(Talking About Girls) Not getting what you want from the beginning is best, right?

[Silver7]

Okay so I grew up in a peaceful community where I didn't see much girls, me and my brother only had about two friends in that community.

So even though I really really like women, the thing is since I didn't have much girls around me from the beginning that caused me to focus on other things that opened up my mind to the joy of dancing to music, writing stories, drawing, watching anime, gaming and having fellowship with my friends.

So when I discovered all these things I love by not engaging with girls too early, then would you say that getting to know what you are passionate about is what you should do before taking on women?

(Know yourself before you know women?)

I found it lovely seeing all those beautiful and sexy girls on TV when I was around 11 years old while at the same time having the mindset of focusing on all the arts I fell in love with

(Waiting till I am 15 or 17 years old to starting talking to the kind of girls I like isn't so bad to me)

[AmysGames]

If you're under 15 years old, then there is absolutely no rush in finding a romantic partner, lol. You've got your whole life ahead of you.

[Stargazer31]

You are allowed to talk to women and have hobbies at the same time you know. Talking to girls or being around them isn't akin to dating

[moontokkym]

You know you can do all of those things with girls, right? Like find out you love dancing, writing, drawing, watching anime, you can do all of that with girls because you can have platonic friendships with anyone you get along with.

I feel like it's a benefit to everyone to meet as many different types and backgrounds of people from a young age within your age group, it really helps a lot of youngsters not be awkward around people who are different when they get into their teen years, e.g. boys not treating girls like they're from another planet and actually talking to them and listening rather than only meeting them in "romantic" contexts.

[delladz]

Echoing this!!! Your comfort and happiness is of course a priority but also just remember that women (and anyone who identifies somewhere inbetween or beyond the points of masculine and feminine), should be treated with a baseline level of respect because we're all people at the end of the day. Treat others how you want to be treated!

[kyupol]

Under 15... lol you got a lot of time to experiment and feel your way out. Keep it cool, roll with the punches. Think with the head between your shoulders. Do that, and you won't make the same stupid mistakes of many who have come before you.

Anyone can have their own subjective opinions on the matter. Don't believe in them 100%. Take them with consideration and a grain of salt. Wishing you the best.

[Silver7]

Yes but since I don't get to have a girlfriend too early, that builds up the anticipation towards getting a girl one day when I'm around 15 years old, and the built up anticipation makes getting a girlfriend that much sweeter (I hope you understand)

[NickRowler]

It’s good that you know your own self worth.

However, I am a bit concerned about your view on girls/women. They aren’t aliens or some separate species than men. They are humans just like everyone else.

I don’t think avoiding women/girls makes you a more rounded person. I am not saying you should date. But I think being able to have healthy and appropriate interactions with women/girls IRL is important.

[LunarScyphozoa]

Dude, they’re just people. Talk to them, ask about their pets and favorite video games and whatnot. Knowing your interests and what you’re like before you start dating is great, but girls are just you without any pockets, not a magical different species of pure beauty. Waiting to date until you’re older is totally normal, there’s no such thing as too late, but you should make friends with some girls first, without any intention of dating them just to understand them more and have one more person to talk to about art, gaming, anime, etc. More friends never hurt! You have all the time in the world, so just have fun, focus on yourself, and be nice to people and everything will work out.

[moontokkym]

The pressure to get a girlfriend has nothing to do with girls being around or not, it's way more about what kind of friend group you're in and cultural norms. I've seen way more groups of guy friends give eachother crap or marinate in self-deprecation because they feel they're "missing out" on girlfriends way too young, often because they've been told it's not "manly" to cry or be emotionnally vulnerable with the Bros so their emotional needs aren't being met and they've sort of assumed a girlfriend would "fix" that.

A ton of parents actively tell their kids that they can wait until they're in their late teens for romantic relationships so they have a bit more empathy training so they don't get as hurt, but no sane parent will cut off a whole gender they assume their kid'll be attracted to. That would be insanely unhealthy.

It's good to look forward to having a romantic relationship if that's something you want, but I've too often seen teens imagine an ideal relationship that cannot exist in real life through lack of experience, and being completely cut off from the group of people you're interested in only aids in dehumanisation and fetishisation because it's harder to see the group as diverse and complex people rather than a congealed lump of stereotypes. Like at 15 you wouldn't be "getting a girl", you would be "meeting someone you really get along with". That's why they're called "girl*friends*", they're friends first, like with the bros.

[Lensing]

Never forget what you are passionate about and always keep your interests,
with or without a partner.

Love and respect yourself because that´s the cornerstone of being able to
love and respect someone else.

Take your time, there is no need to rush

This comes from someone at your grandparents age who felt similiar to what
you described some decades ago

and....

[Stargazer31]

Yeah I'd recommend building up friendships with girls ASAP. You don't have to see them romantically just because they're there. And if you want a girlfriend you have to start as friends, because women aren't just prescribed to you as a reward.
Anyway, as others have said, you'll make more friends this way!

[thepenmonster]

So when I discovered all these things I love by not engaging with girls too early, then would you say that getting to know what you are passionate about is what you should do before taking on women?

What are you actually expecting?

[Silver7]

I just want to be well rooted in the things I like or know my interests fully before I get a girlfriend