return the love!

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    Oct '19

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fleohr
Oct '19

Hmm I think the panel after the warning note should be placed veeery below from it, because if I couldn't handle gore and yet see something gore there, even if it's all blurred, I might feel uneasy e__e

I believe the art looks good (veery gore too, not sure how it was before tho), but I feel like there are lots of info missing up, like: why the hell they got there? Why they are trying to kill the beast?

I know people usually try to fix this with a narrative, but you can try using dialogues to give hints by making one of the characters saying something like (excuse my poor english writing): "Damn, I should have stayed at home if it wasn't for the reward" (if you want to give a silly personality to one of the characters), or if you want something serious "The (beast name) is more powerful than we though! The city will be in danger if we don't do something about it"

Anyway, giving more dialogues to your characters, showing who is the leader, who should do what would imply they are a team, unless they are not, so they might need to learn how to be one in the future to kill the beast (just like the Monsters University movie)

marvelescent
Oct '19

Yeah, most of that was going to be in episode 2, in order to leave readers with some questions and a desire to continue. We're kind of waiting for the second to see if it plays out that way. But yeah, it doesn't seem so close when putting it together but seeing it now I can see what you mean. Do you think the blur was a bad idea?

fleohr
Oct '19

I see, but I also think you could add this second part on the first episode, because there are lots of action in there, I felt like I was reading the middle of the comic, instead of the beginning, that's what made me have those questions.

I know you wanted to start right in the climax, which is good, but you could also add more scenes that are maybe outside the cave(?), like the people from the city wondering what's happening, idk, dialogues of what's and why's, just so the reader wouldn't feel too overhelmed by too much action here and there.

It would also show your plot doesn't only happen in one place, but also in another too, after they finish the beast.

About the first panel (the blurred one) I'd remove it and fill a black space there, so if the reader are aware there are gore, they would just scroll down to see, if the reader are not comfortable with it, they wouldn't see any gore below the warning

marvelescent
Oct '19

Okay thank you! Since it's out, I'll be sure to make it clear more on the next episode. the pacing was timed a lot for the first one, so adding to it may be hard, but we can black the beginning and tweak what we can. it gives perspective for what readers may be thinking, thanks

tchotchkeco
Oct '19

The first blur scene you can tell you did it on purpose. So wouldn’t worry about that and I think it’s actually kind of cool. I also want to add I’m okay with not knowing why or how come the combat is going on in the first place. I do like that everything is kind of in the mystery from the get go. I’d say the opening is pretty good. I personally like a good combat/action scene early on. The gore informs the reader right away on what to expect from the story.

Though I agree that there isn’t enough of the gap between the warning and the violence. You can see the violence the moment you open it still. So there’s kinda no point in putting up a warning if someone’s gonna still see it the second they opening it. Other than that I think you’re all good for the next update.

marvelescent
Oct '19

Thanks for that, we may either get rid of the warning or black out the start, but good to hear the blur looked intentional. Thank you so much for your kind words, we're going to really try to get that second update out soon so there isn't any confusion keeping readers away!