Going to start you off right here with full honesty that I am not your target audience. I gave this a thorough reading, these are my general thoughts. It'll clearly be successful, dismissing any of my comments; so this is really just how it appears to an outsider. I'm not intending to hurt any feelings, you've clearly got talent and an audience that'll enjoy it.
1.What are your initial thoughts on what you've read?
This thing feels very much derivative of the genre; or for lack of a proper genre, for stories that involve getting ones freedom and absolution by way of collecting souls/hurting others/infiltrating a new sort of society. There is a general formula these things tend to follow, and the protagonist will likely collect souls, get caught up in a conspiracy or faction conflict against the ruling class, fall in love or be crushed upon (likely by one of the magical girls, probably also one of the adviser brothers), and the person who put said protagonist in this position is likely working for a third faction (in this case Heaven, I'm sure) and thus be doing the right thing in the wrong way for the protagonist.
I could be wrong, but that's how these things often go. It isn't predictable so much as it is format and genre issues. Superman is gonna save the day, Batman's not going to kill the Joker, the Flash is gonna go fast, and in these sorts of stories the above tends to happen. There's room for it, people consume it, people buy it and like it. But for me, personally, it lacks the brand recognition to get away with being more of the same or appearing like more of the same. Which isn't to say it is bad, but that I can always get store brand Vanilla Ice-Cream without having to get the same general Vanilla from an import store.
2.Favourite and least favourite part of my comic and why?
I generally don't care for the protagonist when he's not acting as soldier. That's an interesting dynamic, and it really seems washed over in favor of the main plot which will likely involve him collecting souls for his strange backer who likely wants to usurp the Empress. I would not be surprised if that backer were in fact an angel sent down to mess things up because God ain't pleased with the whole "paradise" thing going on in what is supposed to be his big fiery torture pit.
I liked the skeleton steward who gave the run down on how the Paradise works. That sequence was rather fun. The bit on the bridge with the new harem was adequate, the coloring was very pleasant to look at.
3.Opinion on each character appeared in this comic? (Just talk about one or two that most interest you is fine)
The Empress and the "Steward" I suppose, the one who does the little narrative device about the Phantom Paradise; I rather like these two. Perhaps because they adhere to being somewhat monstrous, one looks like a masked yaksha and the other is a skeleton in a cloak; these adhere to traditional Hellish imagery that doesn't get around enough nowadays (people like their devils, but not their bloody bones somehow).
The reveal of our protagonist, right after murdering a child; made me laugh. Which is probably not what you were going for. His hair made him look like he had weird ears and he's dressed in a very unsexy yet sexualized bit of clothing; so there was some thematic dissonance. One would expect someone who deserves hell to look a bit more worse for wear. But he's "attractive" because that's what being a protagonist so often requires.
Whenever you're going for the more classical fashion choices and influences, the art shines and gives off an authentic feel that this may be some Eastern Hellscape's twisted paradise. But when there's something not from that general area of influence, it feels very out of place and looks more belonging on magic girls and Final Fantasy protagonists.
4.On scale 1 to 10, how much did you enjoy the story by far?
I'm at maybe a 4 out of 10, I'm not invested. There are aspects to this that could be drawing my attention, but they aren't really given focus. The idea of a man, or teen (really depends on the protagonists age which is vague due to the medium/design choices) that accepts damnation and has killed out of nationalism (and possibly as a child soldier) is interesting. The mechanics of the paradise itself seem flawed to me though, and this is perhaps due to the earliness in the story. If this Phantom Paradise is a matriarchal place, a man-man construction in Hell built to spite God and ruled over by an inverse Madonna; why do certain rules exist? Given the vaguely Abrahamic set-up of the religion in question (what with Eden/Heaven/Hell, a serpent, et cetera), is this Madonna in fact Eve or perhaps the Whore of Babylon? Why do men have a mana potential yet no ability to perform magic; and is this tied into ones capacity to sin or to have sinned? Why is magic generic "force/element" style magic rather than something fitting of practitioners in Hell; and why would destructive forces be allowed within a paradise scenario? Do those on the outside have such capacities to them, and if so are there rebellions and wizards teaming up with and fighting demons to carve out their own bit of paradise?
5.On scale 1 to 10, how eager are you to read the next chapter?
Call me a 4 out of 10, pending the arrival of more skeleton individuals or hellspawn proper. But I am very likely not your target audience, so feel free to disregard me in general.
6.Do you have any predictions?
See above.
7- Please explain what happened by far.
Lucius and Hayate got into a fight; or rather Hayate chose to fight Lucius's sin in order to save him from total damnation. Lucius's sin runs Hayate through and makes him a bargain; go harvest souls for him (especially the soul of the Madonna) and in exchange Lucius doesn't go to hell. Hayate takes Lucius's place and has a conversation with the Skeleton Man who is really cool looking; said Skeleton gives him the run down on how things go without really going into why. Lucius acts snide and tells the Skeleton Man his purpose; which really ought to be kept on the down low because talking about assassinating an Empress seems like it should be a big deal. Skeleton Man shows his infinite wisdom by proclaiming Hayate an idiot who is going to die very quickly.
Hayate has a flashback sequence to when he wore sensible clothing and hair, and to also when he butchered a woman and infant. There's a soliloquy. And a fun little animation.
We then get a Eunuch explaining how things are to be; and I notice some people have pointed "elf" style ears while others do not. I assume there is a reason for this, because I didn't expect elves in Hell, and they don't strike me as demons. We then get two girls who use magic and a stick in the mud boy; playing role reversal from the usual trope of the two young pervy boys and the stick in the mud girl. Considering these people seem so young, I'm now very curious as to why they're in Hell and how they ended up in Phantom Paradise. Are they really horrifying creatures wearing kawaii human skin suits; or did they just butcher their parents with a hatchet one night?
They quickly get out of the way because the Ying-Ling Brothers show up and act in an arrogant/distant fashion as they observe the human livestock. They banter with the Eunuch, who I now question the right to his existence. If men exist in Phantom Paradise for sex/mana potential; what good is there in a Eunuch which as a role is traditionally one that doesn't get to have sex? If they needed someone to control the chattel, why not bring in an ugly burly demon who could scare people into line and break them with violence if they showed any signs of rebellion? Why some pretty guy who can't serve the primary purpose of men in this realm?
And then we get some talk about how some of these men aren't deserving so they're going to eliminate competition, starting with the prettiest.
And here we are now.
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If I could make any further comments, I'd love more diversity of body type. Beauty is very relative, and while I'm not saying you've got to go crazy with it; maybe pilfering some design ideas from Dynasty Warriors could help better diversify the cast without compromising your aesthetic. I guess I'm also a little put off by how generic, or rather uninspired Hell seems to be. Kill Six Billion Demons has a nice outland sort of look for its cosmic hellscape, and there's always the various iterations of Dante---which I wouldn't ask for raw, but some infusion might be nice. It's hard to really value something being in Hell without seeing Hell, or how something is built in Hell. For all its worth Hayake could be a double-agent for his nation in life, sent to kill his leader in exchange for saving the life of his friend Lucius; the setting is almost irrelevant at the current time.
